Ever get close to your goal, and then find yourself four steps behind? Like you just about reach your financial target and then whammo! The car needs fixing. Or your training is finally on track and poof! You get an injury. Or you meet the nicest guy and kabam! Turns out he's got another girl somewhere.
The problem isn't outside of you. There is no 'conspiracy' of failure dooming you to endless falling short of your goals.
It's called an Upper Limit Problem, as outlined by Gay Hendricks in his book, "The Big Leap".
An Upper Limit Problem (ULP) is your threshold for good things. It's the comfort zone you've created out of habit. Any pushing beyond that limit causes a snap-back to the status quo, otherwise experienced as self-sabotage, or random acts of the universe.
The good news is that your ULP is treatable.
My Upper Limit Problem is these last darn 4 kilos. I've had a great body transformation these last 12 months, but these last 4 kilos are still hanging around. Argh!
The problem is not that I don't know what to do. My trainer tells me every week what to eat and how to exercise. The problem is that I don't do what he tells me.
It's called self-sabotage. And it ain't pretty. It's the chewy chocolate chip cookies I just had to bake for visitors (and end up mostly in my tummy, not theirs). It's the delicious glass of wine (or three) I just had to share with my husband because he opened a nice bottle.
Rubbish! My ULP is not ready for a 4kg lighter body. It's going into the unknown zone and my inner gremlins are freaked out by the potential for change - so they take command of the ship and an otherwise strong, focused, and disciplined captain becomes a cookie monster.
So it's time for emergency intervention and an expansion of the upper limit zone.
How to expand your Upper Limit:
1. Face your demons. What are you so scared of anyway by achieving your goals? Success can be frightening. e.g. There is a lot of responsibility in maintaing a stripper a**. People might stare at my butt. People might give me compliments. I might be besieged by jealous girlfriends (I've actually been called a b***h once for losing weight - no joke!)
2. Write a new story. Once you reveal what is driving your gremlins - fears based on silly stories - you can then work to turn them around. Amp up why you want your goal by filling a whole page about why it's awesome for you, and for others. Next, on the other side of the page, write down why you know it's possible you can achieve it.
3. Rehearse. New beliefs mean new experiences which mean a new upper limit. Visualise your goal with emotional enthusiasm. Feel how good it is to stand in the achievement of your goal.
4. Practice receiving. Many ULPs are a result of not feeling worthy or deserving of the goal. Write a page of 'I am worthy' statements for a few days in a row. Say thank you when people give you compliments. Seek out pleasurable experiences just for you: pedicure, massage, bath, a nap.
5. Appreciate the bazongas out of yourself. You are fine and wonderful just the way you are, four extra kilos and all. Focus appreciation on all that you are right now, all that you have achieved and experienced already. Honour yourself rather than beat yourself up for what you have not yet achieved.
Coach's Challenge:
Where are you experiencing an Upper Limit Problem? Gently and lovingly choose to release it and step into something new.
Leadership Coach, Speaker, and Author Zoe Routh works with women in business to enhance their personal effectiveness and leadership capacity for global effect. For free tips on how to become a more effective leader that will save you time, money, energy, and stress, go to http://www.innercompass.com.au
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