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Articles from Margaret Meloni | Selfgrowth.com
- Principled Negotiations - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2012 from Margaret MeloniSo much of your life is a negotiation. At home you negotiate your children's bed times, what time dinner will be ready, whose family you visit for the holidays and many other items. At work you negotiate difficult deadlines, impossible budgets and over-allocated resources (including your own ...
Views: 1130(1 vote) - Be Yourself - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2012 from Margaret Meloni"Do I have to be an extravert to be a good leader?" "Do I have to be able to walk up to strangers and strike up conversations to be a successful leader?" My answer to both of the above: no and no! I receive both of the above (or similar) questions all the time. For some reason people who ...
Views: 1747(1 vote) - Comparisons - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“Never compare your insides with someone else’s outside.” – Hugh Macleod It is not often that the quotes I share with you come from someone who is still breathing. Today’s quote does and this makes me a bit nervous. See I am not certain if I am using the quote the way that Hugh Macleod ...
Views: 1219 - Causing a Scene - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2012 from Margaret MeloniScene 1, Take 1 In this movie version of 'The Life of a Team Member' (working title); the camera pans slowly across what appears to be a corporate office. We see workers dressed in business casual walking the hallways, coming in and out of conference rooms and sitting in cubicles. Two team ...
Views: 1754(1 vote) - The Art of No - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair No is not always negative. It is not a bad or incorrect response. Saying no does not make you a difficult or uncooperative person. Read that again, out loud. Saying no is more honest than a false ...
Views: 1575 - Bad Company - by Submitted on May 29, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” - George Washington Other people do form opinions about you based on your group associations. This is also why good employees leave bad teams. They simply do not want to be associated with a group that has a bad reputation. They rarely hang ...
Views: 1540 - Conflicted Priorities Equal Conflicted Behavior - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from Margaret MeloniIt was 4:45pm and the requirements review meeting had already gone fifteen minutes beyond the scheduled end time. Joe was becoming agitated. He needed to get out the door at 5:00 pm exactly in order to pick up his daughter from soccer practice. The meeting was not showing any signs of wrapping ...
Views: 1312 - Skills You Can Learn - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2012 from Margaret MeloniCommunication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life. - Brian Tracy You have probably either heard me say (or read an article where I have reminded you) that you ...
Views: 1036 - Mitigate the Risk Called YOU - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Margaret MeloniSometimes your behaviors support you and sometimes they do not. The key is to identify the supporting behaviors or opportunities so that you can use them more and to identify the behaviors that are damaging or the threats so that you can learn to prevent them. When you pay close attention to ...
Views: 1152 - Sending and Receiving - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“But communication is two-sided - vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it... demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated.” Roger Sessions What a great reminder that there is a sender and a receiver ...
Views: 974 - YOU are a Risk - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2012 from Margaret MeloniEach day you bring strengths and weaknesses to work. You walk into the room (virtual or otherwise) with what makes you unique. Or as the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. That is a good thing. It is all of the elements that make you, well you; that differentiate you from others. You ...
Views: 1015(2 votes) - Off Your Game? - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“Jason, did you know we were waiting for you in the conference room down the hall?” Jason looked up from his desk and then at the clock and realized that yes he did know. Somehow he just forgot. He spent most of yesterday afternoon preparing for this budget meeting. He felt really odd about ...
Views: 1044 - Where Are You Coming From? - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Margaret MeloniHave you ever looked at someone and thought, “I have no clue what this person is talking about.” Maybe you even have specifically thought, “Where is this person coming from?” You were not questioning their place of origin. What you were questioning was their perspective. If you occasionally ...
Views: 1009 - Is it Worth It? - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“Whenever you find yourself on the verge of losing your temper or falling into a bad mood, ask yourself, ‘Is this how I want to spend my day? Is it worth it to let this___________ (Fill-in-the-blank; person, situation etc.) take control of my day? Really?” – Margaret Meloni You are probably ...
Views: 1210 - Your Boss is Human - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2011 from Margaret MeloniThis just in, you report to a human being! Whether or not she lets you see her human side or not, she has pressures, stresses, fears, and insecurities just like you do. So don’t think for a minute that just because someone has a director or a vice-president in their title that they have no ...
Views: 994 - 9 Tips for Navigating YOUR Office Party - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2011 from Margaret MeloniIt’s that time again, peace on earth and good will to all. Or at least it would be if you were not worried about those darned office parties. What are they anyway? Are they work or are they parties? Here are some tips to help you navigate the maze of professional pitfalls that lurk behind that ...
Views: 1034 - Culture Is Everything - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“The thing I have learned at IBM is that culture is everything.” Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. former CEO IBM Too often I have worked with people who have joined a new organization only to crash and burn. Too often a complete and total disregard for organizational culture has played a part in this ...
Views: 1108 - How to Be Wrong - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2011 from Margaret MeloniI need to tell you something. I hope you don’t mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, “You are not always right.” This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong. It’s OK. Believe it or not, we all are wrong about ...
Views: 1111 - People Do Not Leave the Company - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“I disliked working with those people so much that I don’t even know if I hate doing this for a living or it was just those people at THAT place.” - Anonymous Unfortunately this quote or versions of this quote are not unique to any specific individual. Isn’t that sad? I have heard it on more ...
Views: 1251 - Dwelling on Decisions - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“We can’t retract the decisions we’ve made, we can only affect the decisions we’re going to make from here.” As said by actor Jamie Foxx in the movie, Law Abiding Citizen. As you have been reading in ‘Turning Point’; decisions have been the recent theme of our discussions and time together. ...
Views: 2012(3 votes) - Decisions, Decisions - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“Tom I really think that when there is a technical decision to be made, it makes perfects sense for you to delegate the decision to Simon. After all he is our technical lead.” Marilyn chimed in, “I agree with Jacob. I think the trick is that you need to make it clear that you trust Simon to make ...
Views: 1020(1 vote) - That was a Decision, Really? - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2011 from Margaret MeloniTom was not surprised when Jacob and Marilyn asked for a private meeting with him. He had a hunch that some of the team was displeased with him. He thought of Jacob and Marilyn as ‘unofficial’ team leaders. They seemed to be the two people who his team members looked to for professional ...
Views: 1002 - Please, Make a Decision - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2011 from Margaret MeloniOver lunch, Jacob and Marilyn discussed some of the frustrations they were experiencing on one of their current projects. Jacob was a business analyst on the project and Marilyn was the subject matter expert. Jacob turned to Marilyn and said to her, “If you could say just one thing to Tom our ...
Views: 1335(1 vote) - Stop Wasting Time - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2011 from Margaret MeloniSo there you are in line at the grocery store or the hardware store or the bank. It could be anyplace really. You could be on hold waiting for a customer service representative or waiting for a meeting to begin. You have time on your hands, what do you do with that time? What time, you ask? ...
Views: 1176(1 vote) - I Already Know That! - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication. “ Groucho Marx “I already know that.” Now there is a phrase that does not encourage conversation. In ...
Views: 1062(1 vote) - Hairs Looking at You Kid - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2011 from Margaret MeloniThere I was, brand new on the project, replacing a project manager who had vanished into thin air. I was beginning to envy him his vanishing act. I could see that the project had been ridiculously under estimated. I was not just new to the project, I was also new to the consulting firm I was ...
Views: 1247 - Avoid Communications Chaos - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2011 from Margaret MeloniWe have so many different ways to communicate with one another. We can pick up the phone and call using either a land line or a cell phone; we can send an email or a text using our computers or our various handheld devices and we can ‘tweet’ and ‘friend’ and make all kinds of connections AND we ...
Views: 1326 - The Art of No - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair No is not always negative. It is not a bad or incorrect response. Saying no does not make you a difficult or uncooperative person. Read that again, out loud. Saying no is more honest than a false ...
Views: 1150 - Likeability - by Submitted on May 24, 2011 from Margaret MeloniLikeability – That which makes someone likeable or easy to like, easy to be with, considered pleasant to be around. Now a good search on the word ‘likeability’ will show you that this is not a new term nor is it something I have made up. You will find all kinds of materials about ...
Views: 1404 - Please Interrupt Yourself - by Submitted on May 12, 2011 from Margaret MeloniYou know that interrupting someone when they are speaking is really rude. If you have children you have probably worked very hard to teach them to say “Excuse me”, before they break into conversations. What about interrupting you? I wish you would. Be honest, every once in a while you have a ...
Views: 1113 - Narrow YOUR Focus, Increase YOUR Impact - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2011 from Margaret MeloniI do not know about you, but every once in a while when I think about all of the different causes I could join I start feeling overwhelmed. We have so much to do for our planet, our creatures and our people. Where do I start? Where do I place my focus? How can I make a difference? Then I ...
Views: 1826 - Don’t Be a Jerk to a Jerk - by Submitted on Apr 07, 2011 from Margaret MeloniSometimes you find yourself working with someone and no matter how kind and compassionate you try to be, you still think they are a jerk. Maybe they yell all the time or they are condescending or a back stabber. It might be tempting to yell at them more loudly than they yelled at you or to ...
Views: 1401(1 vote) - Keeping Others Down - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2011 from Margaret Meloni"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." Marian Anderson This is so obvious when you think about it from a physical perspective. If you were physically holding someone down, unless you have ...
Views: 930 - Be Skeptical - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2011 from Margaret MeloniBe skeptical but learn to listen. This seems like an interesting agreement to use in navigating today’s world. By agreement I mean a treaty or contract that you have made with yourself. I can’t take credit for this idea; it comes from ‘The Fifth Agreement’ by Don Miguel Ruiz and his son Don Jose ...
Views: 1418 - It's OK to Change Your Mind - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2011 from Margaret MeloniJarrod listened to what the team had to say and then he reached a decision. He was very comfortable making decisions and most of his decisions played out well for him and for his team. His decision making style typically involved soliciting input from his most trusted team members and then using ...
Views: 2050 - Are YOU Playing to YOUR Strengths? - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“Oh no, here we go again” thought Joe as his Quality Assurance Analyst Heidi approached him with his memo, complete with typos circled in red ink. He was not really annoyed by Heidi, she was just doing what she does; he mainly felt embarrassed. After all as the leader shouldn’t all of his work ...
Views: 1166 - When to Be Aggressive - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2010 from Margaret MeloniIs an aggressive communication style always bad? Sometimes it appears that much of the information about aggressive styles or dominant personalities is presented using fairly negative words. Or is it that I interpret these words as negative? Here is a list, what do you ...
Views: 2137 - ***Bringing it ALL to Work - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2010 from Margaret MeloniI remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not ...
Views: 1154 - ***What Could Happen - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2010 from Margaret MeloniWhen you are facing a difficult decision sometimes the best thing to do is to sit back and analyze the potential outcomes from your decision. What path will each outcome create for you? Trace that path to its natural termination. Are you OK with this path? In other words: If you do X, what is ...
Views: 1146(1 vote) - ***5 Tips to Keep the Peace this Holiday Season - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2010 from Margaret MeloniDid you blink? Here it is again, another holiday season! Do you love this time of year or do you dread it? Perhaps your feelings are a bit mixed. Your holiday experience can be really upsetting, tiring and stressful OR your holiday season can truly be one of peace and joy. The choice is up to ...
Views: 2170(1 vote) - ***The Big Cover Up - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2010 from Margaret MeloniAll of a sudden Sam had that ‘I think I forgot something feeling’, the feeling that makes some of us feel just a little bit sick to our stomachs or perhaps brings on a cold sweat. Then he realized what it was, he had completely forgotten to tell his project steering committee about the change ...
Views: 1594(3 votes) - ***YOUR Time - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2010 from Margaret MeloniQuestion, what is the resource that you cannot acquire more of? Do you think it is money? Do you think it is a specific type of skilled labor or a certain type of raw material? NO! Although you or your company might be feeling financially challenged you can find ways to earn money, you can ...
Views: 1193(2 votes) - ***It Starts with YOUR Attention - by Submitted on Sep 07, 2010 from Margaret MeloniThe act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can ...
Views: 1336(1 vote) - ***The Little Things DO Count - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo Buscaglia Have you ever started to pay someone a compliment or to say something nice to ...
Views: 1438 - ***Thinking Alike or Not Thinking? - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2010 from Margaret MeloniIt sure is easy when everyone agrees with you and tells you what you want to hear. But sometimes what we want to hear is not what we NEED to hear. This is when you need a dose of conflict or opposition or a contrarian. Unless you and all of your ideas are absolutely perfect 100% of the time, ...
Views: 1385 - ***Are YOU Playing to YOUR Strengths? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Oh no, here we go again” thought Joe as his Quality Assurance Analyst Heidi approached him with his memo, complete with typos circled in red ink. He was not really annoyed by Heidi, she was just doing what she does; he mainly felt embarrassed. After all as the leader shouldn’t all of his work ...
Views: 1488(1 vote) - ***Changing Your Mind - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.” - John Kenneth Galbraith Have you ever watched someone put enormous time and energy into proving why they were right? I am talking about the kind of person ...
Views: 1334(1 vote) - ***Would the REAL You Please Stand Up? - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret MeloniMary Carol read the email from Tisha and was really annoyed. She had just met with Tisha yesterday and everything seemed fine. Now here was this really harsh email. It made no sense. The most puzzling thing was that working with Tisha was like working with two different personalities all ...
Views: 1192(1 vote) - ***Things to Do Today: Ask for Help - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Go ahead and tell me the steps you will take to complete this assignment.” This is the question that none of my early supervisors ever asked me on the job. And boy was I relieved that they never asked this question. Why? Because I had no clue! When I was new on the job I was afraid to ask ...
Views: 1413(1 vote) - ***Pick Up the Sword? - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret MeloniThat’s it YOU have had it. You are tired of dealing with that person. THEY are always doing things on purpose to make you look bad. THEY are always doing things on purpose to get on YOUR nerves. Well it is time to do something, so YOU are going on the attack. Going on the attack can mean ...
Views: 1463(1 vote)