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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance asks: Are you addicted to your smart phone? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2015 from Tina TessinaRecently, clients have been coming in to Dr. Romance's office with questions about their cell phone use: either it is creating a problem in their relationship, or with getting work done, or even health problems. Here's how to tell if you have cell phone addiction; and what ...
Views: 1293(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Should I give up on her? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance A question for you: I have a female friend that I dated for 7 months - she dumped me - and is, I think, dating some other guy. The question is: I have tried to ask her for 5 or 6 different events - and have gotten turned down for each one - with some excuse - the excuse sounds ...
Views: 1104(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: What is being a therapist like? - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Tina TessinaQ & A with a Dr. Romance reader: Q: I would like your advice and input. I have been working in business for 12 years as a CPA and have recently been quite frustrated with it. Recently I did some career/interests/aptitude testing and found that the work I do now is pretty much what I ...
Views: 1089(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am a substance abuse counselor - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I work at an Indian health clinic in northern California. I am a substance abuse counselor, or Certified Addiction Treatment Counselor . After scanning a book I found on a colleague's bookshelf called The Real Thirteenth Step I felt compelled to seek it out, and I ...
Views: 1122(2 votes) - Turning Poison Into Medicine - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Tina TessinaThe revered Sufi poet, Rumi, wrote: “We turn poison into medicine and our sorrows into blessings” I’m thankful for many things. I live a wonderful life, surrounded by loving friends and my beloved husband, Richard; I have the privilege of doing ...
Views: 1130(1 vote) - The Good Boss and the Bad Boss: Motivation and How to Create It - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients have come in complaining of a lack of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the job, to not being able to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed in the morning. They desire to achieve both positive and negative motivations — positive motivations ...
Views: 1271(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Will this guy turn out like my wicked stepfather? - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have a problem. My mother has introduced me to a male co-worker at her work. We have been friends for a month. My problem is that I am afraid that this relationship may become serious. The gentleman that she introduced me to is real nice, but my stepfather was the same way ...
Views: 1183(1 vote) - Emotional Self-Control - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Tina TessinaOne of the most powerful ways I found to stop being a doormat in relationships was to learn emotional self-control. When you’re too reactive to your partner, he or she can easily draw you into a fight that stops you both from focusing on fixing the problem. Self-control is not easy. In ...
Views: 1485(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Can short guys date? - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance : I'm a 5'4" 34yr old male. I've searched online dating sites for a few years now and read thousands of women's profiles. In doing so, I recognized a peculiar trend in women's descriptions of their ideal mate. It's exhilarating to read ...
Views: 1222(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am having issues with my boyfriend. I was searching something on WebMD and found an article that spoke of your book How to Be a Couple and Still be Free. I started doing some research on you and your other books (It Ends With You, How To Be A Couple and Still Be Free, ...
Views: 1682 - Dr. Romance on Living Outside the Box - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a ...
Views: 1284(2 votes) - Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when ...
Views: 1293(1 vote) - How To Avoid Loving a Jerk - by Submitted on May 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaAs I was swimming last week, a young couple came into the pool. Instead of doing laps or walking, like most of the gym members, they were just enjoying themselves. He started splashing her, and she said “Joey, stop it!” but she said it in a placating, whiney voice. He just kept ...
Views: 1456(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Does Friends with Benefits Work? - by Submitted on May 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was browsing the net and came across one of your articles "No Strings Attached Sex" which I found very interesting as it relates to a situation I am facing currently. I am a young male and I cannot handle having sex for a while with a person ...
Views: 1350(1 vote) - Why Couples Fall out of Love - by Submitted on May 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling office, I frequently deal with people who’ve heard the dread phrase, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” How can it happen that a couple who were once thrilled with each other can fall out of love? It seems like a mystery, but it’s not. And, ...
Views: 1208(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on 10 signs a guy is cheating on you - by Submitted on May 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Telling a guy you won't stand for cheating is a waste of time. Instead, be open and accepting, and encourage him to talk about his sexual exploits. If he's cheated before, he probably will cheat again. The best protection against cheating is to have open and frank ...
Views: 1561(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I was always wrong - by Submitted on May 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: THANK YOU so much for this dating tip! My girlfriend sent me your article "You Be The Judge" yesterday. I needed this. I dated this African guy for 4 months, 3 weeks in which we were actually together, and I was always upset and let-downed. Always, his way, his ...
Views: 1517 - JEALOUSY, FAITHFULNESS AND DISTANCE - by Submitted on May 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part- or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, “'til death do us part” but no one said anything about what happens when a military ...
Views: 1259 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm married but I love somebody else - by Submitted on May 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I really admire how you advise people, please help me too. I'm married and I love my husband very much, but I love somebody else so much I don't know why although people say you can't love 2 people at the same time but I do. coz I love him very much and ...
Views: 1475 - Dear Dr. Romance: I have never put up with any crap until this one came along - by Submitted on May 11, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I met a girl about three years ago at work. We both saw a connection, but neither one of us followed up on it. We were both in relationships, she was married. Several months later she told me things weren't good at home and we had started talking. She and I became ...
Views: 1186(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on The Right Way to Love - by Submitted on May 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There’s a pervasive myth in our society that there is a right and a wrong way to love. However, there’s not much clarity about what the right might be. We all have difficulty with relationships and difficulty with love. Therefore, we’re liable to draw the uncomfortable ...
Views: 1158 - Watch Out for Bad Relationship Habits - by Submitted on May 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaI often write about good relationship habits, so this month, I thought I’d explore some of the bad habits I see in my counseling practice that lead to strife and struggle in relationships. Hopefully, if you recognize any of these habits in your own relationship, you’ll work ...
Views: 1214 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am considering being a licensed psychotherapist - by Submitted on May 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am considering being a licensed psychotherapist. What was your education track if I may ask? Dear Reader: Of course you may ask. I was licensed in 1978, so things were quite different then. I took an independent study curriculum at Lindenwood Colleges, and I used ...
Views: 1417 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am not sexually as attracted to him as I'd like to be - by Submitted on May 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was hoping for a little advice on my relationship now that is truly wonderful and appears to be the best relationship of my life. Things are souring from my end, which I could not understand why, until this morning when it dawned on me. I have never been as happy as I am now ...
Views: 1302(1 vote) - How to Cope with Toxic Friendships - by Submitted on May 03, 2015 from Tina TessinaResearch shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family, but all friendships are not beneficial. A healthy friendship has mutual caring, mutual respect, mutual responsibility and good communication. Breaking up with an important friend ...
Views: 1505(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I can't decide if she's as in to me as I am her - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:My situation is different that some. See I have only been in 2 relationships, but they were really long term. My first I was 16 till I was 21. Second from 22 till 26 years old. Both of those relationships were an on off kind of relationship. So inbetween the ons and off, ...
Views: 1170(2 votes) - Your Inner Detective - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaThe biggest obstacle to most of my clients’ healing and recovery is their inability to understand and accept their feelings, and the emotional and behavioral clues that indicate where the problems lie. Most of us learn early that being too open with our feelings and thoughts is dangerous. ...
Views: 1268(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, ...
Views: 1428(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I have blogged before about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, ...
Views: 1428(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages, after she asked for my advice I suggested a spousal abuse counselor for therapy. She didn't receive counseling and went on to a second failed marriage. This time even worse than the first. She doesn't understand the ...
Views: 1386 - Dear Dr. Romance: My son gets angry, throws things - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am writing to you for your professional opinion regarding my 15 year old son. His behavior overall is good but when he gets angry he throws things swears a lot and just a few minutes ago destroyed my vacuum cleaner in one blow to the floor. I am a single parent about ...
Views: 1241 - Dear Dr. Romance: It's as if something turned out bad - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have a friend who's asking for an advice and accidentally, I saw in the Internet your advices to some heart problems. So I told myself to try ask help from you also. This lady friend of mine is well, kind of in love with a man who's also in love with her. ...
Views: 1114(2 votes) - Tapping Your “Inner Mentor” to Create New Meaning in Your Life - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaSooner or later all of us question the meaning of life. The sooner we get to it, the better chance we have of finding a satisfactory answer. As a therapist I watch many of my clients pass through stages of personal growth. Once they work through the issues that have held them back, they often ...
Views: 1406 - Dr. Romance on Self-Reliance and Independence - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina Tessina"As the price of liberty is vigilance -- so the price of independence is self-determination, the price of dignity is self-assertion, and the price of respect is self-respect," wrote psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz. Dr. Romance knows that self-determination and self-respect are the ...
Views: 2462 - Dr. Romance's Newest Ebook: The Real 13th Step - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance announces The Real 13th Step:Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the Twelve-Step Programs Dear readers: So many of you have written and e-mailed to ask about The Real 13th Step that I'm delighted to have this new edition in print. It's the ...
Views: 2208 - Learning Forgiveness - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaLearning to forgive those who hurt us is an essential life skill, because it helps develop inner maturity, frees us from emotional bondage to the other person, and helps us develop the power to move on. Forgiveness begins with learning to forgive yourself for any damage you may ...
Views: 1542 - Dr. Romance: You Are a Gift - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Each of us is individual, special and different for a reason: You are a gift to the planet. Anthropology tells us we are different because we survive better that way – the recombining of genes in sexual reproduction makes us a stronger species than cloning would. However, ...
Views: 1126 - Guidelines for Being Better Understood - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2015 from Tina Tessina1. Seek first to understand. If you know your partner's frame of reference, you can speak to him/her within it. 2. Pay attention to how your words are landing. If your companion's response looks off the mark for what you said, check out what he/she is ...
Views: 1216 - Dr. Romance on The Worrier’s Guidelines: simple steps to combat worry - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Often, it seems that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that must be done, and like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in place. And she was created before computers, cell phones and e-mail! ...
Views: 1133 - Dr. Romance on The Worrier’s Guidelines: simple steps to combat worry - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Often, it seems that there are not enough hours in the day to do everything that must be done, and like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland we have to run as fast as we can just to stay in place. And she was created before computers, cell phones and e-mail! ...
Views: 1099 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm in my late 40s and feeling very unhopeful about my future love life. - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I am in a terrible funk over a failed relationship that lasted 2 years and I thought would lead to marriage. We met online and now I'm afraid if I go online again, he will see my profile and/or I will see his. I took this breakup so hard, the thought of that happening just ...
Views: 1435 - Getting Out of Your Way - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaRecently, I wrote here about making the most of time. This month, I have been asked a lot about how people can overcome paralysis and self-sabotage, so I thought I’d pass on my ideas on the subject. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your yourself. In addition to not ...
Views: 1130 - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel like such a damned freak. - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My entire adult life, I have gone out to all the places you're told to go to meet someone special. Nothing. I never even get asked out. It's like I'm invisible, and my life has wasted away because there's not a damn thing I can to do to 'make' someone ...
Views: 1049 - Dr. Romance on How to Write a Love Letter: put your relationship in perspective - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr Romance adapted this from an Alcoholics Anonymous handout: We often get out of touch or out of sorts with people – sometimes they leave or pass on, sometimes we quarrel, sometimes we just grow apart. If your connection, or lack of one, with someone is troubling you, here’s a simple way to ...
Views: 1534 - Couples Can Cooperate for Success - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaYou have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants and needs. If you ...
Views: 1295 - Dear Dr. Romance: is it natural for a man to masturbate? - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am single man, I have question for you, is it natural for a man to masturbate? I normally, do it everyday, sometimes 4 times a day. Tell me if its wrong or normal to fantasize my cousin and she is a woman? Is it that wrong thing to do? I love to masturbate and to me ...
Views: 1303 - Surviving Loss and Thriving Again - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2015 from Tina TessinaNone of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking ...
Views: 1057 - Dr. Romance on Silver and Gold: secrets to making and keeping friends - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaMake new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.——adage Research conducted by Dr. Dean Ornish and others shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family. But, in our mobile society, keeping friends is not always possible. ...
Views: 1150 - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel terrible about not keeping the promises I made - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My story will probably sound like a thousand others you've heard, but I am in desperate need of some answers. I am in my fifties, my wife is a few years younger. My wife had a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, so menopause is not likely part of this equation. As you are ...
Views: 1408 - Dear Dr. Romance: My girlfriend doesn't think she can handle this relationship. - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing ...
Views: 1917 - Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when ...
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