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Articles from Bryce Kaye | Selfgrowth.com
- When Empathy Becomes Codependence - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeThere's a joke I once heard about codependence: How can you tell if a drowning woman, is codependent? Answer: Someone else's life passes in front of her eyes. Of course, the female gender holds no monopoly on codependence but I report the joke as it was told to me by a "recovering" person in AA. ...
Views: 1596 - Wise Mistakes in Marriage and Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeFor a good while, I've had to talk to numerous people about how to let go of harmful relationships. Getting out of harmful relationships has been a very hot topic in the press for several years. The topic seems relevant to the needs of many. However, there is a danger to such a negative outlook. ...
Views: 1443(1 vote) - Letting Go of a Bad Marriage or Relationship - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeHaving worked with thousands of relationships, I have a few tips for those of you want to cut your losses and leave a bad one. First of all, let's dispense with the notion of immediate "friendship." If you've been struggling with a destructive relationship, then you're going to need more ...
Views: 3888(1 vote) - Negotiating for Space in Relationships and Marriage - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce Kaye"I need some space!" is a familiar expression to most of us, either from the giving or receiving end. I suspect that more women have heard this expression from men than vice-versa. This is probably because more men adopt the evader role in the pursuer-evader dance of boundary-troubled ...
Views: 1594(1 vote) - The Option of Climbing Into Love - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeAhhh, that feeling! Your spirit soars. You feel like you're being lifted higher and higher. If feels so good it must be right. Right? Maybe you'd better watch out for those cruel rocks below! How many of us have taken that flight, only to plummet to despair when our illusions are shattered. ...
Views: 1321(1 vote) - Misguided Hope in Marriage and Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce Kaye"Love is the most powerful force in the universe." Most of us actually believe that, if love is strong enough, it will create a healthy relationship in addition to changing the course of rivers and moving mountains. Forgive my indulgence in cynicism but the parallel is appropriate. For some ...
Views: 2261(1 vote) - When Trust Is Not Enough in a Relationship - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce Kaye"Trust". It's one of those sacred words in relationship lingo that automatically projects an aura of goodness and wholesomeness. Conversely, "mistrust" seems to reek of evil and pathology. If you ever want to evoke visceral and mindless reaction from someone, just ask "Don't you trust me?" Most ...
Views: 1540 - Our Most Cherished Myths About Love - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeIn working with thousands of couples over the years, I have found certain themes to emerge again and again. Three of the most frequent themes are really myths about the nature of loving. As myths, they can be very destructive to intimacy. They lead to a misguided effort to create the illusion of ...
Views: 1431 - The Paradox of Intimacy in a Healthy Marriage - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeTo many of us, the struggle for intimacy may seem just as paradoxical. Most of us want to be intimate, to feel emotionally connected with another. At the same time, we want to be independent and self-sufficient. This conflict and tension is at the core of what it means to be human. To emphasize ...
Views: 3181(1 vote) - The Voyage to Intimacy on a Nautical Marriage Retreat - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeThey called from their remote fishing village in British Columbia. They had been on the precipice of a divorce but had backed away in horror after getting a closer look at all the damage that would have followed. They were willing to try the radical alternative of a private seven-day sailing ...
Views: 1827(1 vote) - Character Traits That Promote Intimacy and Avoid Marriage Problems - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeOver the past 35 years, I have seen thousands of couples in marriage counseling. I thought it might be interesting to list out the personal traits and values of the most competent partners who do the best at maintaining their relationships. Instead of taking your partner's inventory I would ...
Views: 1484(1 vote) - Cultivating Spirituality Without the Baggage of Religion - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeIt starts with a single question. It's a deceptively simple question: Do you want to live a meaningful life? The answer seems ridiculously obvious. You probably think "Yes. Of course." It doesn't require reflection and most people stop their line of thinking right there. But if you ponder the ...
Views: 1936 - All In The Name of Honesty - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeHow many times has each of us received an emotional wound followed by the justification, "I'm only being honest!" "Honesty" is like other sacrosanct words like "love", "unselfish", and "caring" that have the ability to put people's forebrains to sleep. The mere utterance of the word has the ...
Views: 1404 - Spiritual Transcendence of the Quantum Self - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeI can recall the moment with utmost clarity even though it occurred nearly 40 years ago when I was 23 years old. I remember how my breathing quickened and my body surged with excitement as the car headlight beams illuminated the huge buck deer standing on its hind legs with its neck stretched up ...
Views: 1929 - Beautiful Anger in Marriage and Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeAnger. Isn't that the emotion that wrecks relationships? Terrifies children? Provokes violence? How can anyone say anything positive about it? For many of us who have grown up in dysfunctional families, trying to appreciate anger may seem like extolling the virtues of migraines. Let's first ...
Views: 1132(1 vote) - Authoring the Colors of Our Own Spirituality - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeOn August 8th, 1999 I received the call from my mother: "Bryce, it's happened." My father had died after his long struggle with bladder cancer. It was hardly unexpected but I still felt profound grief. We had a week to prepare for the funeral but I had been preparing in other ways for at least ...
Views: 1475 - Beyond Equality in Marriage and Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeThere is a useful term that one hears relative to investments but is rarely mentioned when discussing relationships. The term is "equity." We more often hear people discuss "equality" in relationships. Unfortunately, equality is not nearly as constructive a concept for guiding a couple to ...
Views: 1063(1 vote) - Due Diligence Responsibilities for a Healthy Marital Relationship - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeHaving seeing thousands of couples in therapy and marriage retreats, I finally decided to create a crib sheet that outlines the most fundamental responsibilities that emotionally balance a long-term relationship. Many people think that a solid marriage involves closeness without anger or ...
Views: 1110(1 vote) - Deciphering the Enigma in Human Relationships & Marriage - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2012 from Bryce KayeI could tell that Frank and Sandy had been "bad" the moment they entered my office. Perhaps it was their subdued attitude as if they were bearing a heavy secret. It didn't take long for them to confess even though having sex isn't exactly a mortal sin for a married couple. "Um... We broke ...
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