There are many cultures in this world and all are aware of the name, ‘cultural differences’. We think we belong to a different region so our likes and dislikes are different. We feel we behave similarly while living in the same group and follow the same religious teachings that each one of us living around us belong to. For example, being a Muslim, we think all Muslims are alike because they share the same religion. Being a Christian, we think all Christians behave in a certain way. Usually people living in one group for a long time, share many things together – they follow the same teachings, cultural aspects, traditions, customs and other trivial ways of life.
Have you ever noticed why we behave in a particular way? Have you ever thought about the reason you reacted that way? Have you ever considered the reasons why you feel in a certain manner? Have you ever noticed the ways in which the other person is different from you? Have you ever seen perceptual differences between you and your partner due to a cultural difference only? Have you ever had a break-up on similar grounds? Have you ever faced a conflict of opinion based on the trivial cultural things? If yes, then please read more.
We, being a feeble human being, are totally dependant to our parents for our well-being and survival. Our brains take the longest time to fully develop in the whole process of growth and development. Meanwhile, our parents' attitude, communication, behavior, reactions, teachings, and their own priorities affect strongly our brains. Till the time we are ready to manipulate the information coming from the outside resources, we have lots of input downloaded already in our brains from our parents. Thus we keep on comparing and analyzing and practicing on what our parents tell us to do.
When we are grown up, we identify ourselves to some family, group of friends, culture, caste, country and other religious and social beliefs. The cruel reality is that in spite of all belongings, we follow our parents' religion. We in one way or the other follow them. We claim something, and do something else. A son, usually adopts the ways of his father in his day to day life, would value the traditions liked by his father, would respect the customs his father used to adopt, would respect his fathers beliefs about life, traditions, religions and thoughts in general. He might not be aware of this. He could negate his reality of his preferences. He might not admit his religion being his father's footsteps, but this is going to be the truth of his life soon.
Likewise, girls behave on exactly the same lines of their mothers. They not only adopt the attitude of their moms, rather beliefs associated to almost all fields of life: social, religious, political, traditional, and personal. Girls in their adulthood, usually run a house on the same pattern their mothers used to have. You can visit both mothers and daughters home to see the truth of the life. You can get a little clue about the mother's house by visiting a daughter's house or vice versa.
Putting aside the exceptional cases, both men and women follow their parental values, beliefs and traditions in their day to day life. Thus, most of the practical education comes from the parents alone.
On the other side, parents blindly follow their children religion means they see their children a perfect human being. They cannot be totally unbiased in their opinion about their children. They cannot judge their children’s traits as an outsider. For them, their children are perfect, beautiful, smart, idealistic and great. They hardly convince themselves to criticize their children truly. They just do not want to find faults in them.
In the old age, parents believe their children are right in their thoughts, beliefs, customs, traditions and priorities. Thus, accept their children’s religion as it is. Though parents do it unconsciously – they are not aware of the fact that they are adopting their children religion day by day. Their main priority is their children and their thoughts – not of others in society. They could talk about other cultures, like them, appreciate them, even love them, but for the adaptation, they would love their children’s values, concepts, and trends in general.
To summarize, we in our childhood belong to our parents for everything from the name to the culture and get educated accordingly, then in our old age, we start following our children’s priorities, their religions, their customs, and traditions. The old traditions to some extent accumulate with the new ones and the new ones assimilate with the old ones with the passage of time. In most parts of our personality, we follow the same path; exceptions are always there to make us deviate from the culture for not more than a few matters.
Thanks
Mona Aeysha, PhD, is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist, have been working as a Teacher, Counselor and Researcher in several institutes of China, Pakistan and Cambodia. Her major areas of interest are: self-esteem, self-concept, conceptual psychology, belief psychology, self psychology, preferential psychology, cultural psychology and women psychology.
You are always welcome to contact her via email if you have any query in this regard.
Thanks
Dr Mona
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