What Should I Do?

"What should I Do?" is a question we ask ourselves often. Sometimes it can be a few times a day about trivial things. Things such as, what you should do about the dinner that you accidentally burnt, or should I do the morning yoga class or the afternoon one. Other times it will be a lot more significant, as in “What should I do with my life?” or “What should I do with this relationship?”

This can lead to disturbing times. Have you ever been up late, tossing and turning, trying to work out what you should do? You tried talking to friends and family but they didn’t seem to understand it from your point of view. Perhaps you even couldn’t talk to anyone because you found the problem was too personal. So, what is the next step? How can you overcome this problem?

As a certified Life Coach, I was trained to guide people through their problems, overcome the obstacles and move them forward to a solution. I had a secret tool, that no matter what their issue, we could result in an action plan to resolve their problem. It is this secret tool that thousands of Life Coaches use, that I want to share with you. Hopefully by the end of this article you will be able to use the simple four steps to find your answers.

The secret is called the GROW model. It was created by Sir John Whitmore and it is a process in which we analyse a problem from all angles, ask ourselves questions that trick our subconscious to find the truth and come out with a plan to move forward. It doesn’t matter how many times I have used this, I still surprise myself with the results I get.
There is just one thing you have to ensure that you do to have success. That is giving in to the questions and completely answering them, rather than thinking “Oh I thought of that already” or “That won’t work”. Actually let yourself go with the process fully and with your entire brain. You might be surprised as to how it goes.

So what is the GROW model? It actually is an acronym that stands for Goal, Reality, Options and Way Forward. Let me go through them each with you.

In the first section, GOAL, you breakdown your issue from the problem, to the goal you want to achieve. So, for example, if your problem is that you can’t lose weight no matter what program you have tried. The goal might actually be “I have solved my issue with weight loss”. The key here is to find a simple goal, which is written in the positive, present tense and that gets to the core of the issue. Just writing “I have lost weight” wasn’t going to cut it here, as you have already tried that, it is about addressing the actual problem. Once you have established a goal, you need to assess the reality that surrounds this goal.

In REALITY, you need to list what has worked in your favour when trying to achieve the goal before, as well as what hasn’t worked. Write down what is showing you that you have a problem. Write down what is missing from your reality that would help in this situation. What are the obstacles that have stopped you before? Really analyse this reality. When doing this, you may discover that the original goal you wrote down isn’t the core problem. At the end of this section it is your chance to adjust the goal if needed.

The next section is the fun part - OPTIONS. You have to open all doors, windows and ideas of the mind. I like to call it the “freedom brainstorm”. Stripping away ALL previous excuses, thoughts and limitations you need to write at least 20 things you can do that will bring you just one step closer to achieving your goal. If you get to 10 and feel like you have finished, this is the MOST important time not to finish! This is the time to stretch and force your mind to go deep into your subconscious for ideas. Even if you think they are silly, write them down – as it is often those silly ones that allow great ones to come after them. A couple of great questions to ask yourself here, are: “If I knew the answer, what would it be?” (this actually works a lot, surprisingly!) Next, think about who you look up to that has achieved this goal – what would they do?, If money or time was no problem – what could you do?. If you had no excuses or weaknesses what would you do? And finally, if your best friend had the same problem – what would you suggest to them?

From here, you need to pick the best option you came up with, pick one that you know you will benefit from. This final section, called WAY FORWARD, is taking this option and writing step-by-step action plan as to what you are going to do, when you are going to do it, so it is a simple solution for you to achieve this goal. For example, if you decided that taking meditation classes was an option to help you be more calm in your relationship, your action steps would be: 1. Research meditation classes, 2. Book three of the ones that resonate with me the most, within the next fortnight. 3. Take the classes and pick my favourite. 4. Pay for a month subscription and go everyday for 10days in a row. 5. Write down the noticed benefits. 6. Continue with new meditation habit.

The GROW model has been researched and created so that the order of steps and how you look at your problem, gives you the highest likelihood of getting results. Give into the process, allow yourself the best possibility of success and then leap into your true potential! Next time you ask yourself “What Should I Do?” just GROW!