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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr. Romance: I can't forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Just over one year ago, my girlfriend cheated on me. It wasn't the standard 'met a guy, went to his place' kind of thing, she did it via the internet. He had her cell number but she swears they never talked (though she admits he left voicemails). Everything seemed fine with ...
Views: 2538(1 vote) - How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2013 from Tina TessinaFrequently I help my clients work through problems with their grown children. Sometimes, an offspring is angry about something, and the parent is at a loss for what is wrong or what to do about it. These struggles often have their seeds in things that happened long ago, when the child was young. ...
Views: 2527(3 votes) - The Freedom of Maturity - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaAnd then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged…You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. —Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people. But for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of expectations. At mid-life it's ...
Views: 2493(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel like such a fool - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I read your article, Gentle Persistence, followed the instrudtions, and got the truth. You were right. You were sooooo right! I've finally come to the realization that the married man I've been having an affair with for almost two years now has been using me. ...
Views: 2490(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Self-Reliance and Independence - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina Tessina"As the price of liberty is vigilance -- so the price of independence is self-determination, the price of dignity is self-assertion, and the price of respect is self-respect," wrote psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz. Dr. Romance knows that self-determination and self-respect are the ...
Views: 2490 - Dear Dr. Romance: why are men in their mid 40s-50s attracted to 20ish girls? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2019 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was wondering if in any of your books or articles you discuss about why men in their mid 40s-50s might be attracted to 20ish girls. I kind of know the obvious reasons, but being more curious about what that might mean maturity wise etc. Dear Reader: From your ...
Views: 2488 - Dear Dr. Romance: I Don't Want to Leave without Saying Goodbye - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I have developed feelings for my co-worker and during the past several months, we have had very brief encounters that were limited to greetings. Due to the small work place, I could not go and talk comfortably to him without eliciting attentions/rumors. I will be leaving ...
Views: 2476(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I need to forgive myself. - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I need to forgive myself for continuing in the care of a dentist whom I had lost confidence in and didn't trust anymore. He put a crown in and messed up my bite so now I bite and scratch my cheeks. I have had anxiety and a brief hospital stay over this. I ...
Views: 2475 - Dr. Romance Video: Infidelity -- Stay or Go? - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaIf video doesn't load, click here. Discovering your partner has been unfaithful is a shock. Your first instinct may be to run, but if you have a shared history, children and finances, you may wonder – should you stay or go? Dr. Romance shows you how to decide. When you get ...
Views: 2473(1 vote) - Getting Along with Each Other - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn 1998, Richard and I had a marvelous opportunity to sail around the world as the ballroom dance teachers on a cruise ship. Many of the places we saw then, such as Oman, Jordan, Turkey, Morocco, Indonesia and Israel are in turmoil now, and not as safe for tourists. Last year, when Palestinian ...
Views: 2420(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: No Cooperation? Solve It Yourself! - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: What do you do after you have tried everything and your partner, friend, child or colleague still won't negotiate? In previous articles, like “Asking for What you Want,” “Couples Can Cooperate for Success” and “Gentle Persistence” we’ve explored a lot of ...
Views: 2419 - Dr. Romance: 3 Ways to Ruin Your Relationship - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2012 from Tina TessinaTo view the video, click here.) Relationships can be devastated by simple, thoughtless things. Bad behavior will ruin your marriage faster than any temptation from the outside. Tina B. Tessina, PhD, "Dr. Romance" licensed psychotherapist and author points out the worst mistakes to ...
Views: 2393(6 votes) - Dear. Dr. Romance: Every Time We Talk, I'm in Tears and He's Mad - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been married for 17 years and thought we had a great marriage. 10 years ago I got hurt and have had 6 back surgeries. At one point I would double up on meds and drink to ignore life. During this time my husband was an angel; until he discovered I was ...
Views: 2385 - Dear Dr. Romance: I would be honored and privileged if I could end up marrying her. - by Submitted on Jan 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I recently read an article that focused on interfaith couples and their impact on raising children. You were featured in the article and I wanted to reach out to you as a last resort to saving my relationship. My girlfriend and i have been together for three ...
Views: 2379(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Guidelines for Co-Parenting after Divorce - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To view video, click here.) No matter how angry or hurt you may be after a divorce, if you have children, you’ll still share a lifetime with their other parent, your ex. Dr. Romance offers guidelines for moving past the anger and hurt, and finding a way to co-parent your children that is ...
Views: 2368 - Dear Dr. Romance: I have become quite the online Romeo - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Hi, I read a few of your articles. I always find your info helpful and interesting I have been divorced now going on 6 years, I am man in my early 40s, and have been internet dating consistently. Yikes! I never have trouble getting the ...
Views: 2362(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Is there a right way to ask for more sex? - by Submitted on May 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo watch the video click here: Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Creating a Sexual Agreement: * Set up a problem-solving session: * Having a time to talk about sex will help you create trust and sexual openness which makes finding solutions much easier. * Begin with reassurance and ...
Views: 2358 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm sick of waiting and feeling I'm not good enough - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I am a young adult male who has always had some sort of complication in relationships. I need help on deciding what I should do from the point at where I'm at now. The situation is that I have been talking to this girl. She first started talking to me but I didn't really ...
Views: 2357(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I get upset that he hasn't been responding at all - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I just wanted to express to you how I thoroughly enjoyed your article about how there should be a tennis match type of communication. The guy I like hasn't been responding when he usually responds and though he's a busy professional, I get upset that he ...
Views: 2319(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Why am I assumed to be a cougar good for only one thing? - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a single woman in my late 40's. I've had several serious relationships, but unfortunately, although I lived with a couple of them, I've never been married. I have a minor physical disability, a stomach condition, but I am attractive, I look younger than I am, I'm well ...
Views: 2310(6 votes) - Dr. Romance on Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaAs a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual. Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance: • ...
Views: 2282 - Dear Dr. Romance: I regret not telling her how I felt - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was very attracted to a lady and I did things for her with out asking for any thing in return. She was single and I fixed her jeep, I put down new linoleum in her kitchen for her, we did go out together for drinks, dinner, dancing, movies as ...
Views: 2268(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract? - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It seems logical that like would attract like, but in my private practice as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I often see people drawn to their opposite ‑‑ because it's new and exciting. However, what’s exciting in the newness of romance often becomes ...
Views: 2261 - Emotional Hygiene - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaRecently, I had a minor but difficult surgical procedure to lance an abscess on my leg. It was very painful, and while I recovered physically pretty quickly, I had some Post -traumatic stress reactions—bad dreams, flashbacks, and upset—after my recovery. I had to acknowledge my upset and ...
Views: 2258(4 votes) - Getting Out of Your Way - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2012 from Tina TessinaRecently, I wrote here about making the most of time. This month, I have been asked a lot about how people can overcome paralysis and self-sabotage, so I thought I’d pass on my ideas on the subject. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your yourself. In addition to not managing ...
Views: 2258(4 votes) - Dr. Romance's Newest Ebook: The Real 13th Step - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance announces The Real 13th Step:Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance, and Independence Beyond the Twelve-Step Programs Dear readers: So many of you have written and e-mailed to ask about The Real 13th Step that I'm delighted to have this new edition in print. It's the ...
Views: 2236 - Handling the Green-Eyed Monster - by Submitted on Sep 06, 2012 from Tina TessinaI can’t escape it, it’s in the news every day, and it fills my counseling office. Yesterday, the news told of a four-year-old who was shot to death by his own father, because the father was jealous of his divorced wife’s new relationship. "O, beware... of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster" ...
Views: 2206(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Don't Call Your Ex! - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaWant to know how to handle being dumped? It's less about communication than you think! DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts. But count your lucky stars. You don't have a relationship if the other person's not really interested. DO understand that there were problems already ...
Views: 2200(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: AA only goes so far - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I am 13 years sober through the 12 steps of AA, but I haven't been to more than one meeting in the last 2 years, after making 3 a day for the 1st yr. and averaging 5 a week for the next 4 years! AA only goes so far. They do not tell you that. If you are ...
Views: 2199(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: My husband is curious about sex with men. - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband and I have been happily married for 9 years, and we have a good sex life. We love each other very much,and want to grow old together. He served two wars in Iraq. About two years ago, I started being concerned about his sexual behavior relating to men. He used to ...
Views: 2196(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: On Dating in the Workplace - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2012 from Tina TessinaTo view the video, click here. Work can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. However, workplace romance can present big problems. Dr. ...
Views: 2191 - Dear Dr. Romance: I love a deaf girl with all my heart - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am confused I am dating a deaf girl and I love her with all my heart. The problem is she likes to party sleeping around and in the community they have noticed it. They keep complaining about deaf gals but sometimes I want to cry coz I love that girl so ...
Views: 2183(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Boundaries with your Ex - Tips to Help if your Ex is Doing Things that Make You Feel Used, Resentful - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2013 from Tina TessinaPersonal space and respect are to the smoothness of a relationship. All personal relationships require boundaries. Boundaries are the limits you place on how much others can ask of you, verbally or otherwise. If a friendship or relationship is between two people who both have solid boundaries, ...
Views: 2174(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I want my wife to be my lover - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I wanted to get someone else's take on what is going on in my marriage right now. My problem is that right now my wife and I do not have sex all that often, we average about once every month and half to two months. I have tried talking to my wife about this subject before ...
Views: 2172 - Dear Dr. Romance: I Just Want a Way to Resolve the Yelling - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been together with my wife for about 3 years now. We have worked on many issues in our marriage and resolved most of them; however, there is still one issue that has not been resolved. It seems that little mistakes I make, such as not taking out the trash when it ...
Views: 2136(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Now That We're Together, Things Have Changed - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been dating this girl for 3 months now but we were talking and going on occasional dates for a good 5 months before we finally made it offical. Now that we are together things have changed. She ignores me when we are around friends and family. When I ask her if she ...
Views: 2133(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: What Is Wrong with Me? - by Submitted on May 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What is wrong with me? Angry, sad, blah? It's 5 am and I'm still awake. I'm 29, single (I don't mind), I go to school, an ok job, pets. I'm not starving, as long at there's a roof over my head i'm good to go. So many things I really want to do. I get into it then I don't ...
Views: 2131(1 vote) - Surviving Loss and Thriving Again - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaNone of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking the loss of that ...
Views: 2116(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Although I had to let go, I still care a lot. - by Submitted on May 30, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance Your articles are very helpful to me. Can you tell me what book of yours can help me heal from my last relatioship. The pain is still there and although I am sure I had to let go, I still care a lot. Dear Reader: I'm sorry you're hurting. I know how ...
Views: 2090 - Dear Dr. Romance: Should a Mother Push Her Daughter to Contact Her Estranged Father? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: If the child has not had a real relationship with her father for many years and does not see him more than 2 times per year, should a mother keep pushing a relationship with the father and child? Will it do more harm than good? Dear Reader: There is no way I ...
Views: 2082(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Love Him to Death But Can't Find a Solution - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, My name is Michelle i am 18 years old.. I was reading an article that you posted up about fighting; and everything that you talked about not doing during a fight I tend to do. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we tend to fight a lot about the smallest things ...
Views: 2080 - Creating Unconditional Love - by Submitted on May 27, 2012 from Tina TessinaLove, commitment and relationships seem to be in disfavor these days. I’m seeing a lot of articles and TV shows saying love doesn’t last, so why bother. But, I believe that all of us want to be loved, and I know from experience that a relationship can work, and that a great partnership is a joy ...
Views: 2068 - Dear Dr. Romance: Am I wrong for asking for more time for us? - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I've been in a relationship for 6 1/2 years with a man I can see myself marrying and growing old. The first 4 years we were on our long distance relationship because I was in college in another state. We then lived together for a year to realize we could ...
Views: 2056 - Dr. Romance on To Help An Addicted Friend - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I’ve been talking with clients a lot recently about what to do if someone you love or care for is self-destructing through addiction, or is making it difficult to be a friend because they’re out of control. We all have had some dramatic examples on television and in ...
Views: 2052 - Dr. Romance Video: Why does my husband insist on being right? - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance video, click here for video When your partner refuses to help solve the problem, you have no choice but to focus on your own need until you get cooperation. As long as you offer every opportunity to cooperate and you extend an invitation to your partner to join you whenever he ...
Views: 2049 - Dear Dr. Romance: We just had a small fight, but she doesn't want to talk - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My best friend isn't talkin with me since 2 months now. I'm frustrated. We are best friends since 3 yrs now. In feb suddenly she stopped talking. We just had a small fight as in regular nothing serious. When i asked she said she doesnt want to talk anything for ...
Views: 2044 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Lonely and Hate It! - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Almost all of my friends have boyfriends, (we're 22, turning 23) and I don't. I never have. I feel really alone during the week because all my friends are with their boyfriends. I basically work, take classes, and that's it. I either need a boyfriend or more friends, because ...
Views: 2039 - Handling Anxiety Effectively - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaHandling Anxiety Effectively We are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to “acting out” behavior, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money problems as a distraction. To avoid these ...
Views: 2031(3 votes) - Dr. Romance: Resolve to Make Your Love Life Sparkle! - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes all of you a happy, healthy and loving 2012! We all are inspired to make resolutions in the new year, to celebrate new beginnings. Rather than resolving to exercise or diet, try: Dr. Romance's Top 5 Resolutions to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great Resolve ...
Views: 2027(1 vote) - The Worrier’s Guidelines - by Submitted on Apr 07, 2013 from Tina TessinaThis exercise is especially effective when you can’t sleep or when you experience anxiety attacks. If you worry a lot, or obsessively think about future events and problems when you should be concentrating on other things, follow these simple steps: 1. Write it down. If you’re feeling anxious ...
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