Building Self Esteem in Chilren: 10 Days to Self Esteem

Let's be right up front about this. There is no way that can happen! Anyone who says they have a course and a 10 day plan to give you sound self esteem is just plain wrong. Self esteem development is a process. You have to do it with someone else because it is too hard to see yourself truly and delightedly when you feel bad about yourself in the first place. For a child this special person will be a parent, grandparent or carer who just loves that child no matter what and can convey that unconditional accepting love to them. This is why there is no way a ’10 day plan’ will work. Self esteem building for adults and children can, and does, work – but it needs a mind set and a willingness to change and the right person to do it with and it takes a lot longer than 10 days.

If you are bringing up a young child it is important for you to know that, just like a snowflake or a fingerprint, every child is unique in their own special way. Every child has a unique way of feeling, thinking, and interacting with others. Some children are shy, while others are outgoing; some are active, while others are calm; some are fretful, while others are easy-going. As a loving and nurturing parent or carer, it's your job to encourage them to embrace their uniqueness and celebrate their individual qualities. They cant do that unless you do.

Allow children to express themselves through their interests. They may find a creative outlet in theatre, dancing or art, or they may be exceptionally talented in the sciences. Encourage them to love and enjoy what they like to do, what interests them, and what makes them happy. Help them realize that they don't need to worry about being 'like everyone else.'

Teach children to make positive choices, and praise them for good deeds, behaviours and positive traits they possess. Encourage them to become actively involved in their community, and introduce them to activities that promote a sense of cooperation and accomplishment. Be firm and fair. Show a cooperative, loving and united front with your partner or other adults around when it comes to making rules to that there is consistency and fairness in your household. Children really pick up on 'unfairness' and don't feel good or safe around it.

Accept and celebrate children's uniqueness. Remember that children are individuals. Allow children to have their own personal preferences and feelings, which may be different from your own. And finally, encourage children to be true to themselves by doing the same. Show children how to make positive choices with the choices you make, and show them that nobody is perfect and you too make mistakes. Show children that mistakes can be a great learning experience, and that they should not be ashamed or embarrassed about making them. A friend of mine always used to say to her son 'what a wonderful mistake you have just made. It helps me so much to see how I can help you differently'. If you do all of that your child will have sound self esteem and you will see why there is no way this is a 10 day plan!