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Love Is Forgiveness, Compassion, Submission and Respect- The Masculine Mystique - Field of Lost Dreams - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownEach of us begins his or her life at the center of a perfect 3-pronged conspiracy. Born into an established environment, you immediately commence your cultural formation. After the initial explosion of neural and synaptic formations, for the first three years of your life, your environment plays ...
Views: 1673 - The Male Brain - Hardwired to Fail? - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownAs if the emotional, social, cultural and hormonal changes that overtake a man during the midlife transition aren't severe enough, he also has to factor in a biologically-based uphill battle that he has to fight to maintain his place in the world. Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen from Cambridge University ...
Views: 1909 - No Little Pill Will Fix It - by Submitted on Nov 24, 2008 from H. Les BrownOver the past number of years, there has been an explosion of advertising around pharmaceuticals that are designed to alleviate problems with ED [erectile dysfunction] in men (for the drug companies and advertising agencies, the embarrassment of ED has apparently replaced the heartbreak of ...
Views: 1018 - Turning Obligation into Celebration - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownRemember Charles Dickens' opening lines to A Tale of Two Cities? "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." These words apply to more than just Paris before the French Revolution. Welcome to the holidays! If you're older than 5, these are the days that we genuinely love to hate. ...
Views: 983 - Balancing Your Needs Against Your Wants - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2008 from H. Les BrownLet's assume for the sake of argument that you're going to pass through a number of careers in your lifetime (because you are). Let's also assume that retirement isn't in the picture for you (because it's not). That means that, sooner or later, you're going to be asking yourself some difficult ...
Views: 1404 - How Stuck Are You in Your Job? - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2008 from H. Les BrownDo you remember a time when your work was fun? Do you remember when you looked forward to going to wok? (If you don't remember these things, then you'd better start taking a closer look at the career you've chosen for yourself!) When you remember these good times, see if you can make a list ...
Views: 1041 - What Will Your Next Career Look Like? - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownThinking of retiring? If pundits are right (and it certainly looks that way from here), the concept of 'retirement' has been put to rest — permanently. Take a look at the recent history of employee benefits. Pensions were the first to go. They relied on a continuous growth model that has ...
Views: 1032 - How Powerful Is Your Denial? - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownThere's a qualitative difference between the male ego and the female ego. I've never heard of anyone demanding of any female that she prove that she's a 'real women.' It's just assumed. It's taken for granted. A woman is born a woman. That's exactly the opposite condition from the one that all ...
Views: 1012 - A Sneak Peek at the Future - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownAs the world financial situation continues to unravel before our eyes, the last vestiges of that sense of security that we've all been led to believe in has been exposed as the fairy tale that it's always been. We've always had plenty of evidence all around us that 'security' was an illusion ...
Views: 856 - Barack Obama And The World At Midlife - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2008 from H. Les BrownNever fear: this is not a political exposé. Instead, it's a reflection on a fascinating conversation that I had with Dr. Jed Diamond last night on my internet radio program. As you may know, Dr. Jed is the author of the best-selling books, Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome. ...
Views: 1225 - The Most Terrible Feeling Of All - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2008 from H. Les BrownOne day my father, as a young man, came home from work to find the apartment cleaned out of furniture and swept clean. His wive (not my mother) was gone. Needless to say, reconciliation wasn't an option. I also know of a woman who was so alienated from her husband that, from time to time, he'd ...
Views: 1340 - Is The Man in the Mirror a Fraud? - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor the past few days, I've been reading Dr. Jed Diamond's newest book, The Irritable Male Syndrome with rapt attention (in advance of interviewing him on my upcoming internet radio program). In my estimation, this book is required reading for anyone in the helping professions. It explores a ...
Views: 1179 - Redefing Work - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2008 from Keith BrayRedefining Work More support for “The Creative Theory of Recovery” I’ve been privileged to walk this earth for a while, do some great things, travel and work with interesting and progressive people. I’ve also seen far too many talented people what I would call ...
Views: 942 - Get Proactive Or Face The Consequences - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2008 from H. Les BrownI'm putting out a warning call that the wise (especially wise men) will want to pay attention to: get proactive about midlife or face the consequences. For almost 20 years, author Stephen R. Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) has been trying to convince people that taking a ...
Views: 914 - Xenophobia And You - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2008 from H. Les Brown"Xenophobe: A person unduly fearful or contemptuous of that which is foreign, especially of strangers or foreign peoples" [Wikipedia]. Regardless of where you fall personal on the spectrum of political opinion, you have to be at least a little awestruck at the recent US presidential election. ...
Views: 991 - Do You Know? What's The Difference Between Just A Job And A Vocation?!! - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2008 from Craig NathansonIt seems all the news is bad these days — jobs are being lost; retirement is in jeopardy for millions — and no end in sight! But did you know? This is good news for those over 40! Sometimes we need a crisis to finally make positive changes in our lives. When it comes to changing ...
Views: 1031 - Circle Of Influence Vs Circle Of Concern - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownIn the middle of his chapter on his first habit ("Be Proactive"), Dr. Stephen R. Covey, in his famous Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, lays out two circles: the outer circle being your circle of concern, the inner circle representing your circle of influence. His point is that we are ...
Views: 6578(1 vote) - Willpower, The Only Cure For Gravity - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownI have a confession to make: as I get older, taking care of myself becomes more and more of a chore. Additionally, as andropause continues to take its toll, bodily maintenance keeps looking more and more like an uphill (and losing) battle. Add that to the cultural expectations that tell us men ...
Views: 1047 - Living Life On Life's Terms - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2008 from H. Les BrownOn last night's internet radio program, I interviewed rock musician and author, Steve Mayfield, about his new album and book, Afterlife Crisis. One of the principle themes (that became a song on his album) was that, even when we've gotten through the midlife transition, we still can't find a ...
Views: 1005 - The Scariest Hallowe'en Ever - by Submitted on Oct 27, 2008 from H. Les BrownSaturday was the first (and the biggest) costume party of the Halloween season around here. I went as the scariest thing I could think of: the New York Stock Exchange. Sadly, I didn't win the 'Scariest Costume' prize . . . I lost out to a store-bought devil. I'm not sure whether this particular ...
Views: 975 - The Other Side Of The Mountain - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust because I've made it "over the hill" doesn't necessarily mean that it's smooth sailing from now on. As a matter of fact, think back to when you were a teenager still walking riding your bike everywhere you wanted to go. Couldn't you just taste the freedom and all the possibilities that were ...
Views: 1149 - Living a Life of Regret - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2008 from H. Les BrownEmily Dickinson wrote, "Remorse is cureless, the disease not even God can heal." 'Remorse' arises as a sorrow for past decisions that you've made, while 'regret' serves as a broader, more useful term, describing a wish that you'd made other choices in the past: choices either to avoid doing ...
Views: 2326 - Finding Peace With Yourself - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownI do spend some time with what I call the 'Education Section' of the Washington Post every morning. Everyone else may refer to it as the 'Style Section', but to me it'll always be the 'Education Section.' That's where I get my daily dose of wisdom from the comics (don't be mistaken: they're not, ...
Views: 1959 - I Can't Get No . . . Satisfaction - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe three emotional characteristics that most clearly define a man in midlife are 'restless', 'irritable' and 'discontent'. No wonder they 'can't get no satisfaction'! There's quite a significant difference between the ways that men and women deal with this bucket of emotional pain: women ...
Views: 786 - Sorry, Guys - Time's Up! - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2008 from H. Les BrownYou know what they say: "Time and tide wait for no man." And, you know, they're right. Time's up, guys! Tide's gone out, and there's not enough water left to float your boat. For the past four months, I've been focusing my energies on addressing the single most critical time in a person's life ...
Views: 716 - Sounding the Emotional Depths - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe know one thing for certain regarding midlife: it's an emotional maelstrom. The principal difference between your reactions to the emotions that you experience during the midlife transition and the ones you endured during puberty lies in the fact that you're so much more adept at finding ...
Views: 810 - Detecting the Deadly Detour - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust a couple of days ago, our family interred my uncle at Arlington National Cemetery will full military honors. He was an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel who once served in the Pentagon under Robert McNamara during the Kennedy-Johnson administrations. He was quite a brilliant and accomplished ...
Views: 815 - Why Men Get Lost In The Clouds - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust before we moved from Connecticut to Delaware (where we now live), I was only about a month away from earning my instrument rating on my private pilot's license. From everything I've heard, the instrument rating is the most difficult rating for a private pilot to achieve. If I were to ...
Views: 969 - Life Is Change (Stagnation Equals Death) - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe humans have a morbid fascination with security. What's this all about? As you look more closely at how we define 'security' for ourselves, you can begin to learn what it is you really mean when you say that you're working to provide a secure future for your family. Doesn't it mean that you ...
Views: 976 - When Your Clock Strikes Midnight - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2008 from H. Les BrownWhat happens when your clock strikes twelve? There's no fairy godmother, no pumpkin coach or coachmen, no ball gown or glass slippers, no Prince Charming. Nothing left but some very hard work. Everybody's clock hits midnight once in a while. When it does, especially when you're in the midst of ...
Views: 894 - Statistics, Setbacks and Self-Esteem - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2008 from H. Les BrownIt sure seems like when a guy hits middle age, it all hits the fan — and all at once. You know what they say: 'feelings aren't facts', but it certainly seems that way, doesn't it? At the same time, many people don't count on how statistics conspire together to make you the target of ...
Views: 1361 - Your Life in the Balance - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2008 from H. Les BrownDid you ever see the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep? The movie begins with hapless Daniel (Brooks) meeting an untimely end and appearing at the judgment with other recently deceased, among whom is young Julia (Streep). They fall in love. Daniel has to defend ...
Views: 943 - Looking Into The Heart Of The Beast - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2008 from H. Les BrownYou know, there's one thing I can say for being an expert in midlife: when an emotional crisis sneaks up from behind you and pounces on your back, you know the material well enough that you can identify the beast before it takes too bad of a bite out of you. Even if you can't figure out in the ...
Views: 717 - How To Become A Programmer - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2008 from Kingsley TagboIn this article I will show you how to become a programmer without going to college. You can learn computer programming in your own home and begin an entry level programming job. College is a wise choice, but if you cannot afford to spend a lot of time in college before you begin your software ...
Views: 2752 - The World's Having A Male Midlife Crisis - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf I didn't know better (but I'm not sure that I do), I'd say the world was having a midlife crisis. Whether it's about half-way through it's life span, I don't know; but I do think that it's behaving just like a middle-aged guy. As I read my morning Washington Post today — with one eye ...
Views: 1146 - Don't Confuse Me With The Facts! - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2008 from H. Les BrownThere are (among other things) at least two features that we guys are famous for: not asking for directions, and never reading the instructions before assembling a new 'toy'. That describes me fairly well. I remember driving through the maze of streets in Salerno, Italy, trying to get to the ...
Views: 728 - Over 40? Economic crisis: what to do about it RIGHT NOW - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2008 from Craig NathansonNot since the great depression of 1929 have we seen such a financial crisis, and frankly, the lack of national leadership that we are experiencing now. Banks are failing overnight, Wall Street greed and the chase after quick money has finally caused this country to grind to a financial halt. All ...
Views: 854 - Mom, Is That You? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2008 from Natalie Tucker MillerAfter spending several days hanging out with my eighty-nine-year-old mother, she was quite pooped and in a deep sleep when I arrived at the nursing home the next morning. My sister, Sharon, and I checked in on her periodically. Later in the morning, Sharon announced that mom was awake, and ...
Views: 1323 - Could It Be Male Menopause? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownI'd like to remind you about the function of hormones in the human body. Some people unfortunately underestimate their function and importance. Hormones are the chemical messengers that control the operation of all the body's systems. You could liken them to the way a television signal causes ...
Views: 771 - Recognize Your Emotional Sleight-of-Hand - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor a couple of years, my partner had to have periodic allergic desensitization shots. He found it very unhandy to administer the shots to himself, so he enlisted my help. I became his unofficial shot-giver. Although I'd never done anything like that before, I followed instructions, practiced ...
Views: 856 - Anger - The Hidden 'Gotcha' Of Midlife - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor the uninitiated, the midlife crisis seems inexplicable. Why would someone who should be really happy behave so erratically? There's the key, though: they should be really happy . . . but they're not! Even those closest to the midlife sufferer are apt to be shocked and confused because ...
Views: 800 - Facing The Financial Crunch - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2008 from H. Les BrownEconomist and Washington Post columnist Steven Pearlstein wrote this morning that most of those who are in charge of the governing of the world's economy just don't 'get it:' they've underestimated the severity of the economic crisis that's in the process of swallowing up the world's financial ...
Views: 858 - The Young Adult And The Ostrich - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2008 from H. Les BrownOnce upon a time, there was a man. Although he was still young, he was an extraordinary man in many ways. Yet, in spite of his many talents and successes, he was very much like the other men of his age: he didn't want to hear bad news. So, he did the same things he saw all the other men around ...
Views: 746 - The (Aging) Parent Trap - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2008 from H. Les Brown"Nothing's certain but death and taxes," they say. I have to ask, "What's so certain about death and taxes?" The only certitude that we really have is that stuff will happen: some of it enjoyable, some of it painful, some of it avoidable, most of it not. There's an aspect of midlife that becomes ...
Views: 737 - Exit Plan Or Shot In The Dark? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownAbout fifteen years ago, I was unemployed for about six months. To be honest, it wasn't exactly my finest hour. I had plenty of speaking and counseling experience (from my time in the ministry), but I had no 'official' training nor a license to practice. I had experience in tech writing and ...
Views: 910 - Tell Me, What Does It All Mean? - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownWould you like to know what the essence and the root cause of the midlife crisis is? Would you like me to let you in on the Big Secret? Actually, it's not really a secret at all, but it is BIG. The infamous midlife crisis is nothing more (and nothing less) than a crisis in meaning. My personal ...
Views: 931 - How Not To Beat Yourself Up - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2008 from H. Les BrownI want to open by complementing you on your sense of responsibility. I know that I'm talking to the right person, because anyone who is concerned enough about midlife issues to be reading about it has to have a well-developed sense of responsibility and concern for their own (and their loved ...
Views: 2922 - Vision Correction As A Metaphor For Midlife - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownYesterday I went for my biennial eye exam. I had all the drops and the blinding equipment scanning my cornea and retina. I read the charts so often that I had the bottom line memorized by the time I was finished: O V T C Z 2. Naturally, my eyes were a little worse than they were two years ago, a ...
Views: 896 - 57% Of Layoffs Occur In Middle Age - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2008 from H. Les Brown23255031Even though the information (from the Center for Research on Organizational & Managerial Excellence) may be a little dated, the basic truth behind the facts reported in a 2003 survey from Texas remain very relevant. If you're between 30 and 50, you have an almost 60% chance of being ...
Views: 886 - The Threat Of Abundance - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2008 from H. Les BrownI am a very fortunate guy . . . I really should say that I'm extremely blessed. I live in a modest but lovely home in a summer resort one mile from a beautiful beach. I'm have a relationship that's stable and loving with a level of communication and mutual appreciation and understanding that's ...
Views: 729