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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Aloof Behaviour: What Causes It? - by Submitted on Jun 08, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThis is an area I have been reflecting on for many years, pondering and asking myself why such behaviour exists. And with my recent expression through writing, felt it was time to talk about this interesting and often confusing area of behaviour. So here, based on my experience and ...
Views: 31445 - Self Worth: Why Do Some People Always Try To Impress Others? - by Submitted on May 11, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperAs human beings, it is normal to want to look good, to give things, and to experience success for example. And yet, it is also possible for one to engage in each of these things just to impress others. To do this from time to time could be described as normal, but if one was to do this as a ...
Views: 28202 - Boundaries: Why Do Some People Build Walls Around Themselves? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor some people, the term walls may bring up associations to do with the physical walls of a house or walls that divide one garden from another. However, the walls that this article will look into are not physical walls. They are not visible to the eye and yet this doesn’t mean that the impact ...
Views: 27715 - Selfless: Why Do Some People Always Put Others First? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperPeople who put others first are often revered and are seen as an example of how to live. The fact that they appear to always put others first, is what makes them different to people who appear to always put themselves first. This could be to do with helping a friend, partner or colleague at a ...
Views: 25810 - Validation: Why Do Some People Always Need Validation From Others? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIf human beings were independent, it wouldn’t matter if other people validated them or not. They would be their own island and they would be able to give themselves all the validation they needed. But as human beings are interdependent, it means that they need to be validated by others. ...
Views: 24777 - Mother Enmeshed Men: What Causes It? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to understanding what enmeshment is, it helps to look at what boundaries are. Boundaries are what create a sense of individuality between people. And although we are all physically separate, it does not mean that we are emotionally separate from another person. This becomes what ...
Views: 23858(2 votes) - Controlling Relationships: Why Are Some Men Controlling? - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperA common relationship problem in today’s world and one that has been around for many years is control. The form that this behaviour takes may have changed over the ages, but the results are still the same. What is also clear to see is that both men and women can be controlling. However, here ...
Views: 18857 - Attention Seeking Behaviour: What Causes it? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperTo be acknowledged, mirrored and validated are psychological needs that we all have. This is a perfectly normal and natural part of being human and something that is vital for mental and emotionally stability. And like most things in life, there can be extremes and when this healthy requirement ...
Views: 17245 - Invisible: Why Do Some People Feel Invisible? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to feelings, there can often be a disparity between how one feels and how something actually is. And feeling invisible is the perfect example of this. Part of being human is to have a physical body and yet at an emotional level, one can feel that this is not the case. One can ...
Views: 16698 - Fame: Why Do Some People Want To Be Famous? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s world fame is not merely seen as a by-product or as a consequence of achieving something; fame is pursued directly and as a goal in and of itself. With there being numerous examples of people who place fame as the ultimate achievement in life and above anything else; it might seem ...
Views: 16222 - Controlling Behaviour: What Causes It? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperControlling behaviour is surely one of the more common ‘negative’ behaviours in the world today. And if one was to reflect upon human history they would find that this kind of behaviour is neither new nor different to the behaviour of the past. The severity of this behaviour varies - from ...
Views: 15858 - Self Worth: Why Do Some People Always Need To Be Better Than Others? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperBehind the desire to achieve and to have more can be the need for someone to fulfil their own wants and needs. And other people are also going to provide inspiration. No one is their own island and it is only natural that other people are going to play a part in what one does or doesn’t do ...
Views: 14330(1 vote) - Abuse: Why Do Some People Always Put Others Down? - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperAs a human being, one has the ability to lift others up and make their life easier, or they can pull others down and make their life harder. There are going to be some people who generally fit into the first category and then there will be others who generally fit into to the second ...
Views: 14272 - Celebrities: Why Are Some People Obsessed With Celebrities? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor some time I have been reflecting on and thinking about what causes the obsession with celebrities. So here is my current outlook on what I believe is going on. Today's Society In today's society celebrities are often worshiped and are objects of obsession for many people. And it ...
Views: 13565 - Ego Boundaries: What Are Ego Boundaries? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe purpose of ego boundaries is to protect the self. And through having these in place, one will know the difference between who they are and who someone else is. They allow for ones inner space to be protected and looked after. These are not visible to the naked eye like a physical body ...
Views: 13506 - Entitlement Mentality: What Created It? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn today’s society there is a common mentality and this mentality is often called - The Entitlement Mentality. On the dictionary.com website this is described as: The fact of having a right to something and the amount to which a person has a right. So what this means is that one has the right ...
Views: 13172 - Compliments: Why Can’t Some People Accept Compliments? - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to compliments there are some people who can accept them gracefully and others who completely reject them. It may be that one rejects all compliments or only compliments that come from certain people. This can relate to men who reject all compliments from women or women who ...
Views: 12492 - Power: Why Do Some People Feel Powerless? - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThe power that I am talking about here is personal power. And this is more about the power that one has over oneself than it is about having power over others. Another term that is often used for this is self control. And although having power can lead to having influence over others, this is ...
Views: 12310 - Relationships: Why Do Some Men Need A Women’s Approval? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhile a certain amount of approval seeking is part of relationships; when it is out of control and taken to the extreme, it can create dysfunctional consequences and unnecessary pain. And when this happens, a man’s mental and emotional wellbeing is going to suffer. However, in order for a man ...
Views: 11944 - Relationships: Why Do Some Men Pull Away After Sex? - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen two people come together with the intention of having a relationship or just the desire to spend time together, it is generally going to lead to them having sex. And this could be something that both of them equally want to experience or something that one of them is more attached to than ...
Views: 11893 - Brands: Why Are Some People Obsessed With Brands? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWe live in a time where brands are everywhere and there is more or less a brand for everything. From branded water; to branded clothes and anything else that one could imagine. Part of the brand experience is that it creates sense of trust for people; that they can rely on the brand to ...
Views: 11558(1 vote) - Emotional Masks: What Is An Emotional Mask? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word mask is described as: an object normally worn on the face, typically for protection, disguise, performance or entertainment. Emotional Mask However, the mask that I am talking about here is an emotional mask. This can effect: how one sees themselves in the mirror; how one believes ...
Views: 11261 - Relationships: Why Do Some People Feel Smothered In A Relationship? - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough one can have the desire to be in an intimate relationship with someone, it doesn’t mean that this feels comfortable. In their mind this could be what they want and yet when it comes to making this a reality, it doesn’t feel right. What feels right is for them to stay away from ...
Views: 11112 - Self Image: Why Do Some People Take Things Personally? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are people who take just about everything personally and this doesn’t have to be the words that other people say. It could relate to how another person looks at them and what one experiences in the world around them. This can also relate to specific situations where one is being given ...
Views: 10826(1 vote) - Relationships: Why Are Some Men Needy? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are many descriptions that can be used when it comes to how one goes about getting their needs met. While some are called needy, others are often called needless. However, no matter how one is described: what is clear is that everyone has needs. To be human means that we have needs. And ...
Views: 10622 - Emotions: Why Do Some People Hide Their Emotions? - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt is often said that women show how they feel and men keep their feelings to themselves. And this is surely going to apply to some men and women, but not all of them. It is simply a generalisation and one that allows people to navigate their world more easily. One reason why it is this way ...
Views: 10611 - Anger: Why Do Some People Feel Guilty For Being Angry? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperThere are going to be people who feel comfortable expressing every emotion on the spectrum and then there are going to be others who are not in the same position. When someone does feel comfortable with their emotions, they are not going to deny how they feel. This will allow them to not ...
Views: 10509 - Boundaries: Why Can't Some People Take No For An Answer? - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2016 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to being successful, it is often said that one shouldn’t take no for an answer and that they should keep going. As if they were to give up after they experience negative response, they are not going to get very far. It is then going to be in their best interest to be ...
Views: 10066 - Emotionally Expressive: How Can Someone Become More Emotionally Expressive? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to how human beings communicate with each other, there are many different aspects involved. During those moments where one is face to face with another, it is not just what comes out of their mouth that matters. If one was talking to someone through text, email or via social ...
Views: 9568 - Emotions: Why Do Some People Feel Uncomfortable With Their Emotions? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to human development, emotions are generally ignored and have been exceeded by other areas. In recent years there has been an intense focus on ones physical side and this has lead to people joining gyms or going for runs for example. And when it comes to ones intellectual side; ...
Views: 9348 - Reactive Behaviour: What Causes Reactive Behaviour? - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWe all have our own style of behaviour and this can change when one is around different people and based on how one feels. As one grows and changes as person; this can also lead to ones behaviour altering. And there will be times when ones behaviour is a response to situations and other times ...
Views: 9182 - Relationships: What Does It Mean When Someone Says They Are Too Busy? - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperJust because someone is available at one point in time, it doesn’t mean that they will continue to be available. There is the chance that they will continue to be around or everything could change, and they may be extremely hard to get hold of. However, without even going into how much ...
Views: 9089 - Ignorance: Is Ignorance Good Or Bad? - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperNo matter how much someone learns in life there are always going to be things they don’t know about. That is part of life and is something that one simply has to accept. That doesn’t mean that learning is therefore futile, if anything, it could feel like a weight has been lifted from ones ...
Views: 9064 - Celebrities: Are Celebrities Good Role Models? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIt is part of human nature to look to others for guidance in how to behave and what is right or wrong for instance. And this is not good or bad; it is just how things are. What can turn it into something dysfunctional and unhealthy is when someone copy’s behaviours and ways of being that are ...
Views: 8861 - Drama: Why Are Some People Addicted To Drama? - by Submitted on May 01, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word 'Drama' is commonly heard and used in today's world. This could be to describe something on TV or in a film. It can also describe what is going on in one's life or the life of another person. Dictionary Meaning And on the dictionary.com website drama is described as: 1. a ...
Views: 8852 - Relationships: Why Do Some People Feel Unlovable? - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperTo have a relationship where one feels a healthy sense of love from another, is one of the most important elements of having a fulfilling relationship. Love can mean different things to different people, but generally this can include: affection, kindness, support, validation, touch, care and ...
Views: 8809 - Success: Why Do Some People Feel Guilty For Being Successful? - by Submitted on May 24, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen people are asked what they want in life they will often say success. And while this can be the case, it doesn’t mean that everyone has the same meaning of what that actually means. There are going to be other people who are already successful and they are probably going to say that they ...
Views: 8659 - Emotionally Needy Parents: What Are Emotionally Needy Parents? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to the psychological development of a child, the needs of the child are of the upmost importance. And not only are they important in the child's journey to becoming a functional adult; as extreme as this sounds, they can also be the difference between whether a child lives or ...
Views: 8654(1 vote) - Relationships: Why Are Some People Emotionally Unavailable? - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone has a relationship with another person, ideally, their body, heart and mind will be shared. This means there will be a physical connection, an emotional sharing and an intellectual exchange. But this doesn’t always take place and this means that one could have a relationship ...
Views: 8463 - Consumerism: What Causes Consumerism? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperOne doesn’t need much awareness to see that consumerism is a big part of the modern day world. And depending on one’s point of view or position, it can be described as either positive of negative. A small company or large business for example, that’s main focus is on selling physical items, ...
Views: 8332 - Emotionally Unavailable Mother: What Are The Consequences Of Having An Emotionally Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile some women want to be mothers and go onto fulfil this need, there are others who have no interest in being a mother. They might end up channelling their nurturing abilities into another area of life instead. However, just because a woman decides to be a mother, it doesn’t mean that she ...
Views: 8236 - Loyalty: Is Being Loyal Good Or Bad? - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperOne of the reasons why people have dogs is because they are loyal companions. And while this is one of their strengths, it can also cause them to be taken advantage of. Yet, even though this can set them up to be treated badly, it doesn’t mean they will simply run away. Instead, a dog is ...
Views: 8142 - Relationships: Why Do Some Men Pull Away When Things Get Serious? - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen a man and a woman first get together it can be going along nicely and as soon as things start to become a little more serious, a man can begin to pull away. This is naturally going to be confusing for the woman and may make no sense whatsoever. And it can depend on how connected the ...
Views: 7987(2 votes) - Racism: What Causes Racism? - by Submitted on May 23, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWe live in a time of extreme exposure and this exposure is no longer limited to the old ways of reporting; where radio, news papers or the Television were the primary ways. There is now Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and many other ways that allow for current events to be exposed and for individuals ...
Views: 7884 - Being Selfish: Is It Bad Thing? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word selfish has all kind of associations, however I’m sure one of the images that comes to mind for most of us, is of the person who only thinks about themselves and is extremely self centred. This person only seems to think about what is in it for them and how it will benefit their own ...
Views: 7851(1 vote) - Superiority Complex: Why Do Some People Think They Are Better Than Others? - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIf one was to watch athletics on TV or at a stadium, they would soon see that not everyone is on the same level. Within each race, there will be some athletes who are at the front and there will be others who nowhere near the front. In this instance, it is clear that some of the athletes are ...
Views: 7837 - Emotional Insecurity: What Are The Signs? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperEmotional security is something that few individuals have and what many would like to have; for the latter, it often seems elusive and hard to come by. And that’s if one has even challenged their instability; for these people it may appear to be how life is and this means that it is often ...
Views: 7766(1 vote) - Enmeshment: What Is Enmeshment? - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe word enmeshment is often used in the world of psychology, therapy and in every day relationships. These could be with family, friends and with intimate relationships. On the en.wiktionary.org website, enmeshment is described as: The state of being enmeshed; entanglement. And if something ...
Views: 7478 - Boundaries: Why Do Some People See Others As Extensions Of Themselves? - by Submitted on Dec 25, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIf one was to take a look at their fellow human beings, it would be clear that they are all separate. They each have their own body and this then goes onto to cover their individual preferences, wants and needs. And as well as this, each person has their own personal reality and an ...
Views: 7366 - Instant Gratification Culture: What Created It? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThe term ‘instant gratification’ is widely known and widely used in today’s society. Having something tomorrow or having to wait any longer than now, is often far too long in today’s culture. Instant gratification can be observed throughout all ages and in numerous situations, it is not ...
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