How To Create A More (W)Holistic Self

Growing up in a strong religious household, spirituality and religion were the only things that were stressed. Granted we all had to go to school and achieve good grades, but it was all for the showy display that says Christian children do well in school and does better than their counterparts who are not Christian minded. I can remember as far back as eight years of age when I played an April fool's Day trick on my father and I received a spanking for telling a lie. Such jokes were not allowed in our house. Did I mention that my Father also had a violent temper and he was an Elder within the Congregation, so his word was law in our house. As children, my sister and I were not allowed to go anywhere that was not school and our place of worship. As I grew my interest in the opposite sex grew also. Suddenly out of the blue boys were interesting, but little did I know that this was not ok until I started talking with my fellow Christian girlfriends about them. Not realizing that they may not have liked me too much or they themselves were told that liking a boy was wrong, you guessed it, they went and reported me to my parents, whom dutifully upholding the "teachings" of the Bible promptly spanked me and then scolded me for disgracing myself and being "loose". Now I was branded within the Kingdom Hall as a wayward girl. Now mind you, this waywardness was not that of a young girl who was involved in "wrongdoings". Instead, I was the girl who had the audacity to speak of her attraction to boys. I was constantly being told to pray and develop a more personal relationship with God. In my mind as a child that translated into I must pray to get rid of these ungodly feelings that I have towards boys. There were times when my illnesses were ignored and I was told that I was either lazy or the illness was in my mind. Once again I prayed for better health and respite from my physical body because I believed that my lack of spirituality was the reason for my poor health. Of course psychological damage, emotional, sexual and physical abuse and living with an alcoholic father and a passive mother was never factored into the equation. Suffice to say I grew up completely confused.

Today, although there are more so-called New-Age religions that are gaining in popularity, the mainstream sect of organized religion teaches ascension to spirituality but nothing on how to create the physical self. Creating an alignment with the spiritual self and the physical is essential if we are to have a balanced and (w)holistic life. We see a large group of religious people struggling with their sexuality and their relationship with their God. It doesn't matter the sexual orientation, there is still a huge divide of the Self that causes individuals to question their own existence on earth in relation to the Divine being - God. I remember there were times when I questioned my own sexuality because I was vilified so much for liking the opposite sex, so my own gender were the ones I was accustomed to when I was developing sexually. I suffered a lot of emotional pain that not even therapy could resolve. I questioned my own sexuality and my orientation. There were nights that I cried profusely because I was scared that I was not of the right Christian minded sexual orientation. Later on I realized that was the reason for a lot of my dramas with men. Not to mention the excruciating pain I felt when men called me unflattering names because I was not interested in them because of their immaturity. Fortunately, I became very good friends with a woman I had met at one of my many jobs. We began talking over the phone and I was lamenting about the many problems I was having regarding my family and my religion. Along with her and another friend who had recommended a book by Iyanla Vanzant entitled, "In the Meantime, Finding the Life You Were Meant to Live" I began to take voyage to discover my creative self and hope that by combining it with my spiritual self, I could create a more holistic and balanced living. It took me a few years to really align myself with my true intent. I spent eight years in what Ms. Vanzant described in her book as being "in the meantime". Living my new life led me to become a Competitive Ballroom Latin Dancer, I created a for-profit business and a non-profit business and I now see endless possibilities for my life. These were things that I had dreamt of doing but did not think that I was allowed either religious wise or individual wise. Now I'm living holistically by doing all the things that I've ever wanted to do and I'm creating new possibilities as I go along. You can create it too by following the methods that I have outlined below:

Re-introducing Me to My Creative Self:

Getting reacquainted with my creative self meant that I had to define my true values. What are my morals and my values? These would be things that would be defined by me and it would mean something to me. The creative self is what you were born with. It is the uniqueness that is you either as a child or as an adult. Few of us were fortunate enough to have this side of us nurtured and acknowledge. Your culture plays a huge factor in how you respond to outside influences. Coupled with the religion factor then what occurs is a huge paralysis of your creative self. Now you are inundated with the why's and how's of you should be rather than just being your unique self and not conform to other notions that is counter-productive to who you are.

Re-Assessing My Conscious Self:

Your conscious self is responsible for how you react to outside influences. That may include your reactions, perceived responsibilities to family, whether that is your parents and your siblings or your husband or wife and children and the In-laws. The conscious self is also the part of you that has a connection to your religion, culture, traditions all of which influences your reactions and actions within your life. The conscious self is also where all the negativities of life are stored. It is important to note that if the creative self is not nurtured and acknowledged it will influence the reactions of the conscious self. This will result in an individual being too emotional or too sensitive or thin-skinned. Of course showing the extreme opposite of these emotions is the conscious self's way of defending and masking their real feelings.

Recognizing My Higher Self:

My esoteric and spiritual sense of being in comparison to my physical existence in this material world was now heightened once my creative and conscious selves were aligned. I am now aware of the energy that surrounds me and the vibrational demands that I was making and seeing and believing them when they came through. All that is divine and powerful is held in the realm of the higher self.

When you get to this state you then want to help others do the same. You will now be living from a place of genuine joy and no one can take that away except you. There will be times when you slip up but it won't be for long. Forgive yourself and move on while knowing that you are constantly growing and evolving. With more energy, you can tackle more each day and get more enjoyment after the workday is done. Be well rested. When you live your life according to what you truly value, you feel most like yourself. You are excited, energized, productive, and at peace. Things begin to seem effortless.

###