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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance on: It's a Dirty Job: Use the Silly Solution for a Healthy Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many ...
Views: 1367 - When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2015 from Tina TessinaMany people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work together ...
Views: 2580 - Dear Dr. Romance: What I fear has happened the second time round - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I hope you can help me. My boyfriend passed away two years back... We were pretty much engaged, living together and everything. I thought i was over the whole thing, but now I know I'm not. A month back, or so.. i was seeing a man, and today i found out he had ...
Views: 1192 - Dear Dr. Romance: Are there dating guidelines for single parents? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am an elementary school counselor. If you wouldn't mind, I would like to ask you a question that involves a child of a single parent. This 12 year old boy's father died less than a year ago. His mom has started dating again (I believe this to be too soon). I ...
Views: 1189 - Resolving Inner Anarchy - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaRecent events have me thinking about political anarchy—riots, bombings, civil wars, threats, and other bad and dangerous behavior around the world. Politically, anarchy means obeying no laws. It’s frightening to watch a mob take over. Anarchy is the result of two things: repression ...
Views: 1142 - Dear Dr. Romance: It seems to be going in a circle. - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I would like your advice in my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been living together for a year and a half and known each other for 3 years. He calls me names and puts me down when i try to communicate with him and every time i want to break it off he tells me we should ...
Views: 1166 - Dr. Romance asks: Are the Post-Holiday Blues getting you down? - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaEveryone is relieved when the holidays are over, and sometimes disappointed. If you're worn out, it's worth your while to take the time to recharge a little, and pamper yourself. Dr. Romance gives 4 Tips for handling Post-holiday blues * If you are disappointed, and the ...
Views: 1148 - Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Stop My Husband's Ex-Wife from Smothering Their Son - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband has a son with his ex-wife. He is 12, but she still invites him to sleep in her bed. How old is too old to be sleeping with Mom? I know kids from divorced parents have different issues-- one being how a child should sleep, what ...
Views: 1381 - Creating Family Acceptance - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaLately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. ...
Views: 1145(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: His Clutter Drives Me Crazy! - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I found you online when i googled "How to Live with a Slob". My husband and I are opposites in the area of how to keep a house -- i am very clean and he is, well, not at all. The clutter drives me crazy! It is just one more issue that impacts our relationship. ...
Views: 1420 - Solving Problems Takes Equals - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaThere is a pervasive myth that somehow happy couples just agree on everything automatically all the time. Believing this myth, we enter relationships convinced that whatever problems or differences we have with our partners will be easy to solve. But, in reality, the individuals who make up a ...
Views: 1308 - Dr. Romance on Staying Young - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance is aware that there is a heavy emphasis on youth in today's culture. Companies and individuals want to sell you potions, clothing, makeup, diets, exercise and attitudes and other magic to help you stay young. But, scientific research shows that these things ...
Views: 1212 - Practicing Patience - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaHappy New Year! This is the traditional time for making resolutions, which we all know are simple to make, but much more difficult to keep. Resolutions imply change, and making changes requires patience. It’s such a valuable component of character that St. Paul considered it evidence that ...
Views: 1220 - Dear Dr. Romance: Won't solving the problem for myself create resentment? - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I recently read your No Cooperation? Solve it Yourself! If I am to solve the problem for myself won't that just create resentment that the other party is unwilling to help? Dear Reader: Well, you could choose to be resentful, or you could focus on how great ...
Views: 1200 - Dear Dr. Romance: I think she is really scared to go to therapy - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: To be honest I think she is really scared to go to therapyI have been many timesAnd I know it worksAnd I really want her and I to learn how to communicate stumped Dear Reader: she probably thinks you want to fix her, and that hurts her feelings. Ask her to go ...
Views: 1374 - Happy New Year from Dr. Romance! - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on creating a Happy New Year Most of us are infused with good will and joy over the holidays, getting together with loved ones and friends, spreaking kindness, and being surrounded by reminders of holiday spirit. The holidays happen around this time of year for a ...
Views: 1294 - Looking Backward, Looking Forward - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaHappy New Year! May you be filled with renewed energy for life, and the wisdom to put it to effective use. The month of January is named after the Roman god Janus—the god of beginnings and transitions. If you have seen depictions of him, you know he had two faces which ...
Views: 1210 - Dr. Romance on Anticipating the New Year - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you a Happy New Year! Every New Year feels like a new beginning. The sun, at its furthest point at Winter Solstice, has begun its annual swing closer to Earth, you change your calendar, and we all feel the renewal of the fresh, new year. With this sense of ...
Views: 1304 - Give Yourself a Gift - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaWant to give yourself a holiday gift that will last the rest of your life? Try giving yourself the gift of happiness. Research shows that happiness and satisfaction depend more on the inner person than on external circumstances. The secret to living a happy life is to get in charge of your life ...
Views: 1256 - Merry Christmas from Dr. Romance! - by Submitted on Dec 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you Happy Holidays with a song lyric. A Holiday Toast To You lyric by Tina B. TessinaSparkling stars, twinkling lights,Shorter days, longer nightsBusy streets are tinseled and bright with Chanukah stars ...
Views: 1915 - Merry Christmas from Dr. Romance! - by Submitted on Dec 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you Happy Holidays with a song lyric. A Holiday Toast To You lyric by Tina B. TessinaSparkling stars, twinkling lights,Shorter days, longer nightsBusy streets are tinseled and bright with Chanukah stars ...
Views: 0 - Dear Dr. Romance: Our sex life has been very bad - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance My husband of almost 9 years just told me about 2 months ago that he is in love with someone else. About 5 years ago I caught him cheating on me with this girl and he told me that it was over and it was just for the sex. Then 2 years later I found out that he was ...
Views: 1413 - Dear Dr. Romance: how do I forget that she is married and I am single? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a high school assistant and I fell in love with mother of one of my students. She doesn't know anything about and has some difficulty with her son's wife. I told her I want to help you to sort out your problem, but I have no idea how to help her and ...
Views: 1365 - Creating Holiday Magic - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2014 from Tina TessinaRecently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course dinner, Uncle Tommy ...
Views: 1137 - Dear Dr. Romance: They say I am a diamond as a man - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Thanks for sharing the great article "A Good Cry" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a question about it: "....If you're trying to help someone cope with a loss, don't try to make the bereaved person feel better. It just ...
Views: 1397 - Letting Go Takes Love - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaWhen you feel beset in your life, and people close to you seem to be difficult and uncooperative, consider that they may be reflecting back to you the behavior your own anxiety is creating toward them. Learning to let go of your obsessively trying to control others can free you to receive ...
Views: 1759(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I loved her then and I love her today - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have read several of your comments in articles on the dadsdivorce.com website concerning when to introduce a new girlfriend to your children. I have a unique situation. I have been divorced for over a year two teenage boys. A few months ago a woman I met long ...
Views: 1468 - Dear Dr. Romance: Am I wrong for asking for more time for us? - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I've been in a relationship for 6 1/2 years with a man I can see myself marrying and growing old. The first 4 years we were on our long distance relationship because I was in college in another state. We then lived together for a year to realize we could ...
Views: 2038 - Dear Dr. Romance: How can I let go of a toxic relationship? - by Submitted on Dec 01, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I wonder if you have an article that you've written that you can point me too on how to let go of a toxic relationship. I've been involved for 7 months with a man who is continually evasive, avoidant-attachment, manipulative and I need to figure out ...
Views: 1442 - Creating Connections: Draw Them In - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2014 from Tina TessinaMany years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it Outwitted by Edwin Markham He drew a circle that shut me out — Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a ...
Views: 1138 - Dr. Romance on Giving Thanks - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving! A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems ...
Views: 1156 - How to Have Happier Holidays! - by Submitted on Nov 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaRichard and I just indulged in our favorite December tradition—we watched our favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge! the musical starring Albert Finney) which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year. No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, ...
Views: 1174 - Better Intimacy, Better Sex - by Submitted on Nov 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaAs a counselor, I get a lot of clients who are worried about intimacy and sex. Romance books are a lovely escape from reality, and can help reduce your stress from daily frustrations. And, you can even learn a few tricks to enhance your relationship. The danger comes in if you ...
Views: 1522(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: What is the right love to last a lifetime? - by Submitted on Nov 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am writing this letter to you because I really want to know what is the right love to last a lifetime? I am frustrated right now. How couples especially married, last love into lifetime? I am in love with someone, but I don't know if that person feels the ...
Views: 1438(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Friends With Benefits - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: If you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. *If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the ...
Views: 1269(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I don't want to keep making the same mistakes - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a 51 year old divorced Mom who recently began seeing someone. I like him and want to pursue this relationship, but I don't want to keep making the same mistakes! Some people say "be yourself" other say "don't do too much too soon, keep ...
Views: 1198 - Dear Dr. Romance: I don't think I want to be in this relationship after all - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am currently reading your book, The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman can Make Before 40 and absolutely loving it. I have been married for a year and four months and we are going through a really tough time right now. I have suggested counseling and my husband ...
Views: 1373(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Still Miss Him Terribly - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband/best friend crossed-over a few years ago and I still miss him terribly. I think of him every day and his essence is is always with me. I am still in love with him and cannot imagine having a relationship with another man. At this time, however, I have ...
Views: 1326 - Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2014 from Tina TessinaDespite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I’m grateful. It wasn’t always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a ...
Views: 1216 - The Power of Politeness - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaFor quite a while now, we’ve heard many public figures, like Rush Limbaugh and comedian Bill Maher express scorn about people who are politically correct. Maher even gave his show the very funny title “Politically Incorrect.” Terms like “the PC police” were used to ...
Views: 1351 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm having problems with my Daughter-In-Law - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm having problems with my daughter in law . I I love her. She and my son had a relationship for more than fifteen years and were married for six. They have two preschool age children. I always thought My daughter-in-law and I got along, but now we can only ...
Views: 1449 - Dr. Romance on How to Help a Friend Who is Depressed - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaIt's not easy to know what to do when you have a friend who seems depressed. Dr. Romance has some guidelines to help you support and care for your dear one. 1. Don't try to cheer your friend up. It just sounds like you don't understand. 2. Listen, listen, listen: Your friend ...
Views: 1362 - Dear Dr. Romance: I had never questioned him about other ladies - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a couple of years into my relationship with many problems. I met my guy online and he moved the relationship along rather quickly. His eagerness even made me a bit nervous. After a couple of months being with him, I began to fall for him and fell in ...
Views: 1251 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm having trouble letting go of a guy who mistreats me - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm still having a bit of trouble letting go and cutting off communication with a guy who mistreats me. I understand in my head that this is not right, but I can't seem to get it emotionally. Yesterday was his birthday and particularly difficult to ...
Views: 1311 - Emotions as Weather - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaAlthough most people in the country wouldn’t agree, we in Southern California have been having extreme weather conditions for us: rain and mudslides. You could almost say we’re so used to mild conditions that we become afraid of what others would call “real” ...
Views: 1368 - Dear Dr. Romance: she is in denial and wants to escape the pain - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My best girlfriend ever and I dated for about eight months, then had a long distance relationship when she went back to her home country. She just broke up with me over email and she is dating someone from her home city for the last month. I thought we were ...
Views: 1448(1 vote) - Comforting the Little Orphan Girl - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaWhen life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. ...
Views: 1382 - Dr. Romance on: 11 things people won't tell you about divorce - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaThere's a lot of misinformation about divorce, and Dr. Romance would like to clear up some of the confusion. Here are 11 things people will not tell you about divorce. 1. Divorce will not make you happier, unless you’re leaving an abusive relationship.2. Divorce sometimes seems ...
Views: 1438(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a single father of a 6 year old daughter - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I hope you don't mind me writing you but I came across an article that you said: "The best interest of the child also could preclude a mom from gaining custody," says Dr. Tessina. "If a judge doesn't deem that the mother meets the ...
Views: 1442 - Self-Control: Who’s in Charge Here? - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2014 from Tina TessinaWant to be powerful in your relationships? Learn emotional self-control. Learning to take charge of your emotions means you can’t be “set off” by someone else. You control your reactions, they don’t control you. When you’re too reactive to your partner, he or she ...
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