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Articles from Rick Hanson | Selfgrowth.com
- Is There Enough? - by Submitted on Dec 26, 2016 from Rick HansonOne slice of the pie of life feels relaxed and contented. And then there is that other slice, in which we feel driven and stressed. Trying to get pleasures, avoid pains, pile up accomplishments and recognitions, be loved by more people. Lose more weight, try to fill the hole in the heart. Slake ...
Views: 1310 - Are We Really So Separate? - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2016 from Rick HansonYour brain evolved in three stages (to simplify a complex process): Reptile - Brainstem, focused on AVOIDING harm Mammal - Limbic system, focused on APPROACHING rewards Primate - Cortex, focused on ATTACHING to "us" With a fun use (to me, at least) of animal themes, the first JOT in ...
Views: 1249 - Accept Difficulity - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Rick HansonSometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ...
Views: 1241 - Are We There Yet? - by Submitted on Dec 28, 2015 from Rick HansonWe spend so much of our time trying to get somewhere. Part of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals - including us - have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future. It's certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, ...
Views: 1230 - Busy, Busy? - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2016 from Rick HansonThis practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself with knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.) Sometimes you can really feel ...
Views: 1223 - Who Are You Resisting? - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2016 from Rick HansonI admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ...
Views: 1211 - Down Deep, Do You Feel At Ease? - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2016 from Rick HansonI've always liked lizards. Growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, I played in the foothills near our home. Sometimes I'd catch a lizard and stroke its belly, so it would relax in my hands, seeming to feel at ease. In my early 20's, I found a lizard one chilly morning in the mountains. ...
Views: 1169 - Are You Full to the Rim? - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2016 from Rick HansonOnce upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar's cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto the table, yet she kept pouring and pouring. ...
Views: 1162 - Are You All Over The Place? - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2016 from Rick HansonGravity and entropy are powerful processes in the natural world. Gravity draws things together, toward a center, while entropy scatters them into disorder. In much the same way, in our own lives, some things bring us to center, while others disturb and disperse us. In terms of centering, be ...
Views: 1157 - What’s Your Deepest Nature? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2017 from Rick HansonThroughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad? Recently, science is beginning to offer a persuasive answer. When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or ...
Views: 1153 - Are You Thinking Too Much? - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2017 from Rick HansonThe traditional saying that's this week's practice has been sinking in for me lately. Thoughts have been swirling around like a sandstorm about work, things I've been reading, household tasks, finances, concerns about people, a yard that needs mowing, loose ends, projects, etc. etc. The other ...
Views: 1148 - Are You Holding Onto Feeling Wronged? - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2015 from Rick HansonFirst, it has two distinct meanings: * To give up resentment or anger * To pardon an offense; to stop seeking punishment or recompense Here, I am going to focus on the first meaning, which is broad enough to include situations where you have not let someone off the hook morally or ...
Views: 1147(1 vote) - Who are you, deep down? - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2013 from Rick HansonFor many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that "I am a good person." We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, act ethically - but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah! We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I once ...
Views: 1140(1 vote) - Are You Getting Rope Burn? - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2016 from Rick HansonAs a rock climber and a parent, I know some physical kinds of clinging are good - like to small holds or small hands! But clinging as a psychological state has a feeling of tension in it, and drivenness, insistence, obsession, or compulsion. As experiences flow through the mind - seeing, ...
Views: 1136 - Are some things getting better? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2015 from Rick HansonThere are always things that are getting worse. For example, over the past year, you probably know someone who has become unemployed or ill or both, and there's more carbon in the atmosphere inexorably heating up the planet. But if you don't recognize what's improving in your own life, then ...
Views: 1133 - Are You Feeling Unneeded Pain? - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2018 from Rick HansonPainful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish - and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart, anger can highlight injustices, fear can alert you to real threats, and remorse can help you take the high road next time. But is there really any shortage of ...
Views: 1129 - What's Left Out? - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2016 from Rick HansonWhen I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view, are driven ...
Views: 1126 - Could it crack? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2015 from Rick HansonThe truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles, many parts. One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it's El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father. Another part of the truth is that things bruise, tear, erode, ...
Views: 1123 - Are You Exaggerating Sticks While Downplaying Carrots? - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2017 from Rick Hanson"Tell the truth." It's the foundation of science, ethics, and relationships. But we have a brain that evolved to tell lies to help us survive. As I've written before, over several hundred million years our ancestors: Had to avoid two kinds of mistakes: thinking there's a tiger in the ...
Views: 1122 - Can You Be With The Whole Of Your Psyche? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2017 from Rick HansonWhen you're young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved. But as life goes along, most people pull back from major parts of their psyche. Perhaps a swamp of ...
Views: 1121 - Are You Breathing? - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2017 from Rick Hanson[If for you the breath is associated with trauma and discomfort, you probably shouldn't try this practice in its form below. But you might adapt it to something that is more nurturing for you, such as a saying or image.] Breathing brings you home. Body and mind twine together in the breath. ...
Views: 1111 - Can You Stay Open To The Pain Of Others? - by Submitted on May 23, 2016 from Rick HansonHumans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.) Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of ...
Views: 1104 - Are You Feeling Cross? - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1099 - Are You Feeling Unneeded Pain? - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2015 from Rick HansonPainful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish - and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart, anger can highlight injustices, fear can alert you to real threats, and remorse can help you take the high road next time. But is there really any shortage of ...
Views: 1096 - Do you believe in love? - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2015 from Rick HansonTake a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green growing things. You can't see air, but it's always available for you. Love is a lot like the air. It may be hard to see - but it's in you and all around you. In ...
Views: 1094 - Are You Nurturing Your Body? - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2016 from Rick HansonWhy? [Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture.] The easiest and usually most effective way to replenish your body is through good nutrition. Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution - a diet of mainly ...
Views: 1088 - Turning a Negative Nelly Into a Positive Polly. - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2013 from Rick HansonI’ve been talking about ways to Hardwire Your Happiness on the blog lately. So I thought it would be great to give you a sense of how it feels to take in the good. If you are someone who usually focuses on the negative experiences in the world you can turn that around over time by Taking in the ...
Views: 1088(3 votes) - Can You Come Home To Yourself? - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2017 from Rick HansonMeditation is to the mind what aerobic exercise is to the body. Like exercise, there are many good ways to do it and you can find the one that suits you best. Studies have shown that regular meditation promotes mindfulness (sustained observing awareness), whose benefits include decreased ...
Views: 1087 - Are You Stressed or Upset? - by Submitted on May 02, 2016 from Rick HansonThere I was recently, standing in the shower, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn't find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal ...
Views: 1084 - Do You Care? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2015 from Rick HansonCompassion is essentially the wish that beings not suffer - from subtle physical and emotional discomfort to agony and anguish - combined with feelings of sympathetic concern. You could have compassion for an individual (a friend in the hospital, a co-worker passed over for a promotion), ...
Views: 1073 - Are You Working Together? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1071 - Feeling A Little Sour? - by Submitted on Feb 29, 2016 from Rick HansonTone matters. I remember times I felt frazzled or aggravated and then said something with an edge to it that just wasn't necessary or useful. Sometimes it was the words themselves: such as absolutes like "never" or always," or over-the-top phrases like "you're such a flake" or "that was ...
Views: 1068 - Are You Self-Nurturing? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1063 - Are You Doing Too Much? - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2017 from Rick HansonYou may have seen the old Mickey Mouse movie in which he is working at a conveyor belt in a factory. More and more widgets come at him that he has to handle, and he gets increasingly frazzled as he struggles to keep up. Do you ever feel the same way? Think about all the dishes, emails, ...
Views: 1061 - Got Cheese? - by Submitted on Feb 15, 2016 from Rick HansonAs the nervous system evolved, your brain developed in three stages: Reptile - Brainstem, focused on avoiding harm Mammal - Limbic system, focused on approaching rewards Primate - Cortex, focused on attaching to "us" Since the brain is integrated, avoiding, approaching, and attaching ...
Views: 1061 - Do You Accept The Gift? - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2018 from Rick HansonLife gives to each one of us in so many ways. For starters, there’s the bounty of the senses – including chocolate chip cookies, jasmine, sunsets, wind singing through pine trees, and just getting your back scratched. What does life give you? Consider the kindness of friends and family, ...
Views: 1056(1 vote) - Do You Bear a Grudge? - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2017 from Rick HansonGoodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots at you in her mind? What does it feel like to take potshots of ...
Views: 1055 - Are You Taking Care Of Yourself? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1051 - Do You Got To? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2016 from Rick HansonWe're pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, including emotional reactions, compelling desires, "shoulds," and internalized ...
Views: 1051 - What makes you feel threatened? - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Rick HansonOn a previous blog at the Huffington Post, I used the example of Stephen Colbert's satirical "March to Keep Fear Alive" as a timely illustration of a larger point: humans evolved to be fearful - since that helped keep our ancestors alive - so we are very vulnerable to being frightened and even ...
Views: 1044 - Did You Truly Choose This Path? - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2017 from Rick HansonThe human body has about 100 trillion cells (plus another ten quadrillion microscopic critters hitching a ride, most of them beneficial or harmless). Each one of your cells has aims - goals, in a sense - controlled by its DNA: cells conduct processes aimed at particular functions, like building ...
Views: 1042 - Is Your Mind Wandering? - by Submitted on May 17, 2016 from Rick HansonMoment to moment, the flows of thoughts and feelings, sensations and desires, and conscious and unconscious processes sculpt your nervous system like water gradually carving furrows and eventually gullies on a hillside. Your brain is continually changing its structure. The only question is: Is ...
Views: 1037 - Juggling Bricks? - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2016 from Rick HansonI had a lightbulb moment recently: I was feeling stressed about all the stuff I had to do (you probably know the feeling). After this went on for a while, I stepped back and kind of watched my mind, and could see that I was thinking of these various tasks as things, like big rocks that were ...
Views: 1037 - Speak From Your Heart. - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2017 from Rick HansonOne Christmas I hiked down into the Grand Canyon, whose bottom lay a vertical mile below the rim. Its walls were layered like a cake, and a foot-high stripe of red or gray rock indicated a million-plus years of erosion by the Colorado river. Think of water - so soft and gentle - gradually ...
Views: 1031 - Friend or Foe? - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Rick HansonFriendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive. Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, ...
Views: 1028 - Can You Take a Moment? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture - a book written for mothers - focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ...
Views: 1027 - Wishing well? - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2017 from Rick HansonLately, I've been wondering what would be on my personal list of top five practices (all tied for first place). You might ask yourself the same question, knowing that you can cluster related practices under a single umbrella, your list may differ from mine, and your practices may change over ...
Views: 1027 - Is It Hard? - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2016 from Rick HansonSometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ...
Views: 1024 - When Is It “Time To Fold ‘em?” - by Submitted on May 15, 2017 from Rick HansonMost people, me included, are holding onto at least one thing way past its expiration date. It could be a belief, perhaps that your hair is falling out and you are ugly and unlovable as a result, that you can’t say what you really feel in an intimate relationship, or that you must lose ten ...
Views: 1017 - What Are Your Intentions Toward Others? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2016 from Rick HansonBenevolence is a fancy word that means something simple: good intentions toward living beings, including oneself. This goodwill is present in warmth, friendliness, compassion, ordinary decency, fair play, kindness, altruism, generosity, and love. The benevolent heart leans toward others; it ...
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