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Articles from Jeanne King, Ph.D. | Selfgrowth.com
- Verbal Abuse - How To Stay Out Of The Line Of Fire When It Comes To Verbal Abuse - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The moment the verbal assault springs off his/her tongue, the natural reflex is “ouch.” Correct? But lucky for you, it doesn’t have to be. Let’s face it, you cannot control what’s up with another person, much less what they dish out, but you certainly can control ...
Views: 2018(1 vote) - Domestic Violence Counseling: When the Counselor Becomes Your Enemy - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I often hear domestic violence survivors complain that the counselor they are seeing with their partner has sided with him/her. These victims expected to seek therapeutic remedy for the dysfunction that they live, and they discover they have gained another “enemy.” Here are some things you ...
Views: 1433(1 vote) - Family Court Violence – When Mommy Is Punishment and Children Are Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When domestic violence is before the court, fortified with finance and politics, the net result is the protective parent is about punishment and the children are about abuse. Sound strange? If you’re living it, the strange nightmare while twisted is ever so true. Far too often when domestic ...
Views: 1193 - 3 Keys to Surviving Verbal and Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.You are not his/her words, though it doesn’t feel that way when you are being abused. On a very deep level, you believe those words of disregard, disapproval, disrespect…even the ones that are absolutely foul. Yet, in a more surface way, you claim not to buy that trash. You know those are just ...
Views: 3847 - 3 Telltale Signs of Emotional Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.How do you know if this is emotional abuse? How do you know if you are being abused emotionally? You know from the inside out. Look closely at these three tell-tale signs of emotional abuse and let your awareness of your inner experience, relative to each, permeate your entire being. 1) Being ...
Views: 1348 - 5 Benefits of Learning to Identify Intimate Partner Abuse - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If you have read my writing, you may know me as someone who encourages people to recognize intimate partner violence. But, I wonder if you know why I’m so steadfast about this. Learning to Meditate Is Like Learning to Mate I’m reminded of the days when I taught biofeedback and ...
Views: 854 - 7 Tips to Help Your Loved One in an Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We often hear friend’s and family members of domestic abuse victims express frustration over their loved one’s choosing to remain in their abusive relationships. This is understandable. Question is how can they help the abused? In working with families over the years, I find the ...
Views: 903 - Abused Men - Are You In The Doghouse Of An Abusive Relationship? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Abusive women put their men in the doghouse when they are misbehaving. And the shame these men feel is no different than that felt by battered women. It’s a shame that has many dimensions: a) I let my partner down. b) I don’t measure up to my partner’s expectations and/or ...
Views: 857 - Abused Men – When Women Batter Men, What Do Men Do? - by Submitted on May 13, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Many women say they where glad when their partners hit them, because in that moment the light went “on” and they knew exactly what they were dealing with: domestic abuse, intimate partner violence. But for abused men, the physical abuse doesn’t always turn the light “on.” More often it sends ...
Views: 1468 - Abused Men: Abusive Partner And The Gender Factor - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Common thinking is that domestic violence is a “women’s issue.” While it is true there are more reported abuse cases involving women, it is a fact that men are abused by their domestic partners as well. My belief is that there is indeed a gender factor when we think of abuse ...
Views: 800 - Abused Women & Battered Men: 3 Secrets to Getting Out and Staying Out of the Doghouse - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Habits are habitual, aren’t they? This is so true for the “being battered” habit. It is as though you come to expect punishment not only when in his/her presence, but also long after your abusive partner is out of the room, out of your house or even out of your life. If you are a survivor of ...
Views: 1279 - Abusive Relationship - 8 Reasons You Haven't Left Your Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.You know from the core of your being that living in an abusive relationship is not good...not healthy…outright destructive. But you struggle with leaving. And those that know of your circumstances remain perplexed as to why you just don’t go. I understand and so do the millions of ...
Views: 775 - Abusive Relationship - Double Dynamics When Sons And Daughters Are In Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.It’s no secret that we use our adulthood to work out our unfinished business with our parents. And when domestic violence is on our plate we may even see it as an opportunity to get even. Young people in abusive relationships sometime remain in these relationships because their parents ...
Views: 792 - Abusive Relationship - The Power Of A Diagnosis in Understanding And Ending Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.The value of the diagnostic label has more to do with the way it impacts the person with the condition than anything else. Can you remember a time in your life when you had a medical condition and you received a diagnosis that immediately lifted the weight off your shoulders and sent you to ...
Views: 750 - Abusive Relationship - Why Does She Let Him Talk To Her Like That? - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.What’s wrong with her for “letting” him talk to her like that? This is the first thought of an outsider looking in on an abusive encounter of an abusive relationship. Dr. Phil was interviewing a couple obviously in an abusive relationship. He asked the woman how she felt about ...
Views: 902 - Abusive Relationship Healing - 5 Tips for Lifting Depression after Your Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.It is common knowledge that when one is beaten down, they feel beaten down. So it’s no wonder that domestic abuse survivors frequently suffer from depression. We see this in individuals living in an abusive relationship, and in those having left their abuser. What is it that makes it ...
Views: 1116 - Abusive Relationship: Subtle Communication Patterns Of Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.People ask me what kind of domestic abuse assessment screen helps someone who is abused to see the light. In providing assessments for thousands of people, I’m convinced that a tool that reveals the subtle communication patterns of abusive relationships helps someone being abused to awaken ...
Views: 1616 - Abusive Relationships - 3 Deadly Mistakes in Assuming Responsibility for the Battering Behavior - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We hear it all the time: “You’re not responsible for your abuser’s battering behavior.” Yet, victims of domestic abuse spend an inordinate amount of time trying to alter this behavior. Fix it. Change it. Account for it. Often, and usually unknowingly, this invites three deadly mistakes victims ...
Views: 1547 - Abusive Relationships - What is the Difference between Being Abusive and Being an Abuser? - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.What is the difference between “being abusive” and “being an abuser?” I hear this question by people trying to determine if they are entangled in intimate partner violence, even when they don’t know this term. What they want to know is: Am I in a dangerously abusive ...
Views: 913 - Abusive Relationships - Why Do People Return To Their Abusive Relationship? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.A common question people have about individuals in abusive relationships is: why do they stay? A more perplexing question to bystanders looking in is: why do they go back? And moreover, why do they go back again and again and again? It is estimated that a domestic abuse survivor will return to ...
Views: 998 - Abusive Relationships - Why Doesn't She Just Leave, for Crying Out Loud! - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Almost as common as the question why doesn’t she just leave are the answers. So why do people continue to ask? I suspect it is because a victim’s staying in an abusive relationship is truly perplexing looking from the outside in. Here are 3 clear explanations for why she ...
Views: 838 - Abusive Spouse: Are There Two Kinds of Batterers? - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.They say victims of domestic abuse come in all shapes and sizes, yet have some very distinct commonalities characteristic of being in an abusive relationship. Abusive spouses, on the other hand, come in two very distinct breeds. What are they? Two Kinds of Batterers: There are those that ...
Views: 1466 - Adult Child's Abusive Relationship - How to Support Your Child's Psychotherapeutic Growth - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Parents are often the instruments of change for adult children in abusive relationships. And at the same time, they can also impede the change process. The Process Yields the Result Psychotherapy is a process; it’s not an injection. Even though there are psychotherapeutic techniques ...
Views: 828 - Adult Child's Abusive Relationship: The Significance of the Subtle Signs Of An Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.While the punch, the black eye, the bruised throat or broken jaw are obviously glaring signs that one is living in an abusive relationship, these are not always the clues that inspire the abused to leave. As human beings we have an enormous capacity to whether trauma and a built-in mechanism to ...
Views: 1167 - Affluent Spousal Abuse - Battered Queens: When the Rich Are Entangled in Abusive Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 07, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Common thinking is that domestic violence is a misfortune that befalls the lower class. We hear about them more, we see more of them, we have public services to care for their needs...but that doesn’t make them in the majority when it comes to domestic abuse. I would venture to say that ...
Views: 1187 - After The Abusive Relationship - 7 Clues for Knowing You're Doing What Is Right For You - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence survivors often wonder what next? Now, that I’m no longer defined by my role in my “other life,” then what next... Who is this person? What is this person? What ought this person be doing with her life? In some respects this pondering is typical of battered ...
Views: 845 - After the Abusive Relationship: Long-Term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Do what you’re called to do and the universe will support you. You’ve probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs... This is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your ...
Views: 1222 - Controlling Relationships – The 4 Ways an Abuser Controls His/Her Victim - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Abuse is fundamentally about control. Violence may be a manifestation of relationship abuse, but domestic abuse is really about control. And the perpetrator can’t bear to be out of control. When perpetrators feel they are losing control, their means to exercise control escalates. What are the ...
Views: 1244 - Crazy Making: 3 Signs Your Mental Health Status is "On the Line" in Your Domestic Violence Divorce - by Submitted on May 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence is hard enough to endure in and of itself. Then there’s the “getting out” part that is in some cases harder. The saddest, though, is the price the victim sometimes pays for her* peace, safety and freedom. For some survivors this is her sanity, for others it may be her contact ...
Views: 1148 - Daughter In Abusive Relationship: How To Help Your Daughter In An Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Often it is the person closest to the abused individual that becomes vocal about the existence of an abusive relationship. This may be mother, father, sister, brother or best friend. What becomes most difficult for these bystanders is helping their loved one acknowledge the abuse as they see ...
Views: 1168 - Divorce and Abuse: 3 Things to Avoid to Improve Your Success in Family Court - by Submitted on May 14, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If the system is broken, how can you make it work for you? This is a question that puzzles battered women in family court. They show up expecting the court to protect the rights of their children and themselves, only to discover that it becomes an uphill battle to simply defend against losing ...
Views: 1103 - Divorce Visitation - When Domestic Abuse Revels Itself in the Interest of the Controlling Parent - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.In helping people negotiate child custody and visitation schedules, I’ve come to see a pattern express itself in terms of parents’ desire for their children to have equal access to both parents. The moment I see resistance to equal access to both parents based on what a parent “may” do without ...
Views: 974 - Domestic Abuse - Why Water For Domestic Abuse And Trauma Recovery? - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.What’s with the water for domestic abuse survivors? Water can be like soap to the body on a cellular level. It flushes out the impurities in the system. And let’s face it when you live with someone who tells you that you are junk...toxicity builds up in your system. So how do you ...
Views: 862 - Domestic Abuse and Family - The Use of Your Immediate Family to Carry Out Your Abusive Partner's Agenda - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.To add insult to injury, confusion to the complicated, mystery to the already oozing drama is the use of your own family to carry out your abusive partner’s agenda. Why? Whose Family Is My Family? If you’re perplexed as to why your parents are suddenly supporting your ...
Views: 790 - Domestic Abuse Counseling and Psychotherapy in the Age of Internet Technology - by Submitted on May 12, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.I can remember twenty years ago having an elitist attitude about how I found my doctors. I only saw a doctor by referral. I was not the kind of person to find a doctor in the yellow pages. And I was accustomed to patients seeking me out through referral. Roughly 90% of my patients came to me ...
Views: 1290 - Domestic Abuse Survivor Tips - The 3 Keys to Thriving after Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.We all have our moments when we slide into that beaten down spot and find ourselves wallowing in thoughts that keep us there. It’s as if one picks up where one’s former batterer left off. When that happens, nip it in the bud. In the same way that you may quash a cold coming at its early onset ...
Views: 1124 - Domestic Abuse Victims - 5 Tell-Tale Signs That You’re Still Wearing “The Abused” Hat - by Submitted on May 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic abuse victims heal and transform themselves at different rates. You can tell when their recovery process remains in progress, yet to be completed. And if you are a domestic violence survivor, you know when you’re still wearing that “I’m a Victim” hat. Here are some tell-tale signs that ...
Views: 1480 - Domestic Violence and Child Custody - Legal Psychiatric Ploys of Divorce Lawyers - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When divorce and domestic violence are before the court, the children can often serve as the vehicle for the perpetrator to save face and maintain control over the family. Sound familiar? If you are in family court with an abusive partner, or abusive ex-partner, and there are children ...
Views: 992 - Domestic Violence and Child Custody: From the Frying Pan to the Fire of Family Violence - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Can we bring justice to family courts? That’s a highly political question, and I think the answer has more to do with the nature of the human beings behind the system and the misconceptions of those using the system to seek safety. We hear of battered women falling through the cracks of ...
Views: 787 - Domestic Violence and the Legal Abuse Syndrome - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe? Not necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And ...
Views: 1504 - Domestic Violence and the Parental Alienation Syndrome - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.In marriages in which there is no domestic abuse and parental alienation upon divorce, it is more often the woman who is the alienating parent. Whereas in marriages in which there is domestic abuse, the victimized partner is in most cases the alienated parent. Why these trends? PAS in ...
Views: 1089 - Domestic Violence Awareness – Risks, Causes and Signs of Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence is best known before it comes knocking at your door. College World Reporter Donell Edwards interviews domestic abuse consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. to help educate young college women about domestic violence. 1) DONELL EDWARDS: In recent weeks, the alleged attack of ...
Views: 1084 - Domestic Violence Divorce - 2 Sure Ways to Silence You and Your Victimization - by Submitted on May 07, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Being a domestic violence survivor is quite a job, but navigating the system to secure your safety can feel like a life sentence. You expect the system to “protect” you and your children. And when you see your case and your cause given lip service over actual remedy-providing service, you ...
Views: 1139 - Domestic Violence Divorce: Legal Psychiatric Rape - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.When a victim leaves a battering relationship and moves out OR speaks out, is she safe? Not necessarily so. Statistics show she is more often at greater risk after she leaves. Far too often we hear about battered women falling through the cracks of the system on their way out of an abusive ...
Views: 865 - Domestic Violence Prevention is the Cure - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.There are as many variations on this story as there are people living it. Yet there are a few common themes that present in most renditions of established intimate partner violence. These are: a) There may very well be a price when you leave. b) Getting to that point will likely involve a lot ...
Views: 1013 - Domestic Violence Recovery – Fear is a Choice and Has a Consequence - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.If you chose fear, then the object of your fear is scary. If you chose not to fear, the object is neutral. Fear is a choice. And the choice you make will determine how you see the other person, thing or situation AND how you experience yourself relative to that person…how you experience ...
Views: 1148 - Domestic Violence Resources – The 5 Essential Resources for Domestic Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Domestic violence help comes in all shapes and sizes. There is the crisis hotline to get you where you need to go ASAP. Then, there are the community domestic abuse support groups that assure you that “you are not alone.” Your domestic violence shelter will give you all the resources for your ...
Views: 1271 - Domestic Violence Resources – Understanding Privileged Communication and Witness Testimony - by Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Privileged communication and expert witness testimony are two areas that battered women and abused men may come to know in their divorce proceedings. However, the way in which these two interact is not always clear. And unfortunately for some the consequences pose a significant loss. This ...
Views: 1107 - Emotional Abuse Characteristics: 5 Significant Subtle Signs - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2009 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Lack of "emotional safety" is the number one indicator of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to your well-being. When you have emotional safety, it's palatable. You can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it's missing, you ...
Views: 7684 - Emotional Verbal Abuse: Signs that Serve to Save Verbal Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2008 from Jeanne King, Ph.D.Women say, I was glad when he hit me, because I finally realized what was on my plate. I finally got it. This is abuse! Do you need the altercations in your home to become physical before you can see them for what they are? If so, you could be making your remedy more difficult, more ...
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