Overcoming Fear Of Rejection as an Introvert

I grew up as an introvert, although I didn't know the term "introvert" until later on in life. Even then, I've thought introvert must be inferior(thanks to the extrovert glorifying trend on the internet). It was until much later that I realised the strength of an introvert.

As a child, I pretty keep everything to myself. I hated crowded functions and only keep to my tight group of friends. As an introvert, I hated socialising. As I grew up, well into my early working years, I realised that I have a phobia of speaking up to superiors. And needless to say, I hated talking to customers and that explains my final job as an R&D engineer where I was holed up in the corner of an office.

Despite performing well in my task, deep down I have the fear of rejection. Fear of ideas being turned down. Fear of being rejected due to my inept social skill itself. Fear of being rejected before I even convey my full message.

Blinded By The Pride Of Perfection..

You see, back then I pride myself in my academical and career achievement. Being rejected equals failure. And failure is something I've never tasted prior to that.

But I realised, even for an introvert, my fear of rejection could one day be the obstacle in my career. Especially when I felt that this fear had worsened. And along with my never-say-die attitude and a naive quest for freedom, I quit my job with the dream of starting up an electronics design firm.

Imagine someone who has never made a sales call in his life, made a sudden transition into self-employment. And that is when I learnt to face rejection, in real life world, one step at a time.

An Introverted Entrepreneur Wannabe..

I was considerably lucky as the first couple of years in self-employment does not require any cold calling due to the nature of the business. (most of my clients are by referrals). The only struggle that I have to face is when submitting bids for jobs. I remembered struggling for half a day having thoughts of "What if my price is too high?" , "What if my bid got rejected?" or similar sort of thoughts.

It was really self-defeating and sad really, as the confidence I've possessed during my working days was nowhere to be seen.

That was nothing compared to what was to come a couple of years later. After attending a business coaching program in order to grow the business, I was required to make cold calling. Although I'm way much better compared to my employment days, cold calling definitely put me right out of comfort zone.

Breaking Through The Fear Of Rejection...

Armed with the script and sitting in front of the phone, I have so many thoughts whispering in my head, bringing up scenarios of how things would fail. Again, it is the fear of rejection rearing up its head again. Remember, I've been lucky so far that jobs came in without having to cold-call. (But I know this would not last forever).

So here's how I did it. I mentally block all thoughts that come in and just made the call. And guess what, it was not as scary as my mind made up. In this case, FEAR is actually False Emotion Appearing Real. After a few calls, I've got the hang of it. I become more confident. And each and every call became easier. (In fact, I was getting a few rejections, but it did not stop my momentum).

The point is, I'm probably not as good as extrovert in socialising or cold calling. But I knew I could do it again. To date, I've not only made sales call but has carried out public speaking, emceeing and writing articles like this. (which I will label you crazy if you asked me to do all these 5 years back).

Being an introvert should never be viewed as a weakness. Instead, there are some strengths of an introvert that is hard to emulate by extroverts. I'll probably write more on this in my coming post.