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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Getting Along with Each Other - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when Palestinian ...
Views: 2391(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why Is My Ex Still Calling Me? - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was dating this guy for about two years. During the time that we were together we had some good times and bad. For one he was cheating on me with another girl then we got back together. During that time we worked hard to make the relationship work then I found out that he ...
Views: 4511(1 vote) - Gentle Persistence - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaHave you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, sternly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, "Asking for What You Want," I explained how to ask cleanly and ...
Views: 2582(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Now That We're Together, Things Have Changed - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been dating this girl for 3 months now but we were talking and going on occasional dates for a good 5 months before we finally made it offical. Now that we are together things have changed. She ignores me when we are around friends and family. When I ask her if she ...
Views: 2110(1 vote) - Dr Romance Video: 3 Tips to Living with Someone instead of Marriage - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2012 from Tina TessinaTo watch the video, click here. It's way too easy, in the throes of a new romance, to decide to live together without considering the problems that might arise. Dr. Romance gives you some things to think about before making the leap, to guarantee success. When dating and getting to know ...
Views: 2738(1 vote) - Friends with Benefits - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaIf you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the sex, the friendship will ...
Views: 2897(1 vote) - Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaLast month, I received the following letter from an old friend, Lloyd Barnhart. "A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomena which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated…even abused…by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ...
Views: 1788(1 vote) - The Freedom of Maturity - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaAnd then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged…You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. —Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people. But for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of expectations. At mid-life it's ...
Views: 2467(2 votes) - Success in Four Steps - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my private counseling practice, clients often tell me, "I want to be happy!" We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how happy you are than your ...
Views: 1876(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Just Want a Way to Resolve the Yelling - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been together with my wife for about 3 years now. We have worked on many issues in our marriage and resolved most of them; however, there is still one issue that has not been resolved. It seems that little mistakes I make, such as not taking out the trash when it ...
Views: 2112(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Infidelity -- Stay or Go? - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaIf video doesn't load, click here. Discovering your partner has been unfaithful is a shock. Your first instinct may be to run, but if you have a shared history, children and finances, you may wonder – should you stay or go? Dr. Romance shows you how to decide. When you get ...
Views: 2453(1 vote) - Family Violence Q&A - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaQ: My spouse and I often have arguments over the “small stuff.” How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering? A: I’ll bet neither of you would argue with your boss or work colleagues, or your children’s teachers the way you argue with ...
Views: 1819(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Give Up on His Love? - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: We'd been really close and intimate. I thought we were going to be in a special relationship soon because he told me we were having something special. No matter how tired he was, he'd had his dinner with me. He got paranoid every time I threatened to stop ...
Views: 1906(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Is He Cheating on Me? - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Is he cheating on me? Or am I just being paranoid? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 15 months now. A couple of weeks ago we broke up and then got back together after a week. When we broke up he kept texting me, asking “Are you happy?” and ...
Views: 1904 - Family Meetings - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaEvery member of your family has a right to have his or her opinions respected. You don’t have to agree or go along with what your child wants, but you should at least know what it is, and your child should know why you're overriding his or her preferences. Regular family meetings, where ...
Views: 1856(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Dr. Romance on How to Be a Loving Couple When You Have Kids - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view video, click here.) Parenthood is an overwhelming job. Kids, especially babies, seem to need you there constantly. It's very easy for parents to get so into the role that they lose sight of the couple relationship they used to have. "Dr. Romance" shows ...
Views: 2622(2 votes) - Fair Fight Guidelines - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2012 from Tina TessinaThirty years of marriage counseling and twenty-five years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to disagree, but they don’t need to squabble, argue, ...
Views: 1724(3 votes) - Dear. Dr. Romance: Every Time We Talk, I'm in Tears and He's Mad - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been married for 17 years and thought we had a great marriage. 10 years ago I got hurt and have had 6 back surgeries. At one point I would double up on meds and drink to ignore life. During this time my husband was an angel; until he discovered I was ...
Views: 2363 - Emotions as Weather - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaAlthough most people in the country wouldn’t agree, we in Southern California have been having extreme weather conditions for us: rain and mudslides. You could almost say we’re so used to mild conditions that we become afraid of what others would call “real” ...
Views: 2930(2 votes) - Dr. Romance (with Alex Franzen) "Do. Not. React" - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaDO. NOT. REACT. Tips for surviving & mastering confrontation, with grace —in business & in love. Pop quiz, people: How do you drop an atom bomb of sudden, unexpected (and quite possibly, undesirable) information on someone you care about — without behaving like a cruel, ...
Views: 1880(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Improving Relationships between Parents and Stepchildren - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaTo view video, click here. Ah, the ugly step parent, celebrated and villainized in fairy tales. Do you have to take on the role? "Dr. Romance" licensed psychotherapist and author, says you don't, and shows you how to manage to be the kind of step-parent that causes ...
Views: 2679(6 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Love Him to Death But Can't Find a Solution - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, My name is Michelle i am 18 years old.. I was reading an article that you posted up about fighting; and everything that you talked about not doing during a fight I tend to do. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we tend to fight a lot about the smallest things ...
Views: 2061 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Propose Marriage - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaIf video doesn't load, click here OK, guys, you're (gulp) ready to pop the big question. But you've seen those videos of lavish proposals that went wrong. How do you ask her in a way that's got an excellent chance of getting a happy ...
Views: 1777(4 votes) - Stupid Cupid - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2012 from Tina TessinaMiley Cyrus is only 19, and she's just gotten engaged to Liam Hemsworth. Will it last? Well, the fact that it's a celebrity match is not in its favor -- celebrity couples don't have a great track record. As a little pre-wedding gift, here's what Miley and Liam can do to make sure they're ready ...
Views: 1915(2 votes) - Surviving Loss and Thriving Again - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaNone of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking the loss of that ...
Views: 2087(1 vote) - Emotional Hygiene - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaRecently, I had a minor but difficult surgical procedure to lance an abscess on my leg. It was very painful, and while I recovered physically pretty quickly, I had some Post -traumatic stress reactions—bad dreams, flashbacks, and upset—after my recovery. I had to acknowledge my upset and ...
Views: 2231(4 votes) - Don’t Panic! - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2012 from Tina TessinaThere is always something in the news or on TV to scare us. Hysterical articles in the media sell papers, and attract eyeballs to websites, but are usually exaggerating the facts. If you listen without evaluating what you’re being told, it’s easy to become frightened. There's a reason why I ...
Views: 1979(1 vote) - Detox Your Life - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2012 from Tina TessinaMany of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how to handle ...
Views: 1750(2 votes) - Single Parent Dating - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2012 from Tina TessinaAs a single parent, you probably have so little free time that dating seems an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers, so if you’re looking for another “head of household” to date, you’ll find one. As a responsible parent, you’ll want to be very cautious ...
Views: 1701(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Repairing a Dysfunctional Mother/Daughter Relationship - by Submitted on May 28, 2012 from Tina Tessina(Watch the video here: http://youtu.be/1Fp55ZFayeU) When you hit your teens you and your mom had a bad time, and you still are. Maybe she's not the mother you always wanted, but she's yours. How do you bury the hatchet and repair your connection? This will also be helpful for moms trying to ...
Views: 2644 - Creating Unconditional Love - by Submitted on May 27, 2012 from Tina TessinaLove, commitment and relationships seem to be in disfavor these days. I’m seeing a lot of articles and TV shows saying love doesn’t last, so why bother. But, I believe that all of us want to be loved, and I know from experience that a relationship can work, and that a great partnership is a joy ...
Views: 2038 - Dr. Romance Says: Lighten Up: Cures for Marital Boredom - by Submitted on May 24, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The old folk songs say it: Oh, love is handsome, love is fine Love is a jewel when it is new; But when love's old, it waxes cold And fades away, like morning dew. Folk wisdom says it: If newlyweds put a penny in a jar for every time they make love in the first ...
Views: 1805(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: What Is Wrong with Me? - by Submitted on May 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What is wrong with me? Angry, sad, blah? It's 5 am and I'm still awake. I'm 29, single (I don't mind), I go to school, an ok job, pets. I'm not starving, as long at there's a roof over my head i'm good to go. So many things I really want to do. I get into it then I don't ...
Views: 2110(1 vote) - Creating Family Acceptance - by Submitted on May 20, 2012 from Tina TessinaLately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. If your choice of ...
Views: 3152(3 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: On Having a New Baby When You Have Stepchildren - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view the video, go here: http://youtu.be/OlC24alx1Gs.) You and your new spouse are over the moon about having a baby, but the children from your previous marriage are acting strange and upset or distant. What's wrong, and how do you fix it? Tina B. Tessina, PhD, "Dr. Romance" licensed ...
Views: 3066(2 votes) - Creating Connections: Draw Them In - by Submitted on May 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaMany years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it "Outwitted" by Edwin Markham He drew a circle that shut me out — Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in! As Markham says, we could see people ...
Views: 3889(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Really Wish I Could Go Back in Time and Fix This - by Submitted on May 07, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I have read some of your articles and am very impressed. I am about to write about something that will probably be one of the most bizarre cases you have ever heard. About 12 years ago, I felt a strong attraction towards a girl who was in my high school. We both were in ...
Views: 1759(2 votes) - Coping with Critics - by Submitted on May 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaNo one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It’s always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I’m a writer of books and columns, and because I’ve lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I’m glad I’m not more recognizable, for along with the lovely ...
Views: 2996(2 votes) - The Courage to Hope - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2012 from Tina TessinaWe’ve heard a lot about hope recently, but one thing was not said. Hope is scary. Anyone who dares to hope runs the risk of disappointment and feelings of failure. With the overwhelming focus on success in our culture, the threat of failure and disappointment is blown out of proportion. In my ...
Views: 1857(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: The Magic of Reassurance - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There are a few simple communication techniques that work like magic in relationships, whether with committed partners, friends, co-workers or relatives. One of the most effective is reassurance, which is simple to do , and calms both of you down, which allows your ...
Views: 1970(1 vote) - Comforting the Little Orphan Girl - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaWhen life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. ...
Views: 1748 - Dear Dr. Romance: He Spends More Time with His Friends Than Me - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My boyfriend spends more time with his friends than me by a long shot. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months now and he all of a sudden started spending way more time with them than me. I've tried talking to him about it and he said "i need two days per week ...
Views: 3318 - Dr. Romance Video: How to be Civil to an Ex-Husband - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2012 from Tina Tessina[View the video here: http://youtu.be/1DM_RHzOBEk] The divorce was ugly, he was a jerk, but you still need to have contact with him because of your kids or finances. You hate to have to deal with him, but you have to. What can you do to make it better for yourself and your kids? Tina B. ...
Views: 1849(1 vote) - The Colors of You - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaAs life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues—our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and accomplishments. As you mature, you can focus on ...
Views: 1559(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Lonely and Hate It! - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Almost all of my friends have boyfriends, (we're 22, turning 23) and I don't. I never have. I feel really alone during the week because all my friends are with their boyfriends. I basically work, take classes, and that's it. I either need a boyfriend or more friends, because ...
Views: 2014 - Attitude Adjustment - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaI have before about emotional hygiene and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude ...
Views: 1809 - Dear Dr. Romance: Do I Surprise Her with a Gift? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I know I feel strongly about a certain someone. Do I surprise her with a gift or e-mail her with my recent feelings through a tough time? Dear Reader: It sounds like you're way ahead of yourself and her. I think a gift would be completely out of line at this point. ...
Views: 1750 - Dr. Romance Video: How to Deal with Partying Roommates - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: [My roommates] are loud, they're drunk, they keep me up or wake me up at night. What can I do? Dr. Romance Responds: The best way to have a good roommate situation is to talk about your arrangements in advance, including writing them down so they're clear. It's important ...
Views: 1642(1 vote) - Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaDespite the occasional temporary setback, my life is good, and I’m grateful. It wasn’t always that way, however. At 18, just after I left for college, I was essentially orphaned, and have had to go from no education or support to finding a purpose, supporting myself through a PhD, and developing ...
Views: 2984(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Need Something to Break the Ice! - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What to say in this situation? Okay, so there's this girl in my art class that I really want to talk to and get to know! Problem is she sits at a different table than me and I just plain don't know what to say to her! I'm a senior and she's a sophomore! What should I say to ...
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