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Articles from Kare Anderson | Selfgrowth.com
- The Personal Cost of Shyness - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2007 from Kare AndersonHas someone nearby been sending you emails rather than calling or meeting you face-to-face? When you do get together, does she or he stand back, avoid holding eye contact, or speaking up? While there are many possible reasons for their behavior, that person may, in fact, be a victim of what ...
Views: 3755 - Keeping Cool While Under Fire - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2007 from Kare Anderson"Keeping Cool While Under Fire" by Kare Anderson Imagine. The number one reason people get fired in the U.S. is anger, andthe number one problem people say they have at work is they do not feelheard and respected. How do we make people feel heard when they are difficult to be around -- and ...
Views: 2317 - What Are You Telling the World? - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2007 from Kare AndersonThe secret is all in understanding a code. It is a most elaborate code that is written nowhere, known by none, and yet understood by all. That secret is how we tell each other, without words, what we really feel. How do other people perceive you, especially upon first meeting you ...
Views: 1735 - Bring Others Closer by Praising What You Want to Flourish - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2007 from Kare AndersonWhen the priest was moved to a new parish he approached he asked his superior to ask for permission, “Would you mind if I smoked while praying?” and was, not too surprisingly, turned down. Some wise people instinctively know they can gain approval by how they ask. Set the stage for people to ...
Views: 1729 - Your Gut Instincts & Ability To Get Along, A Quiz - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2008 from Kare AndersonWhy do we instinctively like some people and find others irritating or worse? What makes us agree, buy, help . . . or not? Do your gut instincts help or hinder your “LQ” – Likeability Quotient? From an expert on gut instincts, gain insights about how to say it better next ...
Views: 1728 - More Helpful Than New Year’s Resolutions - by Submitted on Dec 01, 2018 from Kare AndersonForget making New Year’s resolutions this year. They are notoriously hard to keep. Instead start down a concrete path to make your work and life more meaningful and satisfying. How? Begin by “finding the thread that ties your story together” suggests Pamela Slim in her new book, Body of Work. ...
Views: 1649 - Easy Way to Organize Gatherings for Those Who Share Your Interest - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2009 from Kare AndersonYour hobby or work expertise or belief may be unusual, yet it’s likely that people near you share your interest. Or they may just want to have fun. How can you find those kindred spirits? By hosting an ever-better MeetUp. Also consider start a MeetUp to create a profit center for yourself. Or ...
Views: 1475 - Is Your World “Me” or “Us” Centered? - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2009 from Kare AndersonWe instinctively experience situations as individuals or as part of a group. As David Brooks suggests today, the world is divided into those with an individualist or a collectivist mentality. Guess which group is larger. Freedom to succeed. That powerful American dream attracts millions of ...
Views: 1452 - How We See Ourselves - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2009 from Kare AndersonAt a wedding I attended last Summer on the most southern island of Greece, an American was marrying a Greek woman he met at graduate school. People traveled there from 20 countries. Of the 90 or so guests, all under 30 years of age had visited at least five countries, often for study, work or ...
Views: 1402 - Want Others To Listen? First, Ask Yourself This Question - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2008 from Kare AndersonI don’t know about you but sometimes I take too long to get to the point. Instead of listening, my captive audience goes on a mental vacation. They feel talked “at” rather than “with. “ Especially if something is really important to me or I know too much on the ...
Views: 1397 - How Many Personalities Are Inside You? - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2009 from Kare AndersonThat irritating co-worker you’re stuck sitting by (again!) sees a decidedly different side of you than your best friend does. That’s because you have many people inside of you (no they’re not imaginary). That’s what veteran science writer, Rita Carter discovered as she ...
Views: 1320 - Attract Smarter Support Sooner - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2020 from Kare AndersonTap the Little-Known Secret to First Impressions for Building Likeability Vala Afshar intuitively practices a little-known secret for attracting talented people as friends and colleagues. It’s an obvious truth, once stated. I saw it vividly demonstrated at Pivotcon. Via Twitter, he ...
Views: 1317(1 vote) - Passive Men and Wild, Wild Women - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2019 from Kare AndersonIn his novel, Something Happened, Joseph Heller wrote “I try my best to remember on what terms (my wife) and I parted this morning, or went to sleep last night, in order to know if she is still angry with me for something I did or did not say or do that I a no longer aware of. Is she mad or is ...
Views: 1235 - See Kindness As Your Inoculation Against Anger - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2018 from Kare AndersonWhatever behavior we praise we encourage to flourish in others – especially when they are around us. Whatever we criticize or “simply” snub goes deeper into their consciousness however. Hint: Speak to their positive intent, especially when it appears they may have none. That may be the best way ...
Views: 1101 - Your Surest Path to Greater Success and Friendship - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2018 from Kare AndersonI got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria with ...
Views: 1099 - Be More Valued and Visible by Being Frequently Quoted - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2020 from Kare AndersonAre you quotAble? Or do people stop listening before you stop talking? Being heard and frequently quoted is essential to attracting more opportunities and friendships. Without that talent you may be rich, smart, well-connected, well-intentioned, and hardworking yet you are likely to lose to the ...
Views: 1050 - How We Can Have Fun and Learn Faster Together - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2019 from Kare AndersonFun Way to Learn Faster Together As a kid I spent much of one summer, sitting on the curb in front of my home, watching Mike, the cute boy across the street, riding his bike on daring ramp jumps in his driveway. (My “surprise” bike wouldn’t arrive until my birthday). Then Mike would speed out ...
Views: 1032 - Avoid Seeking Confirming Evidence to Make Smarter Decisions - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2018 from Kare AndersonThis trap is the bias that leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to reinforce a current stance or perspective, but also how we interpret the evidence we ...
Views: 1026 - How Do You Want To Live Your Life Now? - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2019 from Kare AndersonTo support you on your path towards greater mental toughness, former Navy Seal and Rhodes Scholar and author of Resilience, Eric Greitens shared this with me: “If I sat down in your living room and placed a giant bag of jigsaw puzzle pieces on a table in front of you and asked you to put all of ...
Views: 1018 - How We Destroy Relationships - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2019 from Kare AndersonWhen things go wrong, we tend to blind ourselves to other’s feelings. We are more likely to fall into a destructive behavioral trap. Sadly, when we do, we cannot be empathic. We weaken that human bond that’s vital to re-grouping and resilience. These blinding mindsets make us feel dumb, ...
Views: 1009 - How to Handle Criticism with Grace and Honesty - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2019 from Kare AndersonPerhaps one of the most vulnerable of moments is when someone criticizes you. If the person who criticizes you knows you well, and if she makes their comments in front of other people, she can cut deep. The scalpel of her comments can be surgically rapid and close to the bone, more damaging than ...
Views: 976 - Avoid Seeking Confirming Evidence to Make Smarter Decisions - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2018 from Kare AndersonThis trap is the bias that leads us to seek out information to support our existing point of view while avoiding information that contradicts it. This bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence to reinforce a current stance or perspective, but also how we interpret the evidence we ...
Views: 975 - Create More Meaningful and Memorable Conferences - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2019 from Kare AndersonWhat makes a meeting truly stand out from others? It's not necessarily how much money was spent but how many positively memorable experiences the attendee recalls. Many conferences involve a theme, reinforced through a logo, theme, events, and speakers to create an overall "feel" and value ...
Views: 974 - Five Ways Meeting Planners Optimize Their Speakers’ Value - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2018 from Kare AndersonAs a full-time paid speaker, I offer these six proven suggestions for meeting planners to optimize to value and visibility of the speaker — for their attendees and for the speaker: 1. After you hire a speaker, ask that presenter to submit three actionable tips, with titles (under 100 words ...
Views: 966 - Your Surest Path to Greater Success and Friendship - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2018 from Kare AndersonI got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria with ...
Views: 964 - Kindness Can Opens Hearts and Unexpected Opportunities - by Submitted on Oct 07, 2019 from Kare AndersonKindness is often unspoken. “An eye can threaten like a loaded and leveled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. At another time, Emerson wrote, “You cannot do a kindness too ...
Views: 963 - How Our Work Can Become More Productive and Meaningful: 5 Ways - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2019 from Kare Anderson1. Adopt Mutual Mentoring to Accelerate Self-Organizing and Innovation: For starters, use the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr to establish a system that facilitates the connection of mentors and mentees using the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr. Then take the complimentary next step: an under-utilized, no ...
Views: 961 - The Key to a Happier Longer Life + 3 Ways to Cultivate It - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2018 from Kare AndersonIn the longest study of what led men to live happily and successfully to a ripe old age, guess what trait they were most likely to have in common? The lives of 268 men who entered Harvard College in 1937 were tracked for seventy-two years in The Harvard Study of Adult Development. Those who ...
Views: 960 - More Helpful Than New Year’s Resolutions - by Submitted on Dec 01, 2018 from Kare AndersonForget making New Year’s resolutions this year. They are notoriously hard to keep. Instead start down a concrete path to make your work and life more meaningful and satisfying. How? Begin by “finding the thread that ties your story together” suggests Pamela Slim in her new book, Body of Work. ...
Views: 945 - How Our Work Can Become More Productive and Meaningful: 5 Ways - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2019 from Kare Anderson1. Adopt Mutual Mentoring to Accelerate Self-Organizing and Innovation: For starters, use the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr to establish a system that facilitates the connection of mentors and mentees using the Salesforce1 app, Shadowr. Then take the complimentary next step: an under-utilized, no ...
Views: 939 - Gain Greater Impact With & For Others - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2018 from Kare AndersonAttract and serve unexpected allies with different talents and life and work experiences and you are more likely to gain insights that lead to your greater success – and theirs. Bad collaboration is worse than no collaboration,” Collaboration author, Morten T. Hansen emphatically concluded, yet ...
Views: 938 - Don't Worry, Be Happy (Managing Stress) - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2018 from Kare AndersonHere are five fairly simple to take some of the stress out of your life. They don’t always work, yet what does? 1. Problems seldom exist at the level they're expressed. To resolve some conflicts, look for the problem that underlies what you're discussing. Ask yourself where the actual ...
Views: 931 - How You Reveal Yourself Unwittingly By What You Display - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2019 from Kare AndersonDid you know that young males with organized college dorm rooms that have a sports décor tend to be conservative? Or that liberals are more likely to have messy room? Or that displaying inspirational posters sometimes signals a neurotic?” Those are just some of Sam Gosling’s fascinating ...
Views: 926 - How to Attract More Visibility, Apt Allies And Opportunities - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2019 from Kare AndersonShare The Story Others Want To Be In Peter Guber’s advice in Tell to Win shows how stories can build in bragging rights by creating purposeful narratives. Then you can pull others into your story because they can see a role they want to play in that purpose. In their re-telling of your story, ...
Views: 923 - Discover How Spreading Joy Isn’t Just a First-Hand Experience - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2019 from Kare AndersonThe sweet scent of the narcissus plant wafts upstairs to me just like the lingering memory of my uphill neighbors, an always upbeat Irish couple in their early eighties. Stopping off on their daily walk, they knocked on my door early this morning to deliver the plant, their holiday gift, ...
Views: 916 - Recognize Your Life So Far to Enjoy a More Meaningful, Fun One - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2019 from Kare AndersonHow we cobble together the incidents in our lives and create a narrative thread reflects that spin, revealing our hidden personalities and our tendencies suggests psychologist Dan McAdams, author of The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By. Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a ...
Views: 900 - What Holiday Tradition Will You Co-Create This Year? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2018 from Kare AndersonSome startled neighbors who were out walking or at their window yesterday asked why we were carrying a fully-decorated Christmas tree up our steep street in Sausalito, when it was just November. Upon hearing our story, Martin, Jim, Ingrid, Julia and Jacob, joined us, carefully picking up the ...
Views: 877 - Four Healthy Ways to Spur Folks to Keep Agreements They Make - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2019 from Kare Anderson1. Specificity Boosts Clarity and Accountability The more concrete the agreement, the more clear the obligation and the more difficult it is for someone to misunderstand. "Please get right on that" does not create as much clarity nor accountability as, "Please finalize your choice of vendors by ...
Views: 875 - Attract More Customers by Offering Alluring, Unexpected Extras Via Smart Partnerships - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2019 from Kare AndersonSee how forging apt partnerships with other firms that serve the same kind of customers, companies of all sizes can create unexpected benefits and transform customer service from an afterthought into a highlight. 1. Offer a Tantalizing “Extra” Who knows how many people chose to stay at the ...
Views: 871 - Recognize Your Life So Far to Enjoy a More Meaningful, Fun One - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2019 from Kare AndersonHow we cobble together the incidents in our lives and create a narrative thread reflects that spin, revealing our hidden personalities and our tendencies suggests psychologist Dan McAdams, author of The Redemptive Self: Stories Americans Live By. Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a ...
Views: 856 - Proven Way to Make Most Any Bad Situation Better - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2018 from Kare AndersonWhen told to tackle the widespread child malnutrition in Vietnam in 1990 as an employee of Save the Children, Jerry and Monique Sternin could easily have become overwhelmed. Plus the country’s foreign minister told them, “You have six months to make a difference.” Instead of looking at the ...
Views: 853 - Making Smarter Decisions in Buying, Selling or Supporting Others - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2019 from Kare AndersonDavid Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choices “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. ...
Views: 848 - Choose the Feeling You Want to Have - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2020 from Kare AndersonInstead of trying to change your feelings (as cognitive therapy attempts to do), change how you choose to view your thoughts. Practicing this way, we can notice what's without immediately reacting, thus become better to choose how we want to react. Breandan and Emma, the couple up the hill ...
Views: 845(1 vote) - How to Honor Someone in Ways That Uplift Many Others - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2019 from Kare AndersonAfter the priest moved to a new parish he approached his superior to ask, "Would you mind if I smoked while praying?" and was turned down. It is wise for us to learn how to ask for something in a way that enables others to agree. For example, the priest might have said, "Would you mind if I pray ...
Views: 828 - Way to Have a More Adventuresome Time With Others - by Submitted on Jun 23, 2019 from Kare AndersonUnexpected and sometimes enlightening things can happen when sharing a new experience with those who don’t act right, like you. I got unexpected insights when, with two friends, I walked through the Steins Collection of paintings by Matissse, Picasso and other avant-garde painters in bohemian ...
Views: 826 - Be More Frequently Quoted: 10 Tips - by Submitted on May 28, 2019 from Kare AndersonWhoever most vividly characterizes a situation or person usually determines how others see it in their mind’s eye, discuss it, and act on it. Here are ten tips for becoming one of the most frequently quoted experts in your profession, organization, market or your cause. 1. Be Mercifully ...
Views: 824 - Four Healthy Ways to Spur Folks to Keep Agreements They Make - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2019 from Kare Anderson1. Specificity Boosts Clarity and Accountability The more concrete the agreement, the more clear the obligation and the more difficult it is for someone to misunderstand. "Please get right on that" does not create as much clarity nor accountability as, "Please finalize your choice of vendors by ...
Views: 821 - Making Smarter Decisions in Buying, Selling or Supporting Others - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2019 from Kare AndersonDavid Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choices “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. ...
Views: 816 - Getting to Know Someone Better - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2020 from Kare AndersonHint: what’s not revealed is sometimes most revealing. You never really know somebody until you see the choices she makes. As a nurse, you’ve long known that it is usually not the “medical” but the “people” challenges that determine how well you can do your job. We instinctively pigeon hole ...
Views: 815 - Turn Someone’s Anger Into Ease with You - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2020 from Kare AndersonWhen you most want to smash someone in the face or run out of the room, remember this irony. Cooling off someone else’s anger can be a way to actually bring that person closer. Warning: Don’t add fuel to the fire by suggesting that they calm down. Here are five ways to not only dampen their ...
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