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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- “Until You Make The Unconscious Conscious, It Will Direct Your Life And You Will Call It Fate” - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world, it is typically as though someone begins and ends with their conscious mind. Not only this, it is as though what is taking place inside their inner world has very little if any effect on their outer world. When it comes to the self-development world, however, it is often ...
Views: 308 - Early Deprivation: Does Someone Engage In Repetition Compulsion To Avoid Their Emotional Truth? - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were able to step back and reflect on their life, is that they continually end up in situations where they feel unloved, unwanted and even invisible. Now, this could mean that they have had a number of relationships that have been anything but fulfilling. But, ...
Views: 233 - Child Abuse: Can Someone Carry A Lot Of Hurt If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone can be carrying a lot of pain, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. The reason for this is that their brain can generally keep this pain out of their conscious awareness. Along with this, there can be a number of things that they will do, secondary defences, to keep ...
Views: 238 - Emotionally Shut Down: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Be An Unfeeling Human Being? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperThroughout someone’s early years, they may have been hurt by one or both of their parents. This may have meant that they were abused in a variety of different ways and were neglected, which would have deprived them of the love that they needed. But, as they were powerless and totally ...
Views: 304 - False Self: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Believe That They Need To Hide Themselves To Survive? - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was able to step back and reflect on how they typically experience life, what may soon stand out is that they automatically hide a number of their needs and feelings. As a result of this, what is really going on for them is going to be covered up. This is going to mean that they ...
Views: 206 - Fame: Can Early Deprivation Give Someone The Need To Be Famous? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperNowadays, it is not uncommon for someone to have a strong need to be known by a lot of people. Thanks, in a part, to modern-day technology, there is a myriad of different ways in which someone can achieve this goal. However, in the past being known by a lot of people was largely seen as ...
Views: 286 - Fight Instinct: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Lose Touch With Their Fight Instinct? - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn order for someone to both survive and thrive, it will be essential for them to have the ability to stand up for themselves and make it clear when something isn’t acceptable. This will allow them to protect their physical, mental and emotional self. There will be moments when they will need ...
Views: 257 - Pedestalization: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Put Others On A Pedestal? - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was able to step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that they have the tendency to elevate others. As a result of this, seeing another person as more knowing, more powerful and more capable will be normal. They are then going to be at one level and the average ...
Views: 257 - Drive: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Be Extremely Driven? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone is highly motivated, there is a strong chance that they will be used to receiving a lot of positive feedback from others. They can often be seen as living in the right way and even having high self-esteem. The reason for this is that in today’s world, being motivated is often seen ...
Views: 242 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man Imprisoned By His Own Lack Of Development? - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man was brought up to be there for his mother and to take care of a number of her needs, it probably wouldn’t have occurred to her that he was an individual who had his own needs and, over time, his own life to lead. Of course, when he was born, it is likely to have occurred to her that he ...
Views: 219 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man Imprisoned By His Own Lack Of Development? - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man was brought up to be there for his mother and to take care of a number of her needs, it probably wouldn’t have occurred to her that he was an individual who had his own needs and, over time, his own life to lead. Of course, when he was born, it is likely to have occurred to her that he ...
Views: 267 - False Self: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Create A Fearful False Self? - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone can live in an environment that is relatively safe and be free to express themselves, it doesn’t mean that they will feel safe or freely express themselves. Still, this might not be something that they are consciously aware of. If they are not consciously aware of what is ...
Views: 273 - Being Seen: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Associate Being Seen With Being Humiliated? - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone will have the need to be seen, it doesn’t mean that they will feel comfortable being seen. This might be something that they are not consciously aware of or this might not be the case. If this is something that they are not consciously aware of, they could often feel ignored ...
Views: 252 - Shut Down: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be In A Shut Down State? - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn order to truly embrace life, someone will need to have a strong connection with their body and be able to feel. By having this connection and this ability, they will be able to take life in and receive. However, although being this way will be essential when it comes to living a fulfilling ...
Views: 262 - Child Abuse: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Feel Deeply Vulnerable? - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to spend a lot of time by themselves, away from others. When they are by themselves, they could typically feel comfortable and at ease. This can also be a time when they will be connected to what is taking place inside them, too. When they are around others, ...
Views: 239 - Mother Wounds: Why Would A Mother Emasculate Her Son? - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat a man could find, if he was to reflect on his life, is that he is more like a wolf that has been domesticated than a wolf that lives in the wild. To go even further, he could think about how he has the tendency to be passive, feel low and be a people pleaser and finds it hard to stand his ...
Views: 300 - Child Abuse: Can A Parent Be Too Out Of Touch With Reality To Acknowledge That They Were Abusive? - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone may have been abused by one or both of their parents during their formative years, it doesn’t mean that they have spoken to them about it. For so long, they might not have felt comfortable talking to them about what happened. If they were to imagine how they would like it ...
Views: 272 - Developmental Trauma: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Believe That There is Not Enough? - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was able to step back and reflect on how they experience life, what may soon stand out is that they often struggle when it comes to having enough. What could enter their mind is that they rarely have enough money. After taking a closer look, though, they may find that there is far ...
Views: 245 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Need To See His Mother As Just Another Person? - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhile a man whose whole life practically revolves around his mother is likely to have other family members, these people are not going to receive the same amount of attention. And, even if he only has one other family member, this is still going to be the case. His mother is then going to be ...
Views: 235 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man An Example Of How Alienated A Human Being Can Be From Themselves? - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn order for a man to express himself and live a life that is worth living, he will need to be connected to himself. This will involve him not only being connected to what is taking place in his mind but also to what is taking place in his body. His body is, after all, the seat of his true ...
Views: 283 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Focus On His Mother To Keep His Pain At Bay? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen a man is overly focused on his mother, from the outside, it might appear as though he is choosing to live in this way. In general, he could create the impression that he is happy to be there for his mother and that he loves her. Consequently, it might not be uncommon for people to say ...
Views: 269 - Projection: Will Someone’s Past Be Projected Onto The Present If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperNow that someone is an adult, what took place during their formative years could be something that they have more or less forgotten about. If this was a stage of their life that was somewhat nurturing, it could be said that this won’t be a problem. However, if this stage of their life was ...
Views: 494 - Repression: Can It Be Hard For Someone To Accept They Are Carrying Repressed Pain If They Are In A Repressed State? - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that could cause someone to reach out for support is if they suffer from anxiety and/or often feel low. They could soon read or be told, depending on what approach they take, is that they need to look into and change what is taking place in their mind. What is going on up top, so to ...
Views: 253 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Need To Realise That His Life Is Important? - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man’s whole life practically revolves around his mother, it is going to be clear that he has a number of beliefs that are not serving him. Most likely, these will be beliefs that are just outside of his conscious awareness. As a result of this, he won’t realise that what he believes is ...
Views: 231 - “What’s Wrong With You?!” - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen I was out the other day, I ended up hearing a child scream whilst I was reading a book. The child, along with both of their parents, was right behind me so I couldn’t help but hear. At first, I started to wonder when the noise would stop as I was finding it hard to concentrate. Sooner or ...
Views: 288 - Alone: Can Someone Feel Deeply Alone If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat could be normal is for someone to either feel alone or to be out of touch with how they feel and not feel anything. This could mean that they will spend a lot of time by themselves. Alternatively, they could spend a lot of time around others and not a great deal of time by themselves. ...
Views: 282 - Love: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Disconnect From Their Need For Love? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone is likely to be born with the need to both receive and give love, it doesn’t mean that they will be in touch with these needs now that they are an adult. In fact, they could be unaware of both of these needs. However, even if they are not aware of these needs, a lot of what ...
Views: 310 - The Power Of Perspective - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperThe other day, when I was on my way home after having caught up with a friend, I decided to walk a different route home. This was a road that I hadn’t been down for years and I had only been along the road whilst in a car. As I hadn’t been along this road for so long, I wasn’t completely sure ...
Views: 444 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Need To Reconnect With His Personal Reality? - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can stand out for someone who has come into contact with a man who is overly focused on his mother is that he is too caught up in his mother’s life. They will then be able to see that he needs to start focusing on his own life. This is not to say that they will believe that he needs to ...
Views: 290 - True Self: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone’s True Self To Withdraw? - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to feel as though they are simply going through the motions in life. They are then not going to have a strong desire to be here and this can be evident when it comes to how they live their life. When it comes to what they do each week, this could typically ...
Views: 314 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Expect Women To Behave Negatively If He Had An Abusive Mother? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhile a man’s early years will be well and truly behind him, it doesn’t mean that how he was treated during this stage of his life won’t have had a lasting impact on him. However, due to his brain’s ability to repress both pain and memories, he might not remember a great deal about what took ...
Views: 298 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Fear What Has Already Taken Place? - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAfter having recently experienced something that has enabled him to see clearly, a man who is overly focused on his mother may now feel a strong need to live his own life. At this point, he could wonder why it has taken him so long to see clearly. Then again, he could look back and see that ...
Views: 262 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man Too Underdeveloped To Break Away From His Mother? - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperNow, if a man is overly focused on his mother and unable to live his own life, this could be something that baffles him. He could struggle to understand why he is so focused on her and so neglectful towards himself. In general, he could feel as though she has complete control over him and ...
Views: 273 - Trust: Can Someone Find It Hard To Trust If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn general, someone could find that they have the need to keep people at arm’s length, preferring not to get too close to them. They could find that this is how they have been for as long as they can remember. By being this way, they are unlikely to share a great deal about themselves. When ...
Views: 330 - Mother-Enmeshed Man: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Realise That He Is Neglecting Himself? - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that someone could find strange, if they were to spend a fair amount of time around a mother-enmeshed man, is that he is not aware that he is neglecting himself. So, they might have asked him why he is not taking care of a number of his needs and he might have dismissed what they ...
Views: 286 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Have A Negative View Of Himself If He Had An Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperA man is going to be only too aware that his physical body was created and birthed by his mother, but it might not occur to him that his self-image was largely created and birthed birth by her too. One reason for this is that he might not even think about how he sees himself. But, even if he ...
Views: 288 - What Are You Focusing On? Where Is Your Energy Going? What Are You Creating? - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperFrom the moment that someone wakes up until the moment they fall asleep, their attention will be on all kinds of things. And, it could be said that even when they are asleep, their attention can still be on different things thanks to the dreams that they may have. When they are awake, they ...
Views: 351 - Child Abuse: Can It Be Hard For Someone To Accept That They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was abused during their development years, it could take many, many years before they actually realise this. This could seem strange; especially as these early experiences will have had an effect on them. How much of an impact this stage will have had on them is likely to depend on ...
Views: 419 - True Self: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Lose Touch With Their True Self? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperOn one side, there is information outside of someone, and, on the other, there is information inside them. However, if they don’t have a strong connection with their body, they are going to have limited access to the information inside them. In general, then, a number of their needs and ...
Views: 295 - Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Deprive Themselves As An Adult? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to step back and reflect on their life, what they may soon find is that a number of their needs are rarely if ever met. So, while their basic needs might typically be met, this won’t be the case when it comes to their other needs. In general, then, they are not going to have ...
Views: 392 - Self-Ownership: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Feel Like Other People’s Possession? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone is the owner of their own body and mind, it doesn’t mean that they will know this at the core of their being. At this level, they can see themselves as nothing more than an object that other people have control over. They are then going to have their own body and mind but it ...
Views: 455 - Love: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Believe That They Need To Earn Love? - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperDuring someone’s developmental years, they needed love to grow and develop and, as an adult, they also need love in order to be at their best. However, although they will need love as an adult, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this need. But, even if they are not aware ...
Views: 289 - Individuation: Can Developmental Trauma Cause To Feel Comfortable Being An Extension Of Others? - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone acts as though they are an extension of others, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. Furthermore, even if they were to become aware of this, it doesn’t mean that they would be able to simply change their behaviour. Through being in this position, ...
Views: 307 - Child Abuse: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone See Themselves As An Extension Of Others? - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIn order for someone to act like an individual as an adult, who has their own needs and feelings, they will have needed to have had a childhood that was at least somewhat nurturing. The reason for this is that they wouldn’t have felt like an individual when they were born; this was a sense that ...
Views: 287 - Child Abuse: Is Someone Engaging In Repetition Compulsion If They Are Looking For Their Abusive Parents To See Them? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone grew up with at least one parent who was unable to truly see them, they are likely to have a strong need to be seen now that they are an adult. In addition to this need, though, they can also have a fear of being seen. When it comes to their need to be seen, this will relate to ...
Views: 260 - Mother Wounds: Does A Man Re-experience The Issues That He Had With His Mother When He’s In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is currently in a relationship, he could be with a woman who is often cold, distant and dismissive of his feelings. As a result of this, he could often feel angry and even hateful and low, invisible and worthless. Now, this might not be the first time he has been with a woman like ...
Views: 760 - Energy: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Give Their Energy To Others? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone will have their own life to lead, it doesn’t mean that it will be normal for them to focus on their own life. What could be normal is for them to spend a lot of time doing things for others. Not only this, but when they are not doing things for others, they could spend a ...
Views: 300 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man Giving His Mother His Energy? - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is often doing things for his mother, it will mean that a lot of his time and attention will be spent on her. As a result of this, she is going to receive a lot of his life force or energy. Naturally, the energy that he directs towards his mother is going to be energy that he won’t ...
Views: 430 - Helpless State: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be In A Helpless State? - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to feel helpless and as though they are unable to do anything. However, even though this is how they can generally feel and perceive life, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. As a result of this, being this way is going to prevent ...
Views: 290 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Was A Mother-Enmeshed Mans Father Also Enmeshed? - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is seen as a ‘mother-enmeshed man’, it is not going to be a surprise for someone to come to the conclusion that he is this way due to how his mother treated him. Therefore, if his mother had treated him differently during his formative years and treated him differently now, he would be ...
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