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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr. Romance: I feel like I am a maid and a sex toy not a wife - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:Me and my husband just recently celebrated our 20 year anniversary. I bought my husband a small gift and when I ask what he got me- he told me I was not worth getting anything. This really hurt, my husband does not show any kind of affection or consideration for other ...
Views: 1409(1 vote) - Getting To Yes - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaThe average person pays more attention to what she’s saying or thinking about than what she is hearing, or how her words are “landing” on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective communicator by using ...
Views: 1409 - Dr. Romance on The Colors of You - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr Romance writes: As life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues -- our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and ...
Views: 1407(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have a family member with two failed marriages, after she asked for my advice I suggested a spousal abuse counselor for therapy. She didn't receive counseling and went on to a second failed marriage. This time even worse than the first. She doesn't understand the ...
Views: 1406 - Dear Dr. Romance: Should a grad student in her 20s date a man who's 70? - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: We are co-workers and I've know him for about two years. He's very nice, funny and in very good shape. We've built a pretty solid friendship. We hang out a couple times a month (when I'm home from school). But, lately he's been pushing for a ...
Views: 1404 - Comforting the Little Orphan Girl - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaWhen life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. ...
Views: 1403 - Dr. Romance on: Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they're wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing -- where one's early family may have picked a "culprit" when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing ...
Views: 1401 - Dr. Romance Video: 7 Things to Consider before Moving in Together or Making Financial Commitments - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view video, click here.) Moving in together is a financial commitment, and so is marriage, so it’s important to consider the tough issues you’ll face as a cohabiting or married couple. Dr. Romance presents seven things you should consider before entwining yourselves financially as well as ...
Views: 1401(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Stop My Husband's Ex-Wife from Smothering Their Son - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband has a son with his ex-wife. He is 12, but she still invites him to sleep in her bed. How old is too old to be sleeping with Mom? I know kids from divorced parents have different issues-- one being how a child should sleep, what ...
Views: 1399 - What's Narcissism, What's Abuse? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2013 from Tina TessinaNarcissistic Personalities & Sociopaths Conscience is a type of judgment, that tells us what is right and wrong. It begins in early childhood, when (hopefully) parents teach a child what he can or cannot do (beginning with "no!"), then gradually how to tell right from wrong. ...
Views: 1398(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: When younger sisters say hurtful things - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance My sister is 2 years younger and not long after my Dad died, I thought we should sit down and talk about things that needed to be done. She is the executor and took offense, accusing me of getting between her and Dad. Then, when my Mom got sick, she also got angry ...
Views: 1396(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I don't think I want to be in this relationship after all - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am currently reading your book, The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman can Make Before 40 and absolutely loving it. I have been married for a year and four months and we are going through a really tough time right now. I have suggested counseling and my husband ...
Views: 1393(1 vote) - Emotions as Weather - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaAlthough most people in the country wouldn’t agree, we in Southern California have been having extreme weather conditions for us: rain and mudslides. You could almost say we’re so used to mild conditions that we become afraid of what others would call “real” ...
Views: 1392 - Dear Dr. Romance: how do I forget that she is married and I am single? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a high school assistant and I fell in love with mother of one of my students. She doesn't know anything about and has some difficulty with her son's wife. I told her I want to help you to sort out your problem, but I have no idea how to help her and ...
Views: 1389 - Dear Dr. Romance: I catch him looking at me with passion in his eyes - by Submitted on May 18, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: As a woman in my early twenties, I am finding it hard to get over a man with whom i have been in love with for 5 years. He is married now to another woman and they are about to have their first child. Seven years ago, I joined a church choir where i met ...
Views: 1389 - Dear Dr. Romance: I think she is really scared to go to therapy - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: To be honest I think she is really scared to go to therapyI have been many timesAnd I know it worksAnd I really want her and I to learn how to communicate stumped Dear Reader: she probably thinks you want to fix her, and that hurts her feelings. Ask her to go ...
Views: 1389 - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: "The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds" - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2017 from Tina TessinaThis arrived in Dr. Romance 's e-mail: “There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over ...
Views: 1388 - Dear Dr. Romance: I just got my girlfriend pregnant and I might be gay. - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2020 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I've just gotten my girlfriend pregnant and still have doubts about my sexuality, whether I'm gay or bisexual. She wants me to get some clarity before she decides to keep the baby or not. Can you help? Dear Reader: Your girlfriend is right to want you to know what ...
Views: 1387(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on How to Help a Friend Who is Depressed - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaIt's not easy to know what to do when you have a friend who seems depressed. Dr. Romance has some guidelines to help you support and care for your dear one. 1. Don't try to cheer your friend up. It just sounds like you don't understand. 2. Listen, listen, listen: Your friend ...
Views: 1386 - Dr. Romance on: It's a Dirty Job: Use the Silly Solution for a Healthy Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Early in our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband Richard a card. All over the front it said, "I love you," and inside it said, "It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it." That phrase has carried us through many ...
Views: 1385 - Dear Dr. Romance: Can I have a life partner? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am living alone. I've been told I am sexually week. Can I have a life partner? How long will it take? I need care and protection, and to know what my choices are. How can I be fruitful to society and mankind? Is my life worth ...
Views: 1384(1 vote) - Romance is Not Necessarily Love - by Submitted on May 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real incarnation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid’s ...
Views: 1381 - Dear Dr. Romance: It left me feeling like a loveless phony - by Submitted on Feb 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I just found your article "Without Ego" Omg you are just who I've been looking for. For the past two years I've been reading articles about dissolving the ego and all this hubbub. For those two years I was told that I have an ego that is ...
Views: 1379 - Dr. Romance: It’s a Dirty Job - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Richard and I have been married since 1982 It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s definitely been worth it. In the first year of our marriage, after a difficult struggle between us, I gave my husband a card. On the front it said, "I love you", many times, and inside ...
Views: 1379(1 vote) - The Power of Politeness - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaFor quite a while now, we’ve heard many public figures, like Rush Limbaugh and comedian Bill Maher express scorn about people who are politically correct. Maher even gave his show the very funny title “Politically Incorrect.” Terms like “the PC police” were used to ...
Views: 1379 - Dear Dr. Romance: Does Friends with Benefits Work? - by Submitted on May 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was browsing the net and came across one of your articles "No Strings Attached Sex" which I found very interesting as it relates to a situation I am facing currently. I am a young male and I cannot handle having sex for a while with a person ...
Views: 1376(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Ready to Have a Girlfriend? - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: i hope u are doing good. You know i really want to show appreciation for all the "Happiness Tips from Tina" newsletters. they are really helping me. really i should say. i print them and read them just to correct some little mistakes aside the Bible. ...
Views: 1374 - Dear Dr. Romance: He wants it to be over - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I found your site by accident and I hope you can help me. I have been divorced for one year and have been seeing a co-worker for most of that time. I have known him for five years and have been in a "relationship" with him for one of those. He is my ...
Views: 1374(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Less Talk, More Action - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2016 from Tina TessinaIf you read this Dr. Romance blog, you know that I am always talking about the importance of good communication, urging better communication, and giving skills for being better understood. Communication is one of the most important aspects of relationships; positive and negative. ...
Views: 1374(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: My husband's one-night-stand is pregnant - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2018 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband had a one night stand several weeks ago. He told me about it. We've been going to counseling for several months and were doing great. We just found out she's pregnant. I love my husband, but can I work through this? Dear ...
Views: 1373(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Was there anything else I could have done? - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance Recently, I have gone back to online dating but have some very strong concerns. I just severed a 5-year relationship with a man who seems to have an internet addiction. He worked from home and was constantly on the porn and personals (by looking ...
Views: 1372(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm afraid the age difference means our relationship won't work - by Submitted on May 24, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance; I read your article about Older Women Dating Younger Men I am dating a man who is 22 yrs, younger than myself. He appeared older and I appeared younger to him. Now I'm afraid the age difference means our relationship won't work. Would you be able to help me with this ...
Views: 1370(1 vote) - How to Have Happier Holidays! - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Tina TessinaRichard and I just indulged in our favorite December tradition—we watched our favorite Christmas movie (Scrooge! the musical starring Albert Finney) which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year. No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a ...
Views: 1369 - Dear. Dr. Romance: Every time we talk, I'm in tears and he's mad. - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been married for nearly 20 years and thought we had a great marriage. 10 years ago I got hurt and have had 6 back surgeries. At one point I would double up on meds and drink to ignore life. During this time my husband was an angel; until he discovered I ...
Views: 1368(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Though we slept together while his wife was away, I regretted it - by Submitted on May 08, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a woman in my mid-twenties from India and working in the middle east in a professional job. I had a brief arranged marriage and am now getting divorced. One of my business clients, who is an arab and over forty has been married for many years but claims his ...
Views: 1367 - Dr. Romance on Winning the War Within - by Submitted on Sep 10, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Do you sometimes feel locked in a struggle with yourself? I know I do. Why is it that we know what we want to do, but it’s such a struggle to actually get it done? Even Saint Paul writes, in a letter to the Romans, “I do not do the good I want, but the ...
Views: 1366(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have been hurt by every guy I have dated - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2010 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am in a new relationship for a few months. I haven't dated for a couple of years on the advice of my therapist. I met a really nice guy on an online dating service which was totally out of my character. He is a really nice guy (Thank God) He lives in a different state so ...
Views: 1365(4 votes) - Dr. Romance on Grief: From Surviving to Thriving - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance has had many clients who are grieving, and wrote this to help. None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional "til death do us part." Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear ...
Views: 1363(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: My wife doesn't know about my overseas girlfriend - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your article on yahoo about older woman dating younger men. Well I'm the opposite, you said on your article at the end "What really makes a romantic relationship succeed is the emotional connection." If this is true then I think my relationship would work ...
Views: 1360 - Dear Dr. Romance: I actually forwarded him the conversation by accident - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a woman in my thirties. It's been over a month since I last spoke with my ex-boyfriend of one year. He gave me the silent treatment because I hurt him. Or it might be his way of breaking up with me. I lied to my girlfriend about him and he found out. I actually ...
Views: 1350 - Dear Dr. Romance: I haven't even kissed a girl in ten years - by Submitted on May 18, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm not sure where to begin. I am single white male tall and stocky like a football player. My problem is I'm to shy and I fail to respond when women come on to me It's like I freeze up. I'm not out to get laid but to fall in love I fell in ...
Views: 1350 - Dear Dr. Romance: At first I was hurt, but now I'm irritated. - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I do not like my job, I have two more classes before I complete my masters in HR to move to a better position and recently passed the PHR certification. I was talking with my boyfriend about the environment at the company and how they are always threatening ...
Views: 1348 - Dear Dr. Romance: He says that I am cheating on him, but I don't feel that way. - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My boyfriend and I have been having problems in our relationship lately because of of the time I spend in chat rooms. I estimate that in a 48 hour period I spend 8 hours chatting with my friends. He estimates that I spend 15 hours there. One ...
Views: 1347(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Older men and younger women - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I enjoyed your article regarding younger men and older women; but what about older men and younger women who fall in love? What is to be said about that? I am in my 40s (and in my prime), and I have met the most wonderful woman in my entire life ...
Views: 1347(2 votes) - When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaMany people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and work together ...
Views: 1346 - Dear Dr. Romance: I Still Miss Him Terribly - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband/best friend crossed-over a few years ago and I still miss him terribly. I think of him every day and his essence is is always with me. I am still in love with him and cannot imagine having a relationship with another man. At this time, however, I have ...
Views: 1345 - Dr. Romance on Love and Chemistry - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients want to know: What is a safe surrender to love? They have been in love before, and have gotten hurt. While we all are aware of the joy and beauty of love, and the profound pleasure of being in love, most of us are also afraid of mistakes, of making a wrong ...
Views: 1344 - Dear Dr. Romance: How can I help her to turn around? - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have read your article "Fair Fight Guidlines" and it is impressive. I like to ask your advise for the following situation: I have married for 20 years and three beautifull children. My wife whom I love the most, uses power struggle tactics: guilt and ...
Views: 1343(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Spouse's Child - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2016 from Tina TessinaIt’s not the first thing everyone thinks of, but the existence of an out-of-wedlock child will have a big economic impact, and the financial responsibility will grow with the child. 1. Unless you can settle with the child’s other parent out of court, court costs can be very expensive. ...
Views: 1343(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Love Styles - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There was a time when life seemed very hard, so hard I tried not to think about it.. Several times I helped to destroy some very viable relationships. Changing myself, my life and my loves has been very exciting and fulfilling, yet I am still growing. Love Styles is intended ...
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