A System For Prioritizing Your Relationships

There is only so much time in the day. That is why it is critical that you take the time to prioritize which relationships you will invest in. The following is one method you can use to prioritize your relationships.

Twice a year, print out your entire contact database (from your Outlook, Act, Palm, Blackberry, and so forth). Go through each individual contact and ask yourself the following questions:

• When did I last speak to or see him?
• Is she still at the same company, location, and function?
• Is this person still significant to my goals and objectives or someone whom, similar to my closet, I have neglected to clear out?
• Is this a person in whom I have previously invested with no return on that relationship investment or is it someone whom I have ignored and need to make a priority in the next six months?

Please note that I am not advocating discarding people simply because they are no longer of value to you! Instead, I am suggesting that we are all busy and pressed for time. You simply cannot invest your limited resources (time, effort, and capital) on everyone equally. If, in any given day, you could interact with 50 people, for example, how would you prioritize which 50 out of the hundreds, if not thousands, you know? Some would simply say, “The 50 people I have to deal with at any given time.” Unfortunately, this is very narrow-minded, because many of those are situational relationships that will change as your circumstances vary. Although we have addressed the relationships you need, it is also critical to point out the fundamental value in proactively seeking to understand relationships others need with you. Are they momentary or enduring and how can you cultivate those relationships accordingly?

Here’s a question for you: What was that really important project you were working on in the Fall of 2000? Conversely, who was that manager who really invested in you, who cared about your personal and professional development and took you under his wing to make sure you turned out okay? Most people don’t recall those critical project deadlines or deals, but they will never forget the key people who have molded their careers, characters, and lasting relationships.

We have become such a transient society that many of us lose touch with over 90 percent of the people we work with when we change jobs or move to another city. We get bogged down with the day-to-day grind of our new roles and simply forget the people with whom we spent hours, if not days, weeks, and months on projects, those whom we really appreciated getting to know.

The good news is the old friends don’t go away – they simply fade. Google them. Call someone else you know who may have stayed in touch with that person. Find them and reconnect, reengage, and create a reason to see each other again whether they are on the next street, in the next town, or clear across the country.

Categorize your current relationships. Who are the influential people you already know? How long have you known them? How much time and effort do you invest to nurture those relationships? Are you leveraging the most quantifiable value from each? You can’t improve what you can’t measure. Begin by categorizing the relationships you already have. Don’t forget – relevancy and diversity are the two most valuable assets in your Relationship Bank.

Build and nurture your key relationships. Once you have categorized your existing relationships, you can set out on a course to cultivate and leverage the critical ones in which you’ve deemed it suitable to invest. What did you bring to the table for your most valuable relationships? Expand your bank by getting involved in diverse projects, teams, and organizations. Openly share your goals and objectives and solicit best practices from those you trust and respect. Share best practices as often as possible.

Make bank account enhancements. Like the clothes in your closet, do an inventory of your Relationship Bank every year. Prioritize those who have invested in your achievements and de-prioritize those in whom you have invested but didn’t see a return on your relationship investment. Proactively seek out those of higher stature, subject matter expertise, or different focus.