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Articles from Daniela Roher | Selfgrowth.com
- Marriage a la Tom Cruise? - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2012 from Daniela RoherToday in the paper there was an article about Tom Cruise and Kate Holmes getting divorced. This news, in and by itself, wouldn't have been very surprising, given the high rate of divorce in Hollywood. What was unusual about it, however, were its circumstances. The reporter speculated that the ...
Views: 1516(1 vote) - Step into Fall - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2012 from Daniela RoherA few days ago, the 22nd of September, marked officially the first day of autumn. Although today seems to be pretty similar to yesterday, or any day last week or the week before when it was still summer, somehow there seems to be a difference between then and now, though not quite discernible at ...
Views: 2421 - Lost Trust in Your Partner? CORE Strategies Help You Regain It - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2012 from Daniela RoherLoss of trust in a love relationship can come about as a result of infidelity, a partner lying about money, one partner failing to be a loyal ally when needed, and many other ways. Regardless of the cause, when couples are faced with the dilemma of rebuilding trust after a betrayal, there are ...
Views: 1680(1 vote) - When as the last time you told your partner you loved him/her? - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2012 from Daniela RoherI remember a couple, old friends of mine, who had been married for over 25 years. They had raised a family; had made major financial decisions together; had achieved common goals throughout their marriage and, I thought, were solidly attached to one another for the foreseeable future… Until, ...
Views: 1471(1 vote) - Couples Therapy: “…But My Problems are Different…” - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2012 from Daniela RoherAt times people wonder how a stranger – i.e. a psychotherapist or a counselor – can help them with their problems as they feel they are so different from other struggling couples. “How do they – i. e. marriage counselors and couple psychotherapists - know why we are at this point in our ...
Views: 1351 - Did You Know That Two Out of Three Divorces are Initiated by Women? - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2012 from Daniela RoherIt is part of popular knowledge that in romantic relationships women want commitment from men, and at some point push, openly or subtly, for a marriage certificate. Men, on the other hand, are assumed to want to explore and experiment, but “cave in” to women’s pressures at some point or another ...
Views: 1452 - Doing Things Together - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2012 from Daniela RoherDo you remember when you and your partner were getting to know each other? I bet that, when you think back to those early times of your love, you remember what you did together: perhaps you both liked the same music and went to concerts together; or you liked the theater, and went to many ...
Views: 2075 - Being Friends AND Lovers: Is it Possible? - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2012 from Daniela RoherSome people feel very strongly that a person cannot be both a friend and a lover, as one will undermine the other. It’s one or the other, these people say, and cite the importance of mystery and the excitement of the new and the exotic as powerful forces that fuel sexual passion and physical ...
Views: 1915(1 vote) - Love as an Iceberg - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2012 from Daniela RoherScientists tell us that icebergs – masses of floating ice, like the one that sank the Titanic – have one eighth of their mass above water and seven eights under water. So, when we think we see the whole thing, in reality we see only the tip of it, as the biggest part is hidden. The same is ...
Views: 1488 - The Art of Science and Love - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2012 from Daniela RoherMany people have been studying and discussing the mysteries, the pains and the joys of love as long as humans learned to communicate with each other. With the discovery or reading and writing, personal experiences, as well as emotional and logical theories about love were left by earlier ...
Views: 1411 - Love and Money - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2012 from Daniela RoherWe all know that, in a relationship, men look for beauty and women for security. We also know, however, that money tends to play an important role in love for both men and women. So, when things go awry financially, what happens to love? Love suffers, as most couples who are going through ...
Views: 1274 - First Holidays For Blended Families - by Submitted on Dec 04, 2011 from Daniela RoherIt is normal to be overwhelmed and unsure of what to do, so don’t think you are unique or that there is something wrong with you. If this is your first holiday with your new blended family, expect challenges. Also, don’t think your situation is unique, as more than 50% of American families are ...
Views: 2274 - Intimacy and Safety - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2011 from Daniela RoherAll intimate relationships are supported by two pillars: Intimacy andSafety. Intimacy implies both closeness and communication (Holmes, J.Attachment, Intimacy, Autonomy, J. Aronson, 1996.) The more we communicate with one another, the closer we get. The closer we get, the easier and deeper our ...
Views: 1644(1 vote) - Relationships: Longevity of a Couple -- It is Possible - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2011 from Daniela RoherDoes being together for a long time mean people like each other more or less? Does it mean they are used to each other and settle for habits each one cannot stand in the other? Does it mean love is easier and smoother and there is more tolerance for each other? Does it mean the knowledge of what ...
Views: 1160 - What Can Couples Counseling Do For You...Part 2 - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Daniela RoherIn the previous blog we discussed some of the main reasons why couples tend to be hesitant to seek professional help when they experience serious relational problems. In this blog we will discuss what makes therapy work. The therapist, in addition to his or her knowledge of relational ...
Views: 1108 - Couples Counseling: A New Relationship And Partnership In Writing - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Daniela RoherMany years ago, maybe fifteen or more, Daniela and I both attended a small gathering in Phoenix, Arizona, for professionals interested in deeper approaches to psychological issues. As I recall, this event focused on the father and daughter relationship. Daniela and I ended up sitting next to ...
Views: 1204(1 vote) - Is Technology Interfering or Enhancing Our Lives and Relationships? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2011 from Daniela RoherAs we become more and more technologically connected – to our smart phones, our computers, our IPods and IPads, our Kindle and our video games – are we becoming more disconnected from real life and real people? Or is technology facilitating and enriching human relationships? I don’t think ...
Views: 2071 - 09/11 Ten Years Later: A Tim for Reflection - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2011 from Daniela RoherWhy another blog on 9/11? Because I want to remember this date by offering something that hopefully can shed further light on some of the repercussions of the fateful events of ten years ago. As a psychotherapist, I am deeply aware of the importance of traumatic events that occur ...
Views: 1270(2 votes) - Powerful Tips for Stress Management...Part Two - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2011 from Daniela RoherLet’s discuss what approaches to deal with difficult situations are effective in helping us manage our stress levels and increasing our abilities to cope with it. The number one thing that can help you cope with stress is creating a strong support network around you. Studies over and over ...
Views: 1101 - Powerful Tips for Stress Management...Part One - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2011 from Daniela RoherWe cannot escape stress. We are surrounded by it in our busy lives, where we tend to get as many things done as possible in as short time as possible. What is stress? Stress is a normal physical response to situations that are perceived as being dangerous. We perceive our abilities to cope ...
Views: 1068 - What Can Couples Counseling Do for You...Part Two - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2011 from Daniela RoherIn the previous blog we discussed some of the main reasons why couples tend to be hesitant to seek professional help when they experience serious relational problems. In this blog we will discuss what makes therapy work. The therapist, in addition to his or her knowledge of relational ...
Views: 1064 - What Can Couples Counseling Do for you...Part One - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2011 from Daniela RoherMany couples who experience relational problems at some point may consider the option of couples counseling. They often do so when they get so frustrated and stymied by what is happening to them that they do not know what else to do. So, unfortunately, therapy becomes the last option for a lot ...
Views: 1129 - Sexting is Now Out in the Open, Now What? Part Seven - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2011 from Daniela RoherIn this seventh and last blog on sexting, we discuss what happens after one partner has acknowledged sexting with a third person outside of the primary relationship. How can the two partners rebuild their relationship, or is this impossible to do? First of all, it is important to say that ...
Views: 1875 - Your Partner Has Been Sexting Behind Your Back...Part Six - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2011 from Daniela RoherThe other day you were looking, totally innocently, for a telephone number in your partner’s phone, and what you found was much more than the number you were looking for! Now you don’t know what to do with the information. You have discovered your partner has been sexting with a coworker for ...
Views: 8990 - You Have Been Sexting Behind Your Partner's Back...Part Five - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2011 from Daniela RoherIt has been going on for quite some time. You started as a joke, sexting an old flame you had not seen since college, but what was a joke at first has become a very intense activity you are involved in regularly now. You went from sexting your old friend to doing it with strangers you met on the ...
Views: 2528 - Sexting and Love: Part Four - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2011 from Daniela RoherThe step from experiencing sexual urges to acting out on them, in my opinion, is still what should be the measure of a man – or a woman, for that matter. Individuals, in fact, are not only governed by their physiological urges, but are molded by powerful cultural, social, emotional, and moral ...
Views: 1572 - Sexting and the Western Ethos: Part Three - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2011 from Daniela RoherUsers of sexting represent a particular spectrum of the population. Some people don’t seem to realize the meaning or the full impact of their sexting activities on their reputation, career, their families and other people around them. This attitude is often due to a temporary suspension of ...
Views: 1702(1 vote) - Sexting: What are the Root Causes?: Part Two - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2011 from Daniela RoherIn the previous blog on sexting, we discussed who uses this technology – most popular among people in the 18-29 age bracket, but also being used by people up to the age of 50 – and why it is becoming more popular – it is fast and anonymous. Additionally, sexting is within reach for most people; ...
Views: 2255 - Sexting: New Technologies, Old Desires: Part One - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2011 from Daniela RoherLet’s discuss one particular use of technology, sexting – sending lewd pictures and texting sexually explicit messages over the phone – in the context of relationships. A case of a public figure caught sexting has recently brought the use of this technological communication to everybody’s ...
Views: 2499(1 vote) - What Makes Forgiveness Possible? - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2011 from Daniela RoherThere are two indispensable elements that make forgiveness possible. Without them, people struggle with anger, hurt, fear and insecurity, without resolution. Let’s take the case of a couple where one partner had an affair. This scenario is not uncommon in our society, where 50% of married ...
Views: 1653(2 votes) - The Power Of Relationships - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2011 from Daniela RoherMost of us enjoy being with others rather than being alone, as being with someone we like is an enjoyable experience. We like to share our reactions to situations and events that amaze us, like going to the Grand Canyon, for instance. As we stare and are awestruck by its beauty and majesty, we ...
Views: 1146(1 vote) - Male Sensitivities And Love Pains - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2011 from Daniela RoherIn a paper published last year (“Non Marital Romantic Relationships and Mental Health in Early Adulthood: Does the Association Differ for Women and Men?” The journal of Health and Social Behavior, June 2010) the authors found that when a romantic relationship ends, young men suffer more ...
Views: 1318(1 vote) - Are you in a DINS Marriage? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2011 from Daniela RoherThe acronym DINS (Double Income No Sex) was coined a few years ago in discussions about the evolution of marriage in this country. In research carried out at Georgia State University, 16% of married couples reported they had sex with each other less than once a month. As a psychotherapist ...
Views: 1700 - How Do I Deal With My Emotions? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2011 from Daniela RoherThere are times in life when we get overwhelmed by our emotions – anger, hurt, sadness, shame, guilt, rage, desperation, terror. They seem to be so powerful and overwhelming that they control us instead of the other way around. They monopolize all our thoughts and energies, not allowing us to ...
Views: 1776(2 votes) - Extra Marital Affairs: Could They Happen To Me? - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2010 from Daniela RoherTaylor had never anticipated she would become a statistic in extra marital affairs. Married for only five years, independent, professionally successful and in love with her partner, she found herself flirting with a colleague who worked in the same office with her. At first it was just a ...
Views: 2255 - Love In Recession Times - Part 4 - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Daniela RoherWhat happens to couples when they are forced by external circumstances to live together? How does this situation affect each partner and their children, if couples have children? I suggest that, rather than fighting their situation – which does not solve the problem anyway – couples should face ...
Views: 1249 - Love In Recession Times - Part 3 - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Daniela RoherThe current recession in the U.S. presents some unique challenges to couples. This is due to a very specific set of circumstances that came together in the past two years, particularly in the Southwest and in Florida. Adding to job loss and depletion of savings, couples in these parts of the ...
Views: 1202 - Love in Recession Times - Part 2 - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Daniela RoherA clear correlation between economic pressure and interpersonal conflict in intimate relationships has been established by many experts in relationships. In a 2005 paper on “The Effects of Economic Pressure on Marital Conflict in Romania” (Journal of Family Psychology, 2005, Vol. 19. No 2, ...
Views: 1229 - Love In Recession Times - Part 1 - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Daniela RoherA lot has been written on the various areas of our lives affected by the current economic recession. One area that deserves attention, albeit not as immediately identifiable as others, is that of intimate relationships. When under a lot of stress, intimate relationships often cease to be haven ...
Views: 1258 - The Many Parts Of Love - Part One - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2010 from Daniela RoherAffective relationships give us a sense of purpose and provide added meanings to our lives, actions, and choices, as they create powerful motivations to set and pursue goals which aim is that of maintaining them. They affect us deeply, offering us opportunities to feel and express emotions that ...
Views: 4603(1 vote) - Thanksgiving and Family: Love and Friction - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2010 from Daniela RoherThanksgiving is just around the corner. Families are planning to gather around the table to strengthen their connections to one another and maintain traditions. There is a good side to this holiday, and a not so good one. Let’s start with the happy side. This is the only holiday that ...
Views: 1748 - Is There a Silver Lining in Infidelity? Part 2: What Couples Can Do To Get Back On Track - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Daniela RoherIt is important to remember that in most cases affairs are symptoms of something deeper that is going on in intimate relationships, of which couples may not have been aware. And here is where I can see the silver lining. The affair is such a shocking event in their lives that couples cannot ...
Views: 1460 - Is There a Silver Lining in Infidelity? Part 1: Couples Who Survive Infidelity - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Daniela RoherWe all know the evils of infidelity. In previous blogs I wrote about them, citing statistics, characteristics of who is most likely to cheat, and what can be done to address these issues. Here I want to approach this subject from a different perspective: infidelity as an alarm system about ...
Views: 2340(3 votes)