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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- Ten Ways to Get Along With Family Members You Don't Like - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe all have them: the obnoxious siblings, the drama queen mother, the trouble-maker cousin, the gossip monger, know-it-alls, rude, selfish, and even mean-spirited family members. We try to avoid them yet fate often intervenes and brings us face-to-face with our nemesis. We dread family ...
Views: 11715(1 vote) - Misdirected Anger - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2015 from Janet PfeifferWe've all taken our anger out on the wrong party, not to say that there is ever a right party who is deserving of our ire. It's not uncommon to be upset with one person and misdirect it at someone or something else. Your boss has been crabby all day and continually comments on every aspect of ...
Views: 10522 - "Who's To Blame For Your Anger?" - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2007 from Janet Pfeiffer"Who's To Blame For Your Anger?" Have you ever noticed how angry people seem to be? They can fly off the handle for the least little thing. Insignificant events become valid excuses to lash out at someone or something. The damage they do can be irreparable. The pain they can cause others is ...
Views: 5278 - You Can Be Angry or You Can Be Grateful But You Can't Be Both - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThere is a over abundance of books, articles, and blogs written on the subject of gratitude but did you know that being grateful is actually an antidote to anger? Gratitude is a conscious state of appreciation, the ability to feel good in the midst of difficulties and disappointments, and ...
Views: 5228 - The Nail in the Fence - by Submitted on May 28, 2012 from Janet Pfeiffer“The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath.” (The Buddha). A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, “Every time you’re angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you’ve learned to control your anger, start removing them.” Six months later, the boy had removed every nail ...
Views: 4290 - How to Always Be Right and Win an Argument Every Time - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDisagreements - those annoying irritations that throw a monkey wrench into our otherwise blissful lives and disrupt any possible chances we have of experiencing serenity and joy. Augh! "Why can't people simply agree with me, even if they don't, and just allow us to coexist peacefully? But, no - ...
Views: 3858 - The "SO - What" Method: Six Steps to Resolving Conflict - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2013 from Janet PfeifferConflict: two forces in opposition. Resolution: the process of finding a mutually satisfying solution. There's nothing threatening here yet for many they'd rather have a root canal rather than try to resolve a dispute. They either seek a quick departure or prepare themselves for an ugly battle. ...
Views: 3730 - Silent Anger - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2014 from Janet PfeifferIn the late sixties, I married my high school sweetheart. He was a quiet person by nature so when we began having difficulties in our marriage and his response was one of silence I thought it was just his personality. Little did I realize it was a manipulative technique that would eventually ...
Views: 3526 - 10 Tips to Diffuse a Volatile Situation - by Submitted on Jul 20, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWe are living in a very volatile and dangerous age. Not only have issues of domestic violence, child and animal abuse, anger in the workplace and so on been more apparent, but we are definitely witnessing a rise of violence within our communities. Gangs and individual assaults seem to be taking ...
Views: 3307 - I'm Just Too Nice: The Truth About Passive Behavior - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2013 from Janet PfeifferPeople often tell me, "My problem is that I'm just too nice! That's why I get hurt a lot." But what they perceive as a case of terminal politeness, I see as an issue of passive behavior. Don't misunderstand: most of these people truly are nice. But those who are yes people, who don' t disagree ...
Views: 3078(3 votes) - A No-Win Situation: What to Do When You're Caught in the Middle - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWe've all found ourselves in situations where we feel as though we're caught between a rock and a hard place. Faced with making a necessary decision, our choices are less than favorable and all options have potentially serious consequences. Your best friend confides that she's having an affair ...
Views: 3074 - Kids + Divorce + Blended Families = Anger - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDivorce - it's a word that makes me cringe every time I hear it. Mine was thirty-two years ago (not of my choosing) and was one of the most painful periods of my life. Two people brought together in love take a sacred vow to love, honor, and cherish one another for eternity. No one ever says, ...
Views: 2760 - Sarcasm, Fear and Arrogance - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2015 from Janet PfeifferConsider the following scenario: you and your neighbor engage in a political discussion. After a few moments, it becomes apparent that the two of you have serious disagreements about the upcoming presidential elections. Being equally as passionate about your positions, the debate quickly becomes ...
Views: 2677 - Three Defining Moments That Changed My Life - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from Janet PfeifferIn his book, Self Matters, Dr. Phil explains that each of us has ten defining moments in our lives. These moments are deep and profound and can change who we are and redirect the course of our lives. While I've never actually counted mine, I can easily identify the top three. The first ...
Views: 2618 - How to Approach and Assist an Angry Person - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe all encounter angry people in every walk of life. Some will confront them, others avoid them like the plague. There are times when either approach is acceptable. I do not like drama. However, I am concerned about others when they appear upset. And I am very knowledgeable as to how to help ...
Views: 2565(3 votes) - Adult Temper Tantrums: the Why's and What's - by Submitted on May 07, 2014 from Janet PfeifferEach one of my children threw one temper tantrum in their lives. As with all toddlers, overwhelming frustration can lead to a meltdown of epic proportions. I was not the kind of mother who would wait patiently until them calmed down. Not me! I walked right up to them, grabbed their shoulders, ...
Views: 2512 - Anger: How Much is Too Much? - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2015 from Janet PfeifferJesus got angry. He was troubled by the many injustices he encountered while on Earth. At times, he expressed his dismay to those around Him. Anger, as with all emotions, has a place and purpose. But how does one know if there is too much anger in their lives? Here are ten warning signs to ...
Views: 2476 - ALTERNATIVE RESPONSES TO ANGER - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2017 from Janet PfeifferLife doesn't always turn out the way we'd like. When situations take an unfavorable turn, we become upset, frustrated, or angry. When others don't agree with us, live their life the way we think they should, or act in a manner we find disturbing, anger is a typical response. With the exception a ...
Views: 2452 - Rumors and Gossip: Damage Control, Part 2 - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThey all complained about the daily gossip that ran rampant among them. Every one participated in it yet ironically no one could understand why they would be targeted. In the fifteen years I worked at the battered women's shelter, both staff and residents criticize those who engaged in rumors ...
Views: 2438 - I Didn't Order That! - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2010 from Janet PfeifferI admire women who return to school in midlife. Mothers, wives and business women who volunteer and care for their elderly parents, their days are already filled to capacity, their lives overflowing with responsibilities. Yet they seek out the best colleges with the most stringent requirements ...
Views: 2396(2 votes) - I Don't Do Ugly - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2012 from Janet PfeifferShe's strikingly beautiful: tall, large oval-shaped eyes, full lips, dark flowing hair. Her exotic look could land her on the cover of any fashion magazine. Her personality perfectly suits her ample frame. She's outgoing and bubbly, intense and opinionated and I've enjoyed the two years she's ...
Views: 2362 - (Really Smart) Advice About Anger - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2013 from Janet PfeifferOne of my clients complained that her boyfriend had an annoying habit of constantly chewing gum. It drove her crazy! "Aside from that, he's perfect." she exclaimed. "But how do I get him to stop? He knows it bugs me yet he continues to do it. He says he's not doing anything wrong and then ...
Views: 2320(1 vote) - The Antidote to Anger: Best New Year's Resolutions Ever! - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAt the beginning of every new year millions of adults make resolutions to improve some aspect of their life: quit smoking, lose weight, save more money, spend time with family and friends. Though well-intentioned, few actually follow through and achieve their desired degree of success. While ...
Views: 2317 - Debunking Six Common Myths About Anger - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI've been presenting seminars on healing anger for twenty years and it never ceases to amaze me how much misinformation is circulating about one of life's most powerful emotion. I've decided it is time to debunk some of the most common myths. So without further ado, let me begin with... Myth ...
Views: 2290 - 10 WAYS TO STOP PEOPLE FROM ANNOYING YOU - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Janet PfeifferThey're like mosquitoes on a hot summer night - those irritating and annoying people. They can be found anywhere from our families or coworkers to drivers on the roadways to complete strangers we encounter while on vacation. Their quirky behaviors and annoying habits can ruin our day. Other ...
Views: 2277 - That Was Really Awkward! - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2012 from Janet PfeifferLast week I spoke to a group of employees at a manufacturing company. The topic was “Dealing With Really B~A~D* People”. No one is immune to these “challenging” individuals. They appear in our place of employment, our communities, our churches and most unfortunately our families. I’m no ...
Views: 2274 - A W-I-S-E APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIn college, one of my philosophy professors would frequently have the class debate a hot topic. He'd randomly divide the class in half and have each side present their best argument in support of their assigned position. Regardless of how you felt personally, you were expected to gather as many ...
Views: 2228 - Anger in the Workplace - by Submitted on May 14, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer"One of my coworkers is so annoying! She's always making personal calls when she's supposed to be working. Then when she can't finish her work she asks me for help!" Recently, one of my clients (a mechanic) complained about missing tools. "We are all responsible for our own tools. I keep mine ...
Views: 2224 - Tongue Twisters: When Others Manipulate Your Words - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2015 from Janet PfeifferEffectively communicating with others can present enough challenges without the added issue of one who twists and distorts your words. Below is a transcript of a recent conversation I had with someone (who refers to himself as a member of the black race) on facebook. He posted the controversial ...
Views: 2207 - The Silent Assassin - by Submitted on May 17, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI read advice columns. I sometimes find valuable information that benefits me or I can pass along to others. At times I shake my head in awe at the nonsensical issues people seek advice about, like the biggest debate ever in Dear Abby’s history: which is the correct way to hang a roll of toilet ...
Views: 2200 - Assertive Anger: Tough With a Twist - by Submitted on May 08, 2013 from Janet PfeifferSixteen years ago, I moved to a quiet dead-end street. Imagine my dismay when I discovered that I lived near a teenage heavy metal band! As day turned to evening, my silent haven was interrupted by the sound of innocent drums and guitars being tortured! . I was angry. I phoned the police ...
Views: 2197(1 vote) - THE HARDEST THING - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2012 from Janet PfeifferMy anger management group is no place for the weak. While I am very compassionate and respectful, I have zero tolerance for denial, blame, self-pity and the like. Monday night was no exception. "Sharon" sat down on the large blue sofa along with the other women. As always, I asked the ladies ...
Views: 2177 - The High Price Tag of Anger: What is it Really Costing You? - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThere's no doubt: anger takes its toll on every facet of our lives. From on the job, to our personal relationships, to our health and overall enjoyment of life, destructive anger can wreak havoc in our daily lives. On the job it cost businesses over $4.2 billion, yes -billion, a year. ...
Views: 2150(1 vote) - Free Speech: We Can't Afford the High Price Tag - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAmerica, despite all of her current woes, still remains the greatest country in the world. One of our ultimate freedoms is the right to openly express ourselves without fear of retribution. Journalists, reporters and news broadcasters are all guaranteed protection under the Constitution. Free ...
Views: 2136 - One Key Eliminates Fighting Forever - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2013 from Janet PfeifferConflict and fighting are not synonymous. Although they very often go hand-in-hand, disagreements need not end up as arguments, fights, or physical altercations. A conflict is simply two forces in opposition: a husband and wife disagree on where to spend their vacation; you support the ...
Views: 2135(2 votes) - That's All Right - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2012 from Janet PfeifferShe was only nineteen, a college sophomore, when she started her own sorority. Disillusioned with the superficial behaviors/attitudes of those already on campus, she wanted one that was all-inclusive of every interested female and one devoted to serving the community. Together with a hand-select ...
Views: 2129 - Sarcasm: Is It Humor or Something Sinister? - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI hate sarcasm. It's rude, hurtful, and offensive. Yet I have met many people who insist that it is humorous. "Sarcasm can be funny, " my friend John told me. "I beg to differ", I replied. "There is nothing funny about saying something hurtful to another person." "Yes, but...", he continued, ...
Views: 2128 - The 15 Minute Conflict Resolution Solution - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI abhor arguing. It's a waste of precious time and energy and robs me of my serenity. Conflict, however, is horse of another color. Conflict occurs daily in each of our lives. It simply means that there is a disagreement, a difference of opinion. My husband and I engage in disputes on a regular ...
Views: 2123 - What Makes (Mike) Rice Boil? A Look at Aggressive Behavior - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAggressive behavior - many believe it is a sign of power, self-confidence, and courage. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Last week the country witnessed the termination of Rutgers University head basketball coach, Mike Rice. Video surfaced of his mean-spirited treatment of his players ...
Views: 2123 - You Can Prevent Bad Things From Happening to You - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2014 from Janet PfeifferIn 1981, the book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, was released. It chronicled Rabbi Harold Kushner's journey of doubt and fear that arose when his three-year old son was diagnosed with a degenerative disease that would dramatically reduce the length of his life. The following year, my ...
Views: 2122 - 10 QUICK TIPS TO RESOLVE FAMILY FEUDS - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2017 from Janet PfeifferFamilies can be our greatest source of joy as well as a never ending cause of stress. Comprised of a diverse blend of personalities, families are a mixture of quirky behaviors, opposing viewpoints, various needs, beliefs, and values, along with opposing methods of how members perform certain ...
Views: 2116(1 vote) - "Did You Hear About...? A Look at Rumors and Gossip" - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI abhor rumors and gossip. They're petty, destructive, and hateful. Yet, truth-be-told, I have engaged in gossip from time-to-time. I'm not proud of it, just honest. I could try to justify it by saying that I've only done so out of concern for others. Sometimes the sharing of information about ...
Views: 2095 - Fatal Mistakes in Conflict Resolution - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFew people I know like to the process of resolving disagreements. In fact, when they hear "conflict" they automatically equate it with fighting. Yet one is not comparable to the other. Conflict is simply two forces in opposition. Fighting is defined with such words as "violent, battle, combat, ...
Views: 2094(1 vote) - Betrayal, Injustice, and Loss: Getting Beyond the Anger - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2013 from Janet PfeifferOne of the predominant complaints I hear from my clients is "This isn't fair!" Referring to an incident where they or someone else has suffered a perceived injustice, they feel angered that things were not equitable. There is a universal misconception that if you play by the rules you will be ...
Views: 2088 - WHAT TO DO WHEN CONFLICT RESOLUTION FAILS - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2017 from Janet PfeifferWouldn't life be wonderful if every time we disagreed with someone we could find a perfect solution that would satisfy each party and put the issue to rest once and for all? So often when a conflict arises, we spend an enormous amount of time and energy debating it, trying to prove our position, ...
Views: 2065 - THE FOUR SURPRISING CAUSES OF STRESS - by Submitted on Dec 20, 2017 from Janet PfeifferHow many of you would like to live a stress-free life? I'm guessing it would be quite a few. Most people I know view stress as a negative experience. Yet like any emotion, it doesn't have to prove detrimental to our health or overall well-being. Stress is actually less complicated than one ...
Views: 2059 - Problem Interactions in the Workplace - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2015 from Janet PfeifferMost of us work for a living. On or off the job we are bound to encounter a wide range of, shall I say, challenging personalities? Bullies, intimidators, hypocrites, backstabbers, underminers, instigators, complainers, gossips, withholders, and know-it-alls just to name a few. Their presence can ...
Views: 2039 - SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS TO ANGER - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2017 from Janet PfeifferI've spoken many times about the importance of all feelings, anger included. With every emotion we experience, we have the ability to learn much about ourselves. No feeling is inherently wrong. It's how we choose to express and use them that determines their value. In my book "The Secret ...
Views: 2039 - LAUGH AWAY ANGER - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2017 from Janet PfeifferPeople take life far too seriously. There are important issues in our world such as child abuse, war, poverty, starvation, disease, etc. These are all matters critical for the well-being of humanity. Each one needs to be addressed and resolved quickly in order to protect mankind and eliminate ...
Views: 2034 - Pet Peeves: The Things That Anger Us the Most - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI frequently receive emails from people upset about something in their life that is not going according to their plans. They scrutinize the behaviors of others and complain because people are not doing what they are supposed to be doing according to their standards. Some of the most frequent ...
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