What To Do When You’re Having One of “Those” Days

As a Law of Attraction coach, it’s rare that I ask people to deliberately conjure negative feelings, but today is an exception.

I was sitting on an airplane yesterday on my way back from a trip, along with a fellow passenger who was very clearly having one of “those” days. I could go into detail, but there is really no need; we've all been there – especially when traveling, and especially when traveling with young kids. Even when he wasn't complaining to his wife, annoyance seemed to radiate from this man and continued throughout the entire five hour flight.

In response to this, I did what I always remind myself to do when I encounter a “problem”: I put my energy into imagining every possible solution. As I did this on the airplane, it clarified for me an important aspect of the manifestation process that I haven’t written or talked too much about, and which I would like to now pass on to you:

Let’s say that you – like this man – are having one of “those” days. You might be frustrated that things are too slow (or too busy) at work. You could be feeling impatient because you haven’t yet met the right guy (or girl). Maybe you’re feeling angry at yourself because you still haven’t dropped those extra pounds. Chances are, you probably also understand that negative emotion like anger and frustration and impatience don’t really serve us, because the more upset we are, the more things we find to become frustrated about. It’s a downward spiral.
So what to do?

Some might say the thing to do is to shift your mood by focusing on something that you do feel good about; something that is going well, or that brings your joy. Depending on the strength of your negative mood, however, your reaction to this advice will range from appreciation and openness to cynicism, greater discouragement, or even downright rage.
(I certainly was not about to tell the man on the airplane to “reach for a better-feeling thought!” :)

The less attached we are to a negative state of being, the more able we are to shift it. When our upset is mild, we’re able to focus on the positive aspects of ourselves and our lives; we manage to think of a way to channel our frustration productively; or we remind ourselves of why we want to create the outcomes we are working toward, and draw motivation and inspiration from that vision.

It’s one of Life’s little ironies – to say the least – that the happier we are, the easier we can find ways to become even happier, and the more discouraged, depressed, or angry we feel, the harder it is to put our awareness on anything other than our own immediate discomfort. Sometimes all we can see, feel, or think about in moments like these is the negative emotion. Intellectually, we know that we have other choices, and that the experience of satisfaction, contentment, and gratitude are as available to us as they have ever been, but emotionally, our access to these experiences is limited.
As someone who has been studying, applying and teaching universal laws for the better part of two decades, I have found that in moments like these, the most useful shift we can make is not to reach too quickly for a happier thought. In fact, when negative thoughts and feelings have a stronghold in our awareness, the old “fake it ‘til you make it” philosophy can actually backfire: If we are not well established in a better feeling place but try to act as though we are, the universe is not fooled. Instead of reaching for a feeling of joy, or happiness, or inspiration, we are better served by reaching for a feeling of relief. To do this, we simply need to drop our resistance.

Resistance is the common denominator in all negative emotions. When we find ourselves overwhelmed by an unwanted feeling, resisting that feeling only gives it more power. The way to gain power over the feeling is to drop our resistance to what is. So it’s a bad day? So we are not yet where we want to be? So we didn't get it all done? The faster we can accept the situation, let ourselves off the hook, and make the best of exactly where we find ourselves in any given moment, the more space we open up inside ourselves – space which will eventually attract a better feeling emotion.

When we are having one of “those” days, our intention is not to expend energy trying to create positive forward momentum, but rather to slow down and stop the negative momentum. Anytime we find ourselves headed in a direction that does not please us, the most effective thing we can do is drop the oars and stop rowing the proverbial boat up-steam.