Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Jeanne King, Ph.D. | Selfgrowth.com
- Emotional Abuse Characteristics: 5 Significant Subtle Signs - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Lack of "emotional safety" is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being. When you have emotional safety, it's palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it's missing, you ...
Views: 7684 - Psychological Abuse: 3 Signs of Crazy-Making by Family, by Friend, by Enemy - by Submitted on May 25, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We know it happens; yet when we see it, we’re in shock. And when we experience it, we’re numb. How can a family member, who once claimed to cherish you, plot to back you into a fabricated psychiatric label and sentence of craziness? That is the question that dumbfounds anyone who walks in these ...
Views: 3906 - 3 Keys to Surviving Verbal and Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.You are not his/her words, though it doesn’t feel that way when you are being abused. On a very deep level, you believe those words of disregard, disapproval, disrespect…even the ones that are absolutely foul. Yet, in a more surface way, you claim not to buy that trash. You know those are just ...
Views: 3847 - Verbal Abuse - How To Stay Out Of The Line Of Fire When It Comes To Verbal Abuse - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be. Let’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control ...
Views: 2018(1 vote) - Understanding the Dynamics of Verbal Abuse in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 13, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse is toxic. The following is Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviewing domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. in an effort to help people recognize and understand verbal abuse in unhealthy relationships. 1) KATE CARLSON: In your words, please define verbal abuse and ...
Views: 1955 - Emotionally Abusive Relationship - 5 Signs You’re Entering into an Emotionally Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Lack of emotional safety is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being. When you have emotional safety, it’s palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it’s missing, you ...
Views: 1917 - When Parents Control - 3 Keys to Breaking Free from Parental Control - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.A controlling parent can have as much a crippling effect on an adult child as on an intimate partner. And I’m sure you know why. But help for that adult child is touch and go. There are no shelters for them, yet they have many of the same financial issues as battered women. If they haven’t ...
Views: 1760 - Psychological Abuse and Divorce: Mental Illness by Layman’s Declaration - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.For almost every battered woman and abused man I work with, there is a layman’s label attached to the core of their self-perception. This label is typically bestowed upon them by their battering partner or by allies supporting his/her plight to save face and to discredit and silence the ...
Views: 1720 - Lack of Emotional Safety as a Sign of an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Emotional safety is vague when it isn’t there, and it’s ever so palatable when it is. What is being emotionally safe? And how does this serve as an indicator...an internal red flag of a potentially destructive relationship. What is emotional safety? Emotionally safe is a feeling ...
Views: 1620 - Abusive Relationship: Subtle Communication Patterns Of Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.People ask me what kind of domestic abuse assessment screen helps someone who is abused to see the light. In providing assessments for thousands of people, I’m convinced that a tool that reveals the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships helps someone being abused to awaken ...
Views: 1616 - Verbal Abuse Signs & Help – Understanding and Thriving beyond Verbal Abuse in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on May 02, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse, as well as emotional abuse, result in wounds and scars deep within. In the following interview we look at the impact upon the victim and offer recommendations for her surviving and thriving beyond the battering. The following is part two of an interview with Kate Carlson, OTR/L ...
Views: 1559 - Abusive Relationships - 3 Deadly Mistakes in Assuming Responsibility for the Battering Behavior - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear it all the time: “You’re not responsible for your abuser’s battering behavior.” Yet, victims of domestic abuse spend an inordinate amount of time trying to alter this behavior. Fix it. Change it. Account for it. Often, and usually unknowingly, this invites three deadly mistakes victims ...
Views: 1547 - Healing from Emotional Abuse: The Memory is in the Muscle - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The memory is in the muscle. We hear people vividly taste remnants of the feelings surrounding old trauma when faced with a trigger of the context in which that original trauma was experienced. It’s truly as though the memory is in the muscle. We know this phenomenon to be characteristic of ...
Views: 1511 - Domestic Violence and the Legal Abuse Syndrome - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe? Not necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And ...
Views: 1504 - Domestic Abuse Victims - 5 Tell-Tale Signs That You’re Still Wearing “The Abused” Hat - by Submitted on May 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic abuse victims heal and transform themselves at different rates. You can tell when their recovery process remains in progress, yet to be completed. And if you are a domestic violence survivor, you know when you’re still wearing that “I’m a Victim” hat. Here are some tell-tale signs that ...
Views: 1480 - Leaving an Abusive Relationship – The Victim’s Power After the Altercation - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When is the best time to grab a victim out of an abusive relationship? There are two points of intervention. That is, there are two times when she/he is MOST amenable to leaving the abusive relationship. What are these times? 1) Before she/he settles into the relationship and becomes part of ...
Views: 1478 - Spousal Emotional Abuse - 3 Deadly Mistakes in Hiding from Verbal Abuse in Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse in marriage makes for a toxic home. You feel it in the air, smell it in your living space, see its brutal impact on yourself as well as on little ones dependent upon you. You know this from the core of your being, yet when victimized by verbal abuse in marriage, there is a tendency ...
Views: 1478 - Abused Men – When Women Batter Men, What Do Men Do? - by Submitted on May 13, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Many women say they where glad when their partners hit them, because in that moment the light went “on” and they knew exactly what they were dealing with: domestic abuse, intimate partner violence. But for abused men, the physical abuse doesn’t always turn the light “on.” More often it sends ...
Views: 1468 - Abusive Spouse: Are There Two Kinds of Batterers? - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.They say victims of domestic abuse come in all shapes and sizes, yet have some very distinct commonalities characteristic of being in an abusive relationship. Abusive spouses, on the other hand, come in two very distinct breeds. What are they? Two Kinds of Batterers: There are those that ...
Views: 1466 - The Role and Impact of Verbal Abuse in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Intimate partner violence is best avoided by understanding emotional verbal abuse and the warning signs of an abusive relationship. In an effort to help educate people and increase awareness of verbal abuse, Kate Carlson, OTR/L interviews Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. Kate Carlson: Throughout the ...
Views: 1457 - Psychological Abuse: 6 Tips to Counter Being Improperly Labeled with a Psychiatric Diagnosis - by Submitted on Jun 02, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.As a psychologist, domestic abuse consultant and one who has known domestic violence personally, I’m frequently approached by battered women for “psychological truth.” They are eager to know if the names and labels given to them by their abusive partners, or by the court agents acting on their ...
Views: 1451 - Spousal Abuse or Substance Abuse: How Do You Know? - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.People often say my partner is abusive when he/she drinks. And from here, they deduce that they are dealing with partner or spousal abuse. However, that may or may not necessarily be so. How do you distinguish between abuse associated with alcohol and/or drug abuse from abuse associated with ...
Views: 1445 - Domestic Violence Counseling: When the Counselor Becomes Your Enemy - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I often hear domestic violence survivors complain that the counselor they are seeing with their partner has sided with him/her. These victims expected to seek therapeutic remedy for the dysfunction that they live, and they discover they have gained another “enemy.” Here are some things you ...
Views: 1433(1 vote) - How to Break the Cycle of Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.A common question people ask is what are some practical ways to break the cycle of abuse? First is identifying the syndrome It is essential that you have identified the cluster of symptoms that defines domestic violence and understand how it lives in your life. Giving it a name is number ...
Views: 1423 - 3 Telltale Signs of Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.How do you know if this is emotional abuse? How do you know if you are being abused emotionally? You know from the inside out. Look closely at these three tell-tale signs of emotional abuse and let your awareness of your inner experience, relative to each, permeate your entire being. 1) Being ...
Views: 1348 - Emotional Verbal Abuse: Signs that Serve to Save Verbal Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Women say, I was glad when he hit me, because I finally realized what was on my plate. I finally got it. This is abuse! Do you need the altercations in your home to become physical before you can see them for what they are? If so, you could be making your remedy more difficult, more ...
Views: 1317 - Domestic Abuse Counseling and Psychotherapy in the Age of Internet Technology - by Submitted on May 12, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I can remember twenty years ago having an elitist attitude about how I found my doctors. I only saw a doctor by referral. I was not the kind of person to find a doctor in the yellow pages. And I was accustomed to patients seeking me out through referral. Roughly 90% of my patients came to me ...
Views: 1290 - Abused Women & Battered Men: 3 Secrets to Getting Out and Staying Out of the Doghouse - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Habits are habitual, aren’t they? This is so true for the “being battered” habit. It is as though you come to expect punishment not only when in his/her presence, but also long after your abusive partner is out of the room, out of your house or even out of your life. If you are a survivor of ...
Views: 1279 - Obstacles to Leaving an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear a lot about leaving an abusive relationship. Those on the outside say you must. Those on the inside know they ultimately will. And those responsible for the abuse say you can’t, shouldn’t and better not or else! What are the real obstacles to leaving an abusive ...
Views: 1276 - Domestic Violence Resources – The 5 Essential Resources for Domestic Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence help comes in all shapes and sizes. There is the crisis hotline to get you where you need to go ASAP. Then, there are the community domestic abuse support groups that assure you that “you are not alone.” Your domestic violence shelter will give you all the resources for your ...
Views: 1271 - The 7 Costly Mistakes Domestic Abuse Survivors Make with Their Divorce Lawyers - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Why do domestic abuse victims see the abuse dynamic in their home, but fail to recognize it in their divorce proceedings? The answer to this question is the same answer to the question, “Why doesn’t she awaken to the abuse in her home?” You know the answer: she is part of the very dynamic for ...
Views: 1263 - Controlling Relationships – The 4 Ways an Abuser Controls His/Her Victim - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Abuse is fundamentally about control. Violence may be a manifestation of relationship abuse, but domestic abuse is really about control. And the perpetrator can’t bear to be out of control. When perpetrators feel they are losing control, their means to exercise control escalates. What are the ...
Views: 1244 - Verbal Abuse in Marriage – 3 Insights That Will Save You in the Face of Verbal Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Verbal abuse is toxic, especially when you are on the receiving end. It can wear you down, burn you out, and literally change the way you think and feel about yourself. But it doesn’t have to... Here are some insights that will help you hold your own in the face of verbal abuse. 1) Know that ...
Views: 1237 - After the Abusive Relationship: Long-Term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Do what you’re called to do and the universe will support you. You’ve probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs... This is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your ...
Views: 1222 - Interactional Relationship Abuse VS Intimate Partner Violence: 3 Distinguishing Characteristics - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear a lot about the “he said, she said” when it comes to relationship violence. The challenge for advocates and interventionists is to accurately ascertain, not only “who did what” but even more revealing, what are the underlying dynamics inspiring the altercations between the ...
Views: 1216 - Victimization and Manipulation - 3 Tips for Satisfying Your Needs After the Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on May 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We know that domestic abuse survivors endure the tremendous pressure of their controlling partners. And they become accustomed to manipulation as a means to fulfill one’s personal needs. It’s no wonder that manipulation becomes a method of choice when it comes to meeting their own individual ...
Views: 1201 - Family Court Violence – When Mommy Is Punishment and Children Are Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When domestic violence is before the court, fortified with finance and politics, the net result is the protective parent is about punishment and the children are about abuse. Sound strange? If you’re living it, the strange nightmare while twisted is ever so true. Far too often when domestic ...
Views: 1193 - Affluent Spousal Abuse - Battered Queens: When the Rich Are Entangled in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 07, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Common thinking is that domestic violence is a misfortune that befalls the lower class. We hear about them more, we see more of them, we have public services to care for their needs...but that doesn’t make them in the majority when it comes to domestic abuse. I would venture to say that ...
Views: 1187 - Daughter In Abusive Relationship: How To Help Your Daughter In An Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Often it is the person closest to the abused individual that becomes vocal about the existence of an abusive relationship. This may be mother, father, sister, brother or best friend. What becomes most difficult for these bystanders is helping their loved one acknowledge the abuse as they see ...
Views: 1168 - Adult Child's Abusive Relationship: The Significance of the Subtle Signs Of An Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.While the punch, the black eye, the bruised throat or broken jaw are obviously glaring signs that one is living in an abusive relationship, these are not always the clues that inspire the abused to leave. As human beings we have an enormous capacity to whether trauma and a built-in mechanism to ...
Views: 1167 - The Intergenerational Transmission of the Cycle of Family Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If your home consists of one (or more) parent that batters, chances are higher that your children will acquire the same tendency to be controlling and use battering to get their way. Now this doesn’t mean that all children of abusers become abusers, as they may very well instead become victims ...
Views: 1166 - Healing from Emotional Abuse – The Mind-Emotion-Body Connection in Healing for Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The mind-emotion-body connection is something some of us take for granted, while others remain in awe. I do both. Now here is a little psychological insight that will open doors for your recovery from psychological, mental and emotional abuse. Go ahead and get your coffee or herbal tea ...
Views: 1162 - Healing from Emotional Abuse: Overcoming Obstacles and Obtaining Benefits from Meditation - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I hear people claim they can’t meditate and so they opt for some other form of relaxation or marshal art. My hunch is they can meditate if and when they get out of their way. Meditation is fundamentally not a doing activity, though there is a discipline of routine and mechanics involved. ...
Views: 1150 - Crazy Making: 3 Signs Your Mental Health Status is "On the Line" in Your Domestic Violence Divorce - by Submitted on May 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence is hard enough to endure in and of itself. Then there’s the “getting out” part that is in some cases harder. The saddest, though, is the price the victim sometimes pays for her* peace, safety and freedom. For some survivors this is her sanity, for others it may be her contact ...
Views: 1148 - Domestic Violence Recovery – Fear is a Choice and Has a Consequence - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If you chose fear, then the object of your fear is scary. If you chose not to fear, the object is neutral. Fear is a choice. And the choice you make will determine how you see the other person, thing or situation AND how you experience yourself relative to that person…how you experience ...
Views: 1148 - Domestic Violence Divorce - 2 Sure Ways to Silence You and Your Victimization - by Submitted on May 07, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Being a domestic violence survivor is quite a job, but navigating the system to secure your safety can feel like a life sentence. You expect the system to “protect” you and your children. And when you see your case and your cause given lip service over actual remedy-providing service, you ...
Views: 1139 - Domestic Abuse Survivor Tips - The 3 Keys to Thriving after Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We all have our moments when we slide into that beaten down spot and find ourselves wallowing in thoughts that keep us there. It’s as if one picks up where one’s former batterer left off. When that happens, nip it in the bud. In the same way that you may quash a cold coming at its early onset ...
Views: 1124 - Abusive Relationship Healing - 5 Tips for Lifting Depression after Your Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.It is common knowledge that when one is beaten down, they feel beaten down. So it’s no wonder that domestic abuse survivors frequently suffer from depression. We see this in individuals living in an abusive relationship, and in those having left their abuser. What is it that makes it ...
Views: 1116 - Domestic Violence Resources – Understanding Privileged Communication and Witness Testimony - by Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Privileged communication and expert witness testimony are two areas that battered women and abused men may come to know in their divorce proceedings. However, the way in which these two interact is not always clear. And unfortunately for some the consequences pose a significant loss. This ...
Views: 1107 - Psychological Legal Abuse – Mental Illness by Psychological and Mental Abuse - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The use of psychology or psychiatry to contain and control a family member (or close friend) is almost as old as psychiatry itself. Not well publicized, however a practice that dates back decades. From time to time, you may see a person wearing a psychiatric diagnosis that was inspired by the ...
Views: 1107