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Articles from Brian James | Selfgrowth.com
- Continuity in the Care of Your Children - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2011 from Brian JamesConsistency is something that I think most people desire as part of their lives. Though change brings the opportunity for new beginnings and renewal, the things that give us a "sameness" are comforting. This is especially true for children. The people and things that remain consistent and steady ...
Views: 1923(1 vote) - Qualities to Look For in a Mediator - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesEvery time we consult a professional we think about what qualities will make this relationship successful. We want a doctor with compassion and caring. We want a teacher with energy and enthusiasm. But what do we want in a mediator? Is it all skill and abilities? Is it communication? Because a ...
Views: 1455 - The Dilemma of Health Insurance After Divorce - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesWhen looking at this issue it is easy to be mislead into thinking that there are easy solutions to this problem. Current research gives some very pat answers to a question that is extremely complex. The key to understanding the insurance dilemma facing divorced spouses is to look at long term ...
Views: 963 - Use Mediation to Save Money During the Holiday Season - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesPlanning for the holidays begins long before they occur and starts with making the best use of our resources year-round. The expenses we incur associated with separation and divorce become even more critical because each partner is facing the loss of an income, two households, and most ...
Views: 954 - The Role of Mediation in Parental Alienation Syndrome - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesThere are degrees of conflict in every divorce, some very minor but others that have a severe and far-reaching impact. Conflict and anger at its extreme can result in Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). This occurs when one parent consciously or unconsciously sabotages the relationship between ...
Views: 2124 - Consider Co-Mediation for Divorce - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesCouples filing for divorce should be aware of a new service called co mediation. In a traditional divorce, both husband and wife hire a divorce attorney. Couples are encouraged to fight for what they want with a divorce attorney. And the result is a divorce process that takes months or years to ...
Views: 1020 - Making Child Care Changes Work For You - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesWhile it is always advantageous to maintain consistency when a couple is establishing two separate households there are always some gaps. One primary area where some coordination is required is the question of child care. Whether it is a nanny, housekeeper, or babysitter, it is often difficult ...
Views: 1039 - Making Technology a Link Between You and Your Child - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesA parent is many things to their child. There are not enough nouns in the English language to accurately describe the many and varied roles that parents play in their children's lives. They are everything from cook to coach and supporter to story reader. In short, parents are everything to their ...
Views: 1136 - Making a New Second Home After Divorce - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2011 from Brian JamesA family home, whether in an apartment or house, gives your family's lives context and stability. Moving into a new home can be extremely stressful for the entire family, especially for the children. A new neighborhood or surroundings changes the dynamics of your child's life. Given these facts, ...
Views: 1123 - Mediation with the Children in Mind: The Role of the Parenting Coordinator - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesThere is a relatively new emphasis in Divorce Mediation and related court proceedings, the appointment of a Parenting Coordinator, to ensure that the best interests of the children remain paramount. You may think that the best interests of the children have always been the highest priority of ...
Views: 1091 - Mediation and Financial Security for Families - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesDivorce, with all its emotional and financial upheaval, is frequently wrought with stress, fear, and staggering new challenges. In the economic times we now find ourselves in the stress, fear and challenges are being felt by everyone, not just families touched by divorce. The constant media ...
Views: 1000 - Planning Ahead for Summer Fun for Your Children During or After the Divorce - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesAs the summer months approach, activities that are unique to summer remind us of how important it is to plan year-round. With your children out of school, many parents look for programs and activities to bolster academics, spark interests and passions, or supplement athletic talents by ...
Views: 1003 - Surviving the Emotional Loss of a Loved One: Mediation can Help you Deal with the Causes of Divorce - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesMediation, by nature and definition, bridges the emotional gulf that can exist between couples, both during and after a divorce. The need to assess priorities, explore opinions, and achieve compromises requires mediators to learn as much as possible about their client’s current relationship ...
Views: 1245 - Teacher Conferences and School Progress - Important for Divorced or Divorcing Parents - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesIn many parts of the country, the school year has just started. If you are going through a divorce or are already divorced, have you talked about or planned how you and the other parent are going to communicate about your child’s school activities? Sadly, when parents are going through a ...
Views: 2598 - The Benefits of Co-Mediation: Seeing Both Sides of Every Story - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesEvery situation has two complex and unique perspectives and the ability to interpret, empathize and identify with each side is a benefit divorcing couples must not take lightly. Having a mediation team composed of a male and a female allows C.E.L. and Associates to offer an approach to ...
Views: 1760 - The Dilemma of Health Insurance after Divorce - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesWhen looking at this issue it is easy to be misled into thinking that there are easy solutions to this problem. Current research gives some very pat answers to a question that is extremely complex. The key to understanding the insurance dilemma facing divorced spouses is to look at long term ...
Views: 1114 - The Division of Assets and Debts During a Divorce — How Mediation Can Help you Divide These in a Way That Makes Sense to Both of You. - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesWhether you have $10K or $10M in assets, the division of marital assets does not necessarily determine how much your divorce will cost you. The divorces we see on television, with high priced attorneys and high powered experts, do not have to be the rule, but the exception. Divorce mediation ...
Views: 1357 - The Fork in the Road: Which way you travel is Important - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesWhenever we meet bumps in the road, there is usually more than one path to choose. We make these choices as we choose a school, a career, a home, and a mate. But these choices, like all choices, are rarely written in stone. One of the beauties of life is that we get to evaluate and consider ...
Views: 994 - What Is Divorce Mediation - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesDivorce mediation is about you and your soon to be ex-spouse deciding your own divorce and what is best for the both of you and most importantly, your children. In mediation, you and your spouse meet with a neutral third party, the mediator, and with their help, you work through the issues you ...
Views: 1067 - Wise Decisions: Cost Issues in Divorce Mediation vs. Litigation - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Brian JamesWhen approaching the ending of a marriage and how to go about it, divorcing couples are faced with many hard decisions. Whether to choose mediation over litigation is fundamental and primary in the divorce process. When couples weigh the pluses and minuses of both choices, the factor of cost ...
Views: 1142 - Designing An Agreement You Can Live With: Mediating A Livable Divorce Agreement - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2010 from Brian JamesLike every process, there has to be an end product. During your divorce mediation, the ultimate goal is to obtain a written agreement that spells out all the aspects of your divorce and the conclusions you and your spouse have reached. But I am sure that there are times when you look at the ...
Views: 931 - Custody and Visitation- What do those words actually mean, in layman's terms? - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2010 from Brian JamesAs a divorce mediator in Chicago, IL, I spend a lot of my time educating my clients as to what custody and visitation mean. In the past, custody always went to the mom and dad got visits every other weekend. Views have changed over the years. Studies are showing that children benefit more when ...
Views: 1028 - Co-Parenting After a Divorce—Tips from a Mediator - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2010 from Brian JamesCo-parenting starts the day the decision is made to divorce has been made. Even the most amicable divorces need a plan for future co-parenting. Putting your children's best interests first, no matter how much you may dislike the other parent, is the key to co-parenting. The first thing you ...
Views: 1010 - College Planning – What Needs To Be Done During A Divorce - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2010 from Brian JamesMost couples with children have no structured college savings plans set up. This is even more so after divorce proceedings commence. There are so many complex issues to discuss that college planning for the children takes a back seat to everything else. Things such as, “We’ll work it out when ...
Views: 1400 - Child Support: Why Don’t People Pay? - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2010 from Brian JamesAs a mediator, I work with many couples who must agree upon a Child Support amount that makes sense to them and benefits their children the most. In the State of Illinois, where I practice, Child Support is based on a fixed percentage of the giver's "net" income. The more children you have, ...
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