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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr. Romance: Why Can't I Spark the Interest of a Woman? - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your Dr Romance Blog and a small paragraph on "10 Reasons to Dump a Guy." I'm trying to find out why I can't find a woman, or better put: why I cant I spark the interest of a woman? I'm 40 years old I was never married nor do I ...
Views: 1424 - How Not to Fight-Myths about Fighting In Relationships, And What to Do About Them. - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling practice, couples are often surprised to learn they can communicate and solve problems effectively without fighting; but sometimes you may find it’s not so easy to give up your struggles. You may have trouble letting go of the fighting habit because of two factors: social ...
Views: 1519 - Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2014 from Tina TessinaThe old folk songs say it: Oh, love is handsome, love is fine Love is a jewel when it is new; ...
Views: 1218 - Dear Dr. Romance: Please help me before I totally screw up - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: For several years, I’d been a self proclaimed lesbian who was only attracted to women and only involved in intimate relationships with women (the idea of intimacy with a man, even when one hit on me in public, literally made me nauseous)The one exception was my childhood ...
Views: 1290 - Dr. Romance on Love Styles - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There was a time when life seemed very hard, so hard I tried not to think about it.. Several times I helped to destroy some very viable relationships. Changing myself, my life and my loves has been very exciting and fulfilling, yet I am still growing. Love Styles is intended ...
Views: 1342 - Kindness and Happiness - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaRecently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I received—from my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support and encouragement to ...
Views: 1260 - Dear Dr. Romance: I guess we don't separate the "math" from the "emotion!" - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaTo watch video, click here Dear Dr. Romance: I saw your video about couples fighting over finances I am totally on board as I think what you share is phenomenal. The challenge is my approach I suppose as my wife Mel is almost NEVER on board. I guess we don't ...
Views: 1673 - Asking for What you Want - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Tina Tessinab> In my counseling office, I see a lot of damage done because people don’t know how to ask for what they want, or don’t think it’s OK. Not asking for what you want means you’ll eventually resent somebody, and that leads to a lot of strife. So today, I thought ...
Views: 1314 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am a Native American woman who has been abused and betrayed - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a native American woman who has been abused and betrayed by my husband. He was my coresearcher and advisor for several years. We were married according to tribal custom, which he later denied happened and disowned me in the courts where he was ...
Views: 1268 - Dear Dr. Romance: If I am not strong, I cannot be an example for my children - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am mid-thirties mom with 3 children looking to divorce. I read your article "Family Violence Q & A" and I decided to write to you for help to stand on my feet again. I was a homemaker since I had my first child, but had lived very unfulfilled ...
Views: 1514 - Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Not Fighting - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from Tina TessinaFighting a lot? Dr. Romance recommends: No matter what you’re fighting about: money, sex, kids or something else, the fighting is an indication that your communication isn’t working. If this happens only occasionally, such as when one or both of you are tired or stressed; it’s not too big ...
Views: 1263(2 votes) - These Decisions Can Increase Your Happiness - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaWhen you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams. 1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is ...
Views: 1280 - Dear Dr. Romance: I have never met him and he lives in another country - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I stumbled upon your article "Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice" while I was searching for advice on dating a divorcee. I can't help but wonder what advice you would give to a girl who has never been married who is currently seeing a divorcee. I ...
Views: 1318(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Throughout the years, there has been financial infidelity - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband and I have been married for over thirty years. Our children are grown. We own our home , but have a mortgage. Throughout the years, there has been financial infidelity: When we got married, my husband was evading bills from retail stores. I ...
Views: 1655 - Turnaround Time - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaSolstice is the day near year end when the sun is furthest away from the Earth, and immediately begins to come closer again. Solstice marks a celestial turning point, and it’s no coincidence that we celebrate the end of the old year, and begin a new year of birth and renewal at this time. ...
Views: 1325 - Problem Solving for Couples - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn a previous article “From Struggling to Solving” I discussed how to get from arguing to solving problems. Getting into the right frame of mind is a great start, but many of my clients also need steps for how to solve problems. Here are three of my most effective ...
Views: 1556 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Decide Whether or Not to End Your Marriage - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaTo watch video, click here Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these ...
Views: 1801 - Romance is Not Necessarily Love - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real incarnation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid’s ...
Views: 1320 - Mirrors and Teachers - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2014 from Tina TessinaThere are people I love who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me. It’s not that they’re bad people, others get along with them fine, and, actually, so do I. It’s just that I have to work a little bit more to understand what they mean, to ...
Views: 1216 - Dear Dr. Romance: I would like to get out of this anxiety - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a 70-yr old man who has been married more than forty years. I read your article "Autonomy and Dependency" I feel like I've been in a codependency relationship the last fifteen years and havedeveloped anxiety & depression. My wife is a ...
Views: 1450 - Living Outside the Box - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaI was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a box about work. The box ...
Views: 1288 - Dear Dr. Romance: twice I have been let down by this man I so love - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:My partner whom I have been in a relationship with for the past year has changed and let me down twice. We were first friends for several years & became a couple for the last year. We both fell in love instantly and desire to live together to build towards a good ...
Views: 1419 - Dr. Romance on shared laughter - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or ...
Views: 1496(1 vote) - Handling Anxiety Effectively - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaWe are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to “acting out” behavior, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money problems as a distraction. To avoid ...
Views: 1260 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am somewhat leery of another romance - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My last romantic relationship (that I thought was mutual) ended because she said one day out of the blue, "I don't love you any more." I think she never really did, but rather I was her crutch after her lastbreakup. I loved her wholly, with all my ...
Views: 1304 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy I know online from a social site, he's ten years older than I am. We've been in contact for several months. We now live in different countries. Recently, our chatting got intense and he told me that he likes me. ...
Views: 1850 - How to Cope with the Loss of a Friend - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaI was recently sitting in my favorite coffee shop, and remembering my dear friend who used to meet me there and who died not long ago. As I get older, I’m experiencing more and more loss, and so are my friends of a similar age. Those of us who survive loss still have to “keep calm ...
Views: 1727 - Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the ...
Views: 1581 - Dear Dr. Romance: At first I was hurt, but now I'm irritated. - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I do not like my job, I have two more classes before I complete my masters in HR to move to a better position and recently passed the PHR certification. I was talking with my boyfriend about the environment at the company and how they are always threatening ...
Views: 1348 - Technology and Love - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaTechnology can have a big impact on relationships. In my counseling office, I see many couples who are struggling over Internet and social media issues. The ability to work at home via computer and smart phone can mean arguing about how work spills over and absorbs relationship time. Secrets ...
Views: 1786 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am allowing my narcissistic ex to run circles around me - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I am mindful that I am allowing my soon to be controlling, narcissist ex ( civil law attorney) to run circles around me, just as we did when we were married. After attending a divorce group session at my local church, they recommend that I set up some specific boundaries ...
Views: 1527 - Dr. Romance video: Do men have biological clocks? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on men and biological clocks: To watch video, click here Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one? You’d think the positive ...
Views: 1910 - Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaI have written in this column recently about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your ...
Views: 1523 - Dear Dr. Romance: On my death bed, I will not be in the mood to explain - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your newsletter "How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child" with joy, how you simplify things for us. I already tried by email, but it got more complicated. I received two emails, the second one, had a picture with the message ''see what you ...
Views: 1678 - Dear Dr. Romance: You're giving advice on what YOU consider normal - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:Thank you for your free articles, you have a lot of good stuff in there. A couple of the girls at work and I read your articles and get a good laugh. You're giving advice assuming that our lives are what YOU consider normal. You have a good job, make good money, live in a ...
Views: 1485 - Debunking Myths about Dating - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2014 from Tina TessinaI'm updating my book The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. The new version will be called Dr. Romance's Guide to Dating in the Digital Age. The following article is excerpted from the new book. A lot of the problems that come up in dating again are generated by social expectations (how ...
Views: 1594 - Dear Dr. Romance: I rescued my mother from the big bad wolf, my father - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your article about RESCUING: "Avoiding the Drama Triangle". I have been rescuing my mother from the big bad wolf my father. He would beat my mother, beat me, and beat my sister. I decided to rescue her. She decided for me to rescue her from her ...
Views: 1585 - Dr. Romance on Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaAs a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual. Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance: • ...
Views: 2282 - From Struggling to Solving - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaHealthy relationships are built on a foundation, or infrastructure, of clear thinking, problem solving, and mutual support. Any willing couple can learn to build a happy relationship, if they stop reacting and learn to respond thoughtfully. As an individual you have ideas and beliefs about how ...
Views: 1495 - Dear Dr. Romance: He said I was a false friend. - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I love reading your articles here and on Divine Caroline, and I always look forward to the new ones. I have a long time online friend. We have been friends for about three-four years, and I even felt I was in love with him for a while - and told him so. He said he ...
Views: 1477 - The Road Map: Why Writing Down Your Goals Works - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaWe see a lot of advice to write down your goals and dreams, but does it really help? Actually, it does. For one thing, it helps you get clear on exactly what you want, and makes the goals more imaginable. They seem more real when you have thought through them clearly and written them ...
Views: 1696 - True Beauty: Honor the god or goddess in you. - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaExtreme makeovers are all the rage these days, with botox injection parties, and reality shows. Plastic surgery is on the rise. Many people are trying to match the extraordinary measures actors and actresses go through to look perfect on the screen. These are shortcuts taken to try to ...
Views: 1456 - Dear Dr. Romance: I realize that jealousy may be the main culprit - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance Your web-site impressed me and prompted this note, and I'd appreciate your thoughts.I am a reasonably well-educated individual which includes a couple of degrees in psychology and have been quite successful in my career. My wife who is also well-educated and our ...
Views: 1427 - Dear Dr. Romance: he can't forgive me because I did it first. - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm in high school and going through a rough patch in my relationship I have been with my boyfriendFor 17 months, sort of on an off, but 5 months ago we broke up and I slept With another male an yesterday he told me he had sex with another female after I told him ...
Views: 1469 - Keys to a Happy Relationship - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2014 from Tina TessinaEveryone wants the best relationship they can have. The markers of a happy relationship are: Cooperation/partnership, mutuality, laughter and affection. Whether you’re in a relationship now or hoping to be, these keys will help you create a more loving and happier partnership. ...
Views: 1451 - Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaWant to make sure your relationship is a success? Here are ten ways to bring the sparkle back and keep it going. Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage 1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other --about your frustrations, about sex, about anger, about disappointment, ...
Views: 1317(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: It's tuff on me waiting for her to get it together. - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: How can I sign up for your Happiness Tips newsletter? I want to read "The One Who Got Away." Also which article would you recommend reading in my case? I met a wonderful lady who loves dancing like I do, and for almost 8 months she has been getting her house ...
Views: 1496 - Dear Dr. Romance: I discovered she is lesbian - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Nine months ago, I met a girl on Facebook. my words about many subject attract her , then she add me as her friends, and I discovered that she is lesbian. Before that, I didn'tknow there was lesbian world but when we chat I get to know her very ...
Views: 1497 - Dear Dr. Romance: I think I have a tendency to lose myself in a relationship - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice. I'm feeling so troubled. I got divorced a few years ago. Since then, I became involved with a man more than ten years older than me. I got a work assignment out of town, and he was adamant about keeping a ...
Views: 1635 - How To Create A Wedding Ceremony - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaMany couples are moved to write their own wedding ceremony: either because they aren’t comfortable with the traditional ones, or they don’t belong to a tradition that has a ceremony, or they just want to create something unique that expresses their love and commitment. To help you ...
Views: 1731(1 vote)