How We Learned to Think the Way We Do

Kids learn to react to the world by imitating adults’ behaviors. They see how adults act, interact and react with others in the world. Kids also learn how to feel in this way. They learn which feelings to express and which feelings to suppress. People who choose to feel angry, frightened and pessimistic live life feeling badly, while people who choose to feel happy, confident and optimistic live life feeling good.

We are habitual creatures, recreating the emotional circumstances of our home life. The circumstances we have been exposed to we come to identify with inside. The things, both circumstances and feelings, we identify with seems real. It’s always real and true if you believe it. We seek to recreate our childhood happenings because they feels safe, not necessarily good, but safe. Safe is better than the horrific potentials our mind can entertain.

We recreate the personal relationship we had with our parents, both our moms and our dads and each of these relationships can differ greatly. Boys seek a girl like their moms to marry, while girls seek a boy like their dads to marry. Sometimes this is done on a conscious level and other times a subconscious level. Emotional patterns repeat themselves. We can see evidence of this in our friends and family members who choose to divorce one abusive alcoholic only to marry another one. We are creatures of habit.

We talk to ourselves in the same way we were spoken to as children. The outer voices merge into one inner voice. “You are amazing and will change the world or you are stupid and will never amount to anything.” This external talk promotes either limiting or unlimiting ideas in our heads. We are exposed to limiting ideas when we hear,” Boys don’t cry. Girls shouldn’t get their clothes dirty. You don’t do enough. You’re not good enough.” This limiting idea of unworthiness is the most prevalent limiting thought in our heads and is a direct result of how we were parented. It leads to of self-hated, guilt and lack of confidence. These are the feelings of an individual whose life feels bad.

We can also be exposed to unlimiting ideas. You are amazing, powerful and beautiful. Unlimiting ideas release the power in your mind. They create self-love, acceptance, and confidence. These are the feelings of an individual whose life feels good. The truth is what we believe it to be. No matter what type of ideas you were exposed to as a child, our parents did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Patterns of parenting repeat themselves. Your parents faced the same problems and felt the same feelings you do as a parent. Using understanding, awareness and knowledge, you can become a more effective coach for your children. Loving an approving of yourself creates a mindset that leads to an environment for loving and approving of your kids. The pathway to loving and approving is in your mind. This is the same pathway to wisdom and knowledge and is always open.

We create our experiences with our kids just as we create every single experience we encounter in our world. What we give out we get back. In this way, we are ultimately responsible for everything. We create our situations through our thoughts, this is where our power resides. No matter what is said to you or what is done to choose how to you, it’s up to you to decide what to think about it. Peace, balance and harmony in our mind equals peace, balance and harmony in our circumstances.

You view your children like your parents viewed you. This is most likely the same way that you view yourself, unless you’ve taken steps to know more and do better. You were and are either lovable or unlovable, either destined for greatness or up to no good. You felt and feel self-hate or self-love, either ashamed or proud. You mimic your parents.

Match your thoughts to the kind of life you want for your children and for yourself. To have a prosperous life, think prosperous thoughts. To have a joyful life, think joyful thoughts. To have a beautiful life, think beautiful thoughts. Now, this present moment is your point of power.

To begin to use this information with your children, begin by using unlimiting thoughts. Make a simple change which will have a tremendous effect. Each night when you tuck your loved ones into bed, make a commitment to unleash an unlimiting message. Examples include, “You are amazing on the soccer field. You will be a wonderful mother/father when you grow up. You are so kind and compassionate to your sister.” Be as specific as possible with your praise, focusing on a day’s occurrence. Let go of any anger or frustrations which you’ve been harboring as a result of the day’s happenings. Do this with your children as well as yourself each night to unleash the power of the mind.