Your Four Types of Love

Often we’re so blinded by our emotions that we can’t decipher the true purpose of a relationship. Deep attachment can force us to stay in a relationship that was meant to end a long time ago. On the other hand, our stubborn will and uncompromising ego can make us leave a person who might be our soulmate. We ask ourselves, “Why is this person in my life? Is it really meant to be?” In such confusing moments, we must turn inward for the truth.

There exist four types of love relationships, each serving a unique purpose to our evolution. We may experience only one kind of relationship throughout our lives, or we may move through the full range of four. Reflect on the elements of each type of relationship to discover where your love really stands:

Transitory
A transitory relationship acts as a bridge between two phases of evolution, enacting change or easing the burden of major life shifts. For example, such a relationship can help a girl transition into a woman by teaching her important first lessons in love. Or, a transient relationship may help a person cope with separation, loss, or divorce until he or she heals and feels ready to embark on new, long-term love.

Transitory relationships are marked by desire, physical chemistry, excitement, and adventure, but they lack commitment and authentic love. Instead, they mostly involve a love of the five senses. Such relationships often commence when a person is feeling vulnerable or right after a serious relationship has ended. The partners in this kind relationship generally don’t become too attached and can let go of each other without much trouble. No serious sacrifices or advancements are being made in a transitory relationship, which soon reaches a plateau it can't get past. This type of relationship is almost always temporary, but serves a greater purpose in gently pushing someone from one chapter of life to the next. Once the person evolves, however, the relationship usually fizzles out and is left behind.

If you find yourself in a transient relationship, know that it is necessary but only for the time being. Unless genuine emotions develop, your relationship will come to a close in the right moment. Don't expect devotion and undying loyalty or you'll quickly become disappointed. Simply allow it to run its predestined course. Try not to stress or overthink things; Just have fun! This is your time to enjoy yourself, your partner, and the world around you, until a better opportunity is placed in your path.

Compromise
A compromise relationship is the most common of the four types. It occurs when two people come together based on an arrangement of comfort, such as financial stability or social standing. Many relationships that are meant to end continue because both partners have become so used to each other that they find it difficult to part ways.

In short, they settle for one other. They may share a house and have children, which makes them feel obliged to stay together despite the fact that they don't feel fulfilled or fully in love. Relationships based on compromise keep us stuck in a comfort zone. It’s important to evaluate whether you’re truly happy with your partner, or merely comfortable.

Being in a compromise relationship can become stultifying and downright boring; Most result in one or both partners straying outside of the relationship for romance, excitement, and love. In the end, half also result in divorce or separation, simply because the perks of comfort can't compare to having a genuine connection. In my practice, I often hear my patients declare that their spouse is a great parent to their children and a great provider for their family, but that they know deep down their relationship is a compromise. They can feel the truth in their hearts but dismiss their intuition. The biggest problem in compromise relationships is that one or both partners may not feel completely satisfied.

This type of a relationship can still be complementary, but more in terms of advancing in the physical world: generating income together, buying properties, raising a family in harmony, etc. Each partner follows a specific role and contributes to the success of the couple's mutual goals. In terms of a relationship that's based on such arrangement, it becomes the free will of each partner whether to remain together or separate. I’ve seen compromise relationships that have lasted a lifetime because neither partner wanted to let go of the other, and that's perfectly fine.

If you find yourself in a compromise relationship, know that the decision to stay or to go is your own. If you crave a love that will nourish you deeply and wholly, you owe it to yourself to seek your soulmate (yes, we each have one!). No matter how comfortable you are or what you've gained in the material sense, it is your birthright to give and receive unconditional love.

Karmic
Karma is the greatest law of the universe. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not some malicious force that brings our bad deeds back to us. Karma is the memory of every one of our thoughts, intentions, and actions, both good and bad. And it has a reputation for repeating itself, especially in our love life: A karmic bond always involves some sort of “action” that must play out within the relationship, such as the breaking of behavioral patterns or cycles of events. This type of relationship denotes past lives shared by the two partners, hence the strong feeling of familiarity or “knowing” this person from somewhere. Two souls that have passed through certain experiences together will find each other again to close what was left open.

A karmic relationship is almost always described as intense: When it’s good it’s great, when it’s bad it’s awful! But there’s instant magnetism from the beginning; The person is simply irresistible to you. The relationship may be prone to arguments as the two old souls try to find solutions to old problems. There may also be a deep-seated desire to be dutiful or sacrificial for your partner, sensing the need to work towards a higher purpose. Regardless, those in a karmic relationship are guaranteed to learn a lot of necessary lessons, both as a couple and as individuals.

After the karma is settled, however, the relationship may come to an end because its role has been fulfilled. Sometimes karmic partners can also be soulmates. If they are, the relationship will endure beyond the completion of the karma. Karmic relationships are enriching experiences that can be progressive, enlightening, and complementary, whether temporary or for the long term.

If you find yourself in a karmic relationship, you have attracted a soul you knew before. Try to pinpoint the reason why this person is in your life once more: What is it that you must resolve, enact, or change in yourself, in each other, or with each other? For example, maybe your partner hurt you in a past life and now he or she must make it up to you by helping you in other ways. Or, maybe you had a family with this person in a previous lifetime and you’ve reunited to start a family again. Karmic relationships are powerful and passionate and can be tremendously positive once you understand the divine nature of your karma.

Soulmate
A soulmate relationship is a unique bond reaching deeper than physical or emotional levels. Soulmate relationships are far and few but when they do occur, they often last the test of time. This kind of relationship is marked by a profound connection between two people, one that may even be difficult to convey. Soulmates just get each other: They finish each other’s sentences, are best friends, and share a mentality of "us against the world." When soulmates have found each other, the feeling is likened to two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together. Soulmates can't wait to come home to each other after a long day and they may even be linked telepathically, one partner sensing what the other feels/needs/fears at all times. They can both work and play together because of how well they complement each other; One elevates the other in thought, potential, and ability.

This is not to say that soulmates won’t experience problems along the course of their relationship, but that they’ll be able to resolve their issues more easily than couples who aren’t bound by soulful ties. Very few things in this world can break up two soulmates because their connection is otherworldly. Soulmates may also have some mutual karma to work on, but unlike in a karmic relationship, they won’t separate once their karmic business is finished.

If you find yourself in a soulmate relationship, congratulations! This is the purest, highest, most unconditional type of relationship. Be proud, because many people wish they could meet their heart’s other half. Be as involved in your relationship as possible and dismiss insignificant problems from the outside world. Together, you are a divine force to be reckoned with. Treasure your partner and take joy in every moment by his or her side, knowing that your souls have reunited at last.

It can be difficult to disentangle our emotional knots and understand the core function of a relationship. Detaching ourselves from our feelings just enough to assess the authenticity of our relationship can make a world of a difference in the quality of love we give and gain.

To your type love,
Carmen Harra