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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance on Grief: From Surviving to Thriving - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance has had many clients who are grieving, and wrote this to help. None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional "til death do us part." Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear ...
Views: 1341(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Married, Different Shifts - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn this tougher economy, couples are finding it necessary to take the jobs they can get, and that means more couples work different shifts. If one of you works a “graveyard shift” or rotating shift job that limits your time together; the difference in your shifts and commutes may mean you ...
Views: 1339(2 votes) - Creating Holiday Magic - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Tina TessinaRecently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course dinner, Uncle Tommy ...
Views: 1337 - Solving Problems Takes Equals - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2015 from Tina TessinaThere is a pervasive myth that somehow happy couples just agree on everything automatically all the time. Believing this myth, we enter relationships convinced that whatever problems or differences we have with our partners will be easy to solve. But, in reality, the individuals who make up a ...
Views: 1336 - Detox Your Life - by Submitted on May 31, 2014 from Tina TessinaMany of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on you, and how ...
Views: 1335 - Dr. Romance on Anticipating the New Year - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you a Happy New Year! Every New Year feels like a new beginning. The sun, at its furthest point at Winter Solstice, has begun its annual swing closer to Earth, you change your calendar, and we all feel the renewal of the fresh, new year. With this sense of ...
Views: 1334 - Guidelines for Being Better Understood - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2014 from Tina Tessina1. Seek first to understand. If you know your partner's frame of reference, you can speak to him/her within it. 2. Pay attention to how your words are landing. If your companion's response looks off the mark for what you said, check out what he/she is hearing.... 3. Focus on the solution ...
Views: 1334 - Dear Dr. Romance: I want to break-up with him, but I don't know how - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I heard you on the radio and I have a relationship question for you. I have been dating my boyfriend for seven years, I care for him deeply. However, I am not happy. I want to break-up with him, but I don't know the best way to do it and not hurt him. I would still like to ...
Views: 1331 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am the one who becomes unbalanced - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am married 19 years and my husband and I have two children. We have a good marriage in so many ways yet we continuously cycle to a low point every couple of months primarily due to my change in mood and feelings about the relationship. A bad case of ambivalence on my part. ...
Views: 1328(1 vote) - Want To Stay Married? 4 Must Do's - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2013 from Tina TessinaNumber Four Is A Must In Any Relationship 1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other. You should talk about frustrations, sex, anger, disappointment, about your appreciation of each other, about the meaning of life, about everything. No topic should be off limits. Learn to listen and ...
Views: 1328(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm having trouble letting go of a guy who mistreats me - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm still having a bit of trouble letting go and cutting off communication with a guy who mistreats me. I understand in my head that this is not right, but I can't seem to get it emotionally. Yesterday was his birthday and particularly difficult to ...
Views: 1327 - Turnaround Time - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaSolstice is the day near year end when the sun is furthest away from the Earth, and immediately begins to come closer again. Solstice marks a celestial turning point, and it’s no coincidence that we celebrate the end of the old year, and begin a new year of birth and renewal at this time. ...
Views: 1325 - Dear Dr. Romance: I don't want to bug her a lot and give her anxiety. - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I need some advice about this person I have been having a crush on lately. So far, our friendship has been quite okay. I recently texted her a week ago and we seem to be okay. She is doing fine and I also been calling her. She exchanged numbers with me when she couldn't ...
Views: 1323 - Happy New Year from Dr. Romance! - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on creating a Happy New Year Most of us are infused with good will and joy over the holidays, getting together with loved ones and friends, spreaking kindness, and being surrounded by reminders of holiday spirit. The holidays happen around this time of year for a ...
Views: 1323 - Dear Dr. Romance: is it natural for a man to masturbate? - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am single man, I have question for you, is it natural for a man to masturbate? I normally, do it everyday, sometimes 4 times a day. Tell me if its wrong or normal to fantasize my cousin and she is a woman? Is it that wrong thing to do? I love to masturbate and to me ...
Views: 1322 - Romance is Not Necessarily Love - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2014 from Tina TessinaIn romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real incarnation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid’s ...
Views: 1320 - Couples Can Cooperate for Success - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaYou have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants and needs. If you ...
Views: 1318 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am not sexually as attracted to him as I'd like to be - by Submitted on May 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was hoping for a little advice on my relationship now that is truly wonderful and appears to be the best relationship of my life. Things are souring from my end, which I could not understand why, until this morning when it dawned on me. I have never been as happy as I am now ...
Views: 1318(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have never met him and he lives in another country - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I stumbled upon your article "Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice" while I was searching for advice on dating a divorcee. I can't help but wonder what advice you would give to a girl who has never been married who is currently seeing a divorcee. I ...
Views: 1318(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Something Might Just Happen! - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I think I may be having some difficulty within my marriage! :( I dont really know if you can even help me! Maybe even give me some recommendations! I've been married for over 25 yrs. and we are in our 50s. Ever since we had a child 13 yrs ago there has been no more ...
Views: 1318(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why do I always find cowards? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I like your article "Stupid Cupid" and find that all your down-to-earth questions should be applicable in a daily life of a relationship. I will forward it to my friends. I'm writing you about a guy that I met at my dance class. I ...
Views: 1317(2 votes) - Dr. Romance asks: Are you addicted to your smart phone? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2015 from Tina TessinaRecently, clients have been coming in to Dr. Romance's office with questions about their cell phone use: either it is creating a problem in their relationship, or with getting work done, or even health problems. Here's how to tell if you have cell phone addiction; and what ...
Views: 1317(2 votes) - Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaWant to make sure your relationship is a success? Here are ten ways to bring the sparkle back and keep it going. Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage 1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other --about your frustrations, about sex, about anger, about disappointment, ...
Views: 1317(1 vote) - Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when ...
Views: 1317(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I think I am missing myself - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I think I am missing myself Dear Dr. Romance: I am a women in my early twenties from India. I have gone through your website and i think u can help me. For the first time in life I am so confused, so helpless, and I don't know what i want. Everything ...
Views: 1315(1 vote) - Asking for What you Want - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Tina Tessinab> In my counseling office, I see a lot of damage done because people don’t know how to ask for what they want, or don’t think it’s OK. Not asking for what you want means you’ll eventually resent somebody, and that leads to a lot of strife. So today, I thought ...
Views: 1314 - Dear Dr. Romance: My Wife is Totally Shut Down - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My wife is totally shutdown and she does not know what to do. She wants to talk to someone for help and also for taking a decision that can help her to decide the future of us as a couple if is still possible or not. I just know that in the end I was very bad at her during ...
Views: 1314(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: How do we reorder our brain for positive motivation? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your article "Motivation And How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)" and found it very interesting. I understand your point about celebrating and appreciating yourself to motivate your inner potential. However I am confused about how to order my brain for ...
Views: 1313 - Yes, You Can Have A Happier Holiday - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaRichard and I just indulged in our early December tradition – we watched our favorite Christmas movie, "Scrooge!." the musical starring Albert Finney, which kick-starts our holiday spirit every year. No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwaanza, Chanukah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a ...
Views: 1313(1 vote) - How Not To Be A Wicked Stepparent - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaAre you a stepparent? Are you struggling to make the right decisions for your newly created family? If so, here are four tips to help. 1. Give your blended family a chance to bond. Don’t worry if everyone doesn’t settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each ...
Views: 1310(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Living Outside the Box - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a ...
Views: 1309(2 votes) - The Freedom of Maturity - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2014 from Tina TessinaAnd then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged…You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. —Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people, but for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of ...
Views: 1305(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am somewhat leery of another romance - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My last romantic relationship (that I thought was mutual) ended because she said one day out of the blue, "I don't love you any more." I think she never really did, but rather I was her crutch after her lastbreakup. I loved her wholly, with all my ...
Views: 1304 - Dr. Romance on Setting Boundaries and Saying No - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Knowing how to set appropriate boundaries can make the difference in whether your relationship succeeds or not. The topic frequently comes up in my counseling office, and most people think boundaries are set by telling other people what the limits are. But boundaries are ...
Views: 1300(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: He pushed me to tears - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Thank you for the Fair Fight Guidelines. I found a lot of wisdom and thoughtfulness in them. I hope my husband will agree. That said, I don't know what you mean by "rage is phony; it's drama created by not taking care of yourself." If a ...
Views: 1298(1 vote) - Your Inner Detective - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaThe biggest obstacle to most of my clients’ healing and recovery is their inability to understand and accept their feelings, and the emotional and behavioral clues that indicate where the problems lie. Most of us learn early that being too open with our feelings and thoughts is dangerous. ...
Views: 1298(1 vote) - The Good Boss and the Bad Boss: Motivation and How to Create It - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients have come in complaining of a lack of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the job, to not being able to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed in the morning. They desire to achieve both positive and negative motivations — positive motivations ...
Views: 1296(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Strangely, I still love this man - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Last year, my boyfriend he broke up with me 3 days before my birthday. On the actual day, he didn't even so much as text or call to wish me a happy birthday - or even send me a card. I was devastated, esp because I really made a big deal of his birthday last ...
Views: 1293(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Friends With Benefits - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: If you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. *If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the ...
Views: 1293(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I just don't understand men - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'll admit, I just don't understand men. Do they want us to be perfect all the time? I mean, I think I'm a pretty okay person. I honestly like myself for who I am. It took me a long time to get to this point. I'm not a model, but reasonably attractive for a woman in her 40s. ...
Views: 1290 - Dear Dr. Romance: Please help me before I totally screw up - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: For several years, I’d been a self proclaimed lesbian who was only attracted to women and only involved in intimate relationships with women (the idea of intimacy with a man, even when one hit on me in public, literally made me nauseous)The one exception was my childhood ...
Views: 1290 - Dr. Romance on Creating Peace - by Submitted on Dec 31, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr . Romance wishes you a Happy New Year, everyone! This is the time when a lot of energy is spent on making resolutions, most of which we don’t manage to keep. So, in the face of all the violence we have experienced this year, I would like to propose a different kind of resolution. Will ...
Views: 1290(1 vote) - The Colors of You - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2014 from Tina TessinaAs life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues—our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and accomplishments. As you mature, you can focus on ...
Views: 1290 - Coping with Critics - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaNo one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It’s always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I’m a writer of books and columns, and because I’ve lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I’m glad I’m not more ...
Views: 1289(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Is it appropriate for him to still have her in his life? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am going through a break-up this week and pretty broken hearted. My boyfriend and I currently dated for the last year and nine months and it ended this week. He is my age, mid thirties but when he was in his early to mid twenties he had an affair with a much much older ...
Views: 1288(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on The Freedom of Maturity - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2016 from Tina Tessina"And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged... You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing." -- Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people, writes Dr. Romance, but for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of ...
Views: 1288(1 vote) - Living Outside the Box - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaI was speaking with a client today about his burn-out in his career. This is a man who’s been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a box about work. The box ...
Views: 1288 - Patterns of Change - by Submitted on May 05, 2014 from Tina TessinaI’ve been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it’s not easy. Losses, disappointments, changes—we all struggle when life doesn’t go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to make—losing weight, giving ...
Views: 1285 - True Beauty: Honor the God or Goddess Within - by Submitted on May 24, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Extreme makeovers are all the rage these days, with botox injection parties, and reality shows. Plastic surgery is on the rise. Many people are trying to match the extraordinary measures actors and actresses go through to look perfect on the screen. ...
Views: 1282(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Can I ask her to give up her job? - by Submitted on May 21, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My wife has developed a connection with someone at work. Can I ask her to give up her job? If the guy she works with is the source of her attention, would it not be better to ...
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