Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Dr. Dennis Neder | Selfgrowth.com
- Should Women Approach Men? - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder: I have conflicting thoughts about whether or not it is okay for a female to initiate the conversation with the male. Many people that I know and even those on this board swear by the fact that it is the wrong thing to do. They say it will scare the man off or make him less ...
Views: 4237(8 votes) - Habitual Dating Self-Sabotage - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2005 from Dr. Dennis NederHabitual Self-Sabotage Hi Dr. Neder! Whenever I might meet a woman and things look good, like we're talking pleasantly, (and this is right at the first or second meeting) all of a sudden I start to feel "self-conscious". I can explain exactly what I mean by this: it is the exact same feeling ...
Views: 1992(5 votes) - Would Setting Him Up Be Wrong? - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2005 from Dr. Dennis NederA few months ago my boyfriend cheated on me. I stayed with him because I saw he was truly sorry. I look back now, and honestly regret not giving him time without me, to see how life would be without me even for a few days. He is starting to act like he doesn’t care as much again. I wish he would ...
Views: 1034(2 votes) - The “Un-Ex” - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederI was in a long distance relationship over the internet and it ended 5 weeks ago. Basically I screwed up in silly ways and hurt her. I quit for a day, but came back and after staying away for another day she added me again during that first week (she said she'll always love me.) Over the next ...
Views: 1361(6 votes) - Tired of Being Single - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederDr. Neder: I am a 36 year old woman who has been single for 3 years and I'm tired of it. I feel I'm of average attractiveness, I have a good job as an accountant, I run (marathons even!), hike, travel, have lots of friends, etc. I often hear advice from my attached friends, but the advice is ...
Views: 6580(3 votes) - Attraction and Love Formulas - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederI’ve been promoting a new concept on my show that has been very successful in explaining how attraction and love work. I call these them (collectively) “The Formula”. Is there really a “formula” for attraction and love? Yes, there is. I discovered them when I was working on what sorts of ...
Views: 1645(3 votes) - Building Attraction in Men - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2011 from Dr. Dennis Neder“Just what do men want anyway?” Yes, I get that question a lot these days and no, I don’t just answer with “sex”. (Yes, men want sex, but that’s not really the answer to this question.) You keep hearing that “men are simple” and that’s not really true. It’s based on that however that you ...
Views: 6431(1 vote) - Christmas Day Dump - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I was with my girlfriend for 9 weeks before we split on Christmas day! Everything was perfect we loved each other had talked about holiday and kids and even where we were going to get married and moving in together but the problem I had was I never thought I was good enough for her so I ...
Views: 1372(1 vote) - Does My Boyfriend Appreciate Me? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederHello Doc! I've been dating a guy for awhile now. I haven't had many relationships, so I'm getting used to moving out of the honeymoon stage. My problem is, I know it's normal to get used to people and kind of let your faults come through as you get more comfortable with the person. I’m ...
Views: 8953(3 votes) - Ex-Wife In The Way - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2005 from Dr. Dennis NederDoctor: I am what I thought was the best-possible relationship but now wonder what happened. I have been with this man for 1 1/2 years. He has been separated from the mother of his two children (never married to her) now for 2 years, yet she continues to be very present in our relationship. ...
Views: 984(1 vote) - Going Too Fast, Going Too Slow - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder, What's a good way to enter into a sexual relationship so that you don't go too fast or too slow? Sometimes if the guy goes too fast it can be really threatening to the woman (unless she likes it of course.) Hello! This is an excellent question! The key is to not try to ...
Views: 1674(1 vote) - How to Get Women to Be Attracted - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I came to notice early in my life that treating women as if they are a goddess is a sure fire way of losing their interest. You can try to spend as much with them as possible, call/text them every day, give them compliments etc. but they will lose interest and think you’re ...
Views: 1416(8 votes) - I Need Something That’ll Work – Hurry! - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder: I’m a senior in high school and there’s this really cute girl in my psych class. I want to find a way to talk to her or get her to notice me or something but I don’t know how. Most stuff online would say to see her outside of class and just walk up and say something like, ...
Views: 1316(1 vote) - Keeping Him Satisfied and Interested - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder: I just recently became involved with a fellow six years my senior. He is everything I have ever dreamt of; there is just one problem….Me! I have always avoided the relationship scene because, frankly, I have no idea how to handle a relationship. I didn’t actually date until ...
Views: 1908(2 votes) - Making a Move? - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDr. Neder, My good friend has asked you a few questions and spoke very highly of the advice you've given him and the results he's received. I’ll take his word for it, and try to keep this brief, but I do want to give you the some background. I’m 23 and have a good degree and career. Two ...
Views: 1193(4 votes) - Rebuilding a Sexual Relationship - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi! I’ve been dating this girl for a year now, and she tells me tonight through the phone (long distance relationship) that when I approach her before sex I only approach one way and that’s climbing on top of her. She says I approach her like a horny virgin and I don’t turn her on and she ...
Views: 1341(1 vote) - Should a Woman Ask a Guy Out? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederI keep reading that if a man is interested he will ask you out (which I think is true to a point). When a guy asks you out that definitely shows interest, but it is hard for me to believe that every single guy has the guts to ask out all the girls he has been interested in. My question is: ...
Views: 17041(3 votes) - Some Women Get Mad When You Say "No"! - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Doc! Why is it that when women turn men down for sex, they expect us to be understanding and caring, and when men turn women down, they flip out?? Here's the situation: I broke up with a girl I had been with, but have been able to remain minor friends. I know you don't think that's a ...
Views: 8812(1 vote) - The Chase is the Game - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I'm dating this wonderful girl, but we've been going through issues in regards to the "chase" factor. We've already professed love for each other, so it's in a deeper stage than just the chasing phase, but she says of course that she wants to feel like she's still "chasing" me, since she ...
Views: 1262(1 vote) - The Deserving Dame - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2011 from Dr. Dennis NederHello Dr. Dennis, Where can I find a financially stable guy that is willing to commit? I live in New York and I'm 28 years old. My love life completely stinks. I keep getting my heart broken. I've always dated guys who were either commitment-phobic, game players, liars or weren't well ...
Views: 1418(1 vote) - The Six “R’s” to Getting your Ex Back - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHello Dr. Dennis: I know there are lots of books out on the ‘net claiming that you can get your ex back. Do any of these books really work? What if your ex has moved on and is dating someone else? I was dumped out of the blue. I knew in my heart that it wouldn’t work out because he is very ...
Views: 1177(2 votes) - Three Years of Tears - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder I am hopelessly in love with a girl I met 3 years ago at a concert. She means the world to me! I’d give up the rest of my life to spend one night with her on a more than friend level. She has a Boyfriend but I truly care for her. I've tried to move on to different girls but ...
Views: 1152(3 votes) - Time for a Change? - by Submitted on Feb 03, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederSo here's the thing, I've been dating this girl for a while now. She's the type that seems like crave attention from other men, so she likes going out to clubs, parties etc. She also likes interacting with men online, flirting and things like that. I can't say I like the way she interacts and ...
Views: 1118(1 vote) - Waiting in Line to be 100% Sure - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dennis: There’s this girl that I’ve liked since for 2 years. I've always made small talk with her but I’ve been too afraid to have a serious conversation with her. We recently did a group project together with me, her, and two other guys and she seemed to talk to me a lot more than ...
Views: 1266(3 votes) - When She Gives Too Much - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Doc: I’ve read your books and read your column every week. I can’t tell you how you’ve change my life! But, I had a question for you that I haven’t seen you write about before: what do you do when your girl gives too much? She cooks for me every chance she gets, she does my laundry, ...
Views: 1263(5 votes) - A Matter of Height - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I have dated girls anywhere from 5'1 to 5'5 inches tall and even had girls 5'6 or 5'8 be attracted to me. The thing is though, I am 5'8 1/2, which isn’t really considered short, but is certainly not tall either. I have a solid, muscular build, am 190lbs, and I was just wondering if ...
Views: 1208(2 votes) - A Plethora of Problems - by Submitted on Sep 27, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I have been dating my girlfriend for the past 14 months, and we have endured many situations. The one I need help with is her past. She has told me she has been with 7 guys prior to me. She originally told me 6, but I found out and not from her it was 7. She didn't tell me because I know ...
Views: 1270(5 votes) - How to Date – Back to Basics - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Dr. Dennis – Hi and thank you for your help! I am single and I have been for 2 years. I’m a 30-year old woman with 2 part-time kids. I am attractive (though somewhat overweight), intelligent and I like to think I'm good company. Recently, I have had some pretty bad luck in re-entering ...
Views: 1781(4 votes) - Men and “The Hunt” Explained - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederI get lots of letters about all sorts of dating, sex and relationship problems every day. It’s interesting that they so often fall into clearly defined categories. One of the most common comes from women that follow various prescribed paths only to find that they prevent or destroy their ...
Views: 6971(4 votes) - The Harsh Reality - She's a Prostitute! - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2005 from Dr. Dennis NederDr Neder, I read on a website that you try to answer your email and I'm begging for some of your expert advice please. I am in serous need of some help because a girl I had really strong feelings for and with whom I've had a very close relationship and I have just had a crisis. About 1 1/2 ...
Views: 1495(1 vote) - Maybe I Can Just Bore Her Into Liking Me? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2010 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Doc! First off, I'm 21 and I stay near a pretty small town that’s big enough for a WalMart but the only "mall" in town has maybe 8 stores in it. Yeah, it’s THAT small. I got a girl's number a while back. We've only had maybe two real conversations during the last semester of college: ...
Views: 1653(4 votes) - 10 Unethical Ways to Date More - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2012 from Dr. Dennis NederYou’re a nice guy or nice girl. You have morals and ethics. You want to do everything above-board and you play by the rules. The problem is, you’re getting nowhere with your dating/sex/relationship life! You look around you and see guys and girls that seem to be bending (or breaking) the ...
Views: 2724 - 10-Steps To Constructive Arguing - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Doc! I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 years. I am planning to marry her in 5 years. She fulfills every criterion as my soul mate except one point: sometimes when she is under pressure even the slightest thing can set her off. She goes to the extreme saying hurtful things. She ...
Views: 12079 - A Dearth Of Dates - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2008 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Doc: I am 30 years old and have never been on a date. I had very bad anxiety because of my obsessive compulsive disorder. It's not as bad now, but I don't have much experience talking to people. I talk to people at work and they want to help me, but I fear I am not experienced enough. I ...
Views: 706 - A Matter Of Trust - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2008 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I have been seeing this woman on and off for over 1 year, we have only been seeing each other seriously since the beginning of May. We have had difficulties with trust from both ends in the past, but things have improved dramatically over the past few months. 99% of the time I trust her ...
Views: 833 - A Pair of Jackasses Beats a Straight Flush - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder, I have been reading your column for a while and I never thought that I might need help myself. But lo and behold I am here writing you this letter. I am naturally a cocky, funny asshole beautiful girl which lets me date out of my league and makes men bend over backwards for ...
Views: 812 - A Woman's View Of "The Test" - by Submitted on May 21, 2008 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Dennis, I have been working on putting together a few work shops for women on how to attract the kind of man they desire so naturally I have been doing my research on how the other side goes about this. From a woman's perspective, you are 100% on target. Just reading what suggestions you ...
Views: 740 - Air-Sick Bag, Please! - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederDoc: I met a young lady on a matrimonial website and we hit it off very well. She had a prior relationship 3 years ago that she ended and admits to feeling guilty about as she sorta "strung the guy along" and did not verbalize her concerns regarding their relationship that she felt wasn't ...
Views: 923 - All About Lying - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Doc: About a year ago, I was unemployed, and my girlfriend's mother told her that if I didn't get a job, that she wouldn't allow her to see me anymore. She then called and told me this. Right then and there I made a terrible decision – I lied. I lied telling her that I had just gotten a ...
Views: 932 - All or Nothing in Common? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi! I was wondering if you have to have stuff in common with the person you're dating? I was told that it doesn't matter how different you are, as long as you're happy when you're with the other person. I'm 18 and I recently dated a guy who only cared about finding stuff we have in common. ...
Views: 1104 - Approach Without Nervousness - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Dr. Neder: How do I approach this girl again without acting nervous? There's this really beautiful girl that I like at school (college) one day when I was in the library I noticed her looking at me so I looked at her and we stared at each other for a pretty long time (maybe 5 seconds, ...
Views: 763 - Approaching The Girl - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Dr. Neder, I'm trying to approach and meet a girl I see frequently on the way to work in the morning at the train station. What is the best approach and what do I say at first to get her trust and interest? Please let me know what you ...
Views: 672 - Are Nice Guys A Dying Breed? - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2008 from Dr. Dennis NederDo women even want a nice guy anymore? I've been a nice guy all my life. Upbringing taught me to be nice to everyone. I open doors for women, compliment them, laugh with them, do nice things for them such as favors and such. What do I get in return? “You’re so sweet and ...
Views: 675 - Asking A Guy Out - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Dennis, I'm a single gal who (despite being very attractive) has not been on a date with a man in a year. I have exchanged numbers with several men during that time but none seem interested (mainly they were dating another girl already so I keep missing my chance.) I keep a very friendly, ...
Views: 856 - Avoiding Dating Games - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHi Dr. Neder: My problem is that I don’t want to play the dating game and I don’t know how to avoid it. I’m not interested in the type of relationship that’s a sort of fragile peace treaty after a war of conquest. When I consider what’s involved in the dating ...
Views: 2872 - Being Single Or Together - At A Distance - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2008 from Dr. Dennis NederMy boyfriend and I have been dating about a year. We have a good relationship and we're both sure we want to continue moving forward. We live about 700 miles apart and see each other 1-2 times a month. Here's the problem: my boyfriend has been single almost all of his adult life. He's enjoyed ...
Views: 713 - Being Too Smart for “Girl Games” - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2009 from Dr. Dennis NederHey Dr. Neder! I've been reading through some of your answers and one common piece of advice you give women is to not play stupid games. Girls do it all the time and 9 times out of 10, it completely screws everything up for them and she ends up not getting what she wants out of the ...
Views: 1288 - Being “Too Shy” - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederThere’s a new girl coming to our school this year. I want to make a good impression because I have a crush on her. Around school, I’m the clown, the guy who lightens things up with laughs but it usually involves embarrassing myself. I'm just too shy so its hard for me to ask her out or even talk ...
Views: 768 - Building Experience From Inexperience - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2006 from Dr. Dennis NederHello. I'm 28 years old and I've been with my husband for 10 years. We were very young when we got married and my husband had very little dating experience before we met. He is a great guy, but he has a hard time reading body language and sometimes misses the point even when I'm being blunt ...
Views: 851 - Can This Marriage Be Saved? - by Submitted on May 25, 2007 from Dr. Dennis NederDear Doctor, I am 26 years old woman, married for about 3 years. I am a positive person with self-esteem and confidence in the future. I have a great CV with high education and experience. However it is not easy to find good income work in the country I live in where most good positions rely ...
Views: 781