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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- The Spiritual Solution to Anger - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI've spoken many times about the importance of all feelings, anger included. With every emotion we experience, we have the ability to learn much about ourselves. No feeling is inherently wrong. It's how we choose to express and use them that determines their value. In The Secret Side of ...
Views: 1865(2 votes) - Betrayal, Injustice, and Loss: Getting Beyond the Anger - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2013 from Janet PfeifferOne of the predominant complaints I hear from my clients is "This isn't fair!" Referring to an incident where they or someone else has suffered a perceived injustice, they feel angered that things were not equitable. There is a universal misconception that if you play by the rules you will be ...
Views: 2088 - Fear: The Good, the Bad, and the Solutions - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI've never met anyone who wasn't afraid of something. I have encountered those who claim they aren't scared of anything but upon deeper introspection, they realize that there are things in life that they worry about or that concern them. (Both worry and concern are milder forms of fear.) There ...
Views: 1358 - (Really Smart) Advice About Anger - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2013 from Janet PfeifferOne of my clients complained that her boyfriend had an annoying habit of constantly chewing gum. It drove her crazy! "Aside from that, he's perfect." she exclaimed. "But how do I get him to stop? He knows it bugs me yet he continues to do it. He says he's not doing anything wrong and then ...
Views: 2320(1 vote) - Five Tips to Mediate a Dispute - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI enjoy a good robust debate. I find it can be very stimulating and present an opportunity for me to learn something new. In every facet of life, we encounter individuals with whom we have disagreements. Recently, a woman in her forties came into my office seeking suggestions as to how she could ...
Views: 1132 - How to Approach and Assist an Angry Person - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe all encounter angry people in every walk of life. Some will confront them, others avoid them like the plague. There are times when either approach is acceptable. I do not like drama. However, I am concerned about others when they appear upset. And I am very knowledgeable as to how to help ...
Views: 2565(3 votes) - THE NAIL IN THE FENCE - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer"The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath." (The Buddha). A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, "Every time you're angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you've learned to control your anger, start removing them." Six months later, the boy had removed every nail ...
Views: 1822(2 votes) - Road Rage: Drive to Stay Alive - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2013 from Janet PfeifferRoad rage is one of the leading causes of accidents and deaths in this country. According to a report by CNN, an estimated 28,000 people each year are killed due to aggressive drivers. It's easy to see how cities such as Miami, NY, Boston, LA, and Washington DC (the cities with the most ...
Views: 1586(3 votes) - Domestic Abuse: What Everyone Needs to Know - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDomestic abuse is one of the most serious epidemics modern society faces today. With 1/3 of all women reporting incidences of violence in the home and/or in intimate relationships (this does not reflect the numbers that go unreported nor those of men being abused), no socio-economic group, ...
Views: 1754(1 vote) - Ten Tips for Dealing With Difficult People - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDifficult people - ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don't, it's a fact of life that they are all around us - in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others ...
Views: 1635(3 votes) - One Key Eliminates Fighting Forever - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2013 from Janet PfeifferConflict and fighting are not synonymous. Although they very often go hand-in-hand, disagreements need not end up as arguments, fights, or physical altercations. A conflict is simply two forces in opposition: a husband and wife disagree on where to spend their vacation; you support the ...
Views: 2135(2 votes) - Creating a Peace Plan - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWhile it's important to understand, express, manage, diffuse, and heal your anger, imagine how much easier it would be to prevent outside forces from irritating you from the get go? You can learn to be emotionally unaffected by the drama and chaos around you. Rest assured, I'm not suggesting ...
Views: 1648(1 vote) - Violence, 911, and War: There's a Better Way - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2013 from Janet PfeifferSince the beginning of time, wars have been fought in an effort to bring about peace. Have we accomplished that yet? Maybe violence isn't the answer. I am a peace lover. Not only do I promote peaceful coexistence but I also live peacefully with others. I do not argue or fight; I do not ...
Views: 1440 - Children of Divorce: The Angry Aftermath - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDivorce is difficult for everyone. Even though children are resilient in many areas of life, divorce takes its toll on the youngest family members as well. While superficially they may appear to be fine, their internal struggles and turmoil are often hidden beneath an exterior of normalcy. ...
Views: 1607(1 vote) - The Dangers of Tolerating or Accepting What You Cannot Change (and the Surprising Alternative) - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2013 from Janet PfeifferYears ago, there was a major campaign in schools teaching children to tolerate the difference of others. It was an attempt to create a more comfortable and conducive environment for children of all cultures and ethnic backgrounds to coexist peacefully. I suppose some good came of it but still ...
Views: 1589 - Pet Peeves: The Things That Anger Us the Most - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI frequently receive emails from people upset about something in their life that is not going according to their plans. They scrutinize the behaviors of others and complain because people are not doing what they are supposed to be doing according to their standards. Some of the most frequent ...
Views: 2009 - Say What You Mean Without Being Mean - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer(Excerpt from BUILT TOUGH? ) I often meet people who refer to themselves as tough. My perception, at times, is quite the opposite: I see them as mean-spirited. What exactly does it mean to be tough? Ford Motor Company manufactures several size trucks. Their tag line is "Ford trucks, built ...
Views: 1623(1 vote) - M & M's: Motive and Method - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2013 from Janet PfeifferPeople often ask me if they should say something to someone or make a particular life decision. My response to them is, "Why would you and how are you planning to?" Motive (intent) is a key factor in determining the validity of any decision. "No one likes my sister-in-law and I'm going to ...
Views: 1527 - Spiritual Healing Through Forgivenss - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe have all been hurt by the things others have said or done (notice I didn’t include “to me/us” at the end of that sentence).* Very often, we say or do things that are inconsiderate or hurtful to the other party. Sometimes, we commit an offense by failing to do what we need to. Whether ...
Views: 1184 - The Healing Power of Forgiveness - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2013 from Janet PfeifferForgiveness is oftentimes misunderstood and difficult to put into action. For some, when another offends or betrays them, moving beyond the anger and the need to get even can feel impossible. Forgiveness is a conscious choice to let go of all anger, pain, bitterness, and negative feelings ...
Views: 1523 - The "SO - What" Method: Six Steps to Resolving Conflict - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2013 from Janet PfeifferConflict: two forces in opposition. Resolution: the process of finding a mutually satisfying solution. There's nothing threatening here yet for many they'd rather have a root canal rather than try to resolve a dispute. They either seek a quick departure or prepare themselves for an ugly battle. ...
Views: 3730 - The Pitfalls of Guilt and Shame - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2013 from Janet PfeifferThere have been times in our lives when most of us have struggled with issues of guilt or shame. I have. The night my mom and I put my dad into a nursing home was by far one of the worst moments in my life. To a great extent this was due to the extreme guilt I was feeling over my perceived ...
Views: 1508 - I'm Just Too Nice: The Truth About Passive Behavior - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2013 from Janet PfeifferPeople often tell me, "My problem is that I'm just too nice! That's why I get hurt a lot." But what they perceive as a case of terminal politeness, I see as an issue of passive behavior. Don't misunderstand: most of these people truly are nice. But those who are yes people, who don' t disagree ...
Views: 3078(3 votes) - Sticks and Stones: Disarming Hurtful Words - by Submitted on May 29, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI used to pride myself on being sensitive. The problem was I was easily hurt by the things other people said to me. I lived in a chronic state of pain which lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and low self-esteem. But the alternative (being cold and aloof) was less appealing so I resigned myself ...
Views: 1508(1 vote) - Four Keys to Overcoming Anger - by Submitted on May 22, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI facilitated an anger management support group for several years. One woman began attending shortly after our first meeting. Her name was Joan. Joan's marriage of thirty plus years was in trouble. Admitting she had a bad temper, her husband recently filed for divorce. She was devastated. "I ...
Views: 1829(3 votes) - Assertive Anger: Tough With a Twist - by Submitted on May 08, 2013 from Janet PfeifferSixteen years ago, I moved to a quiet dead-end street. Imagine my dismay when I discovered that I lived near a teenage heavy metal band! As day turned to evening, my silent haven was interrupted by the sound of innocent drums and guitars being tortured! . I was angry. I phoned the police ...
Views: 2197(1 vote) - Ten Tips on How to Argue With an Idiot - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ...
Views: 1546(2 votes) - What Makes (Mike) Rice Boil? A Look at Aggressive Behavior - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAggressive behavior - many believe it is a sign of power, self-confidence, and courage. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Last week the country witnessed the termination of Rutgers University head basketball coach, Mike Rice. Video surfaced of his mean-spirited treatment of his players ...
Views: 2123 - Three Defining Moments That Changed My Life - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from Janet PfeifferIn his book, Self Matters, Dr. Phil explains that each of us has ten defining moments in our lives. These moments are deep and profound and can change who we are and redirect the course of our lives. While I've never actually counted mine, I can easily identify the top three. The first ...
Views: 2618 - KISSAway Anger - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2013 from Janet PfeifferMy guest on my radio show today, Dr. Erica Kosal, has been dealing with the devastating illness of her husband, Jim, for the past five years. Understandably, she has experienced a wide range of emotions including stress and anger. But this college professor and mother of two refused to allow ...
Views: 1649(1 vote) - The ONE KEY to Making Love Last a Lifetime - by Submitted on Feb 15, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAh, Love! What could be more wonderful than falling in love? We find ourselves attracted to another and regardless of our age we feel like a teenager falling in love for the first time. And for a period of time, all is right with the world. But then reality sets in. We begin to notice things ...
Views: 1854 - The Sky is NOT My Limit: Setting and Enforcing Boundaries - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2013 from Janet PfeifferMany of us allow others to treat us in ways that are uncomfortable, unhealthy or disrespectful. We remain silent rather than address our disdain for fear of retribution: what will happen if I speak up? Will I lose my job? Will my best friend get angry with me? Will my family choose to no longer ...
Views: 1698 - Free Speech: We Can't Afford the High Price Tag - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAmerica, despite all of her current woes, still remains the greatest country in the world. One of our ultimate freedoms is the right to openly express ourselves without fear of retribution. Journalists, reporters and news broadcasters are all guaranteed protection under the Constitution. Free ...
Views: 2136 - Ten Ways to Get Along With Family Members You Don't Like - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe all have them: the obnoxious siblings, the drama queen mother, the trouble-maker cousin, the gossip monger, know-it-alls, rude, selfish, and even mean-spirited family members. We try to avoid them yet fate often intervenes and brings us face-to-face with our nemesis. We dread family ...
Views: 11715(1 vote) - The Death Of Innocence - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2012 from Janet PfeifferThe recent tragedy in Newtown, CT, is one of unspeakable horror. The latest in what appears to be an alarming trend of mass murders in American communities is, in my mind, the most gruesome - due not only to the sheer numbers of lives lost but more significantly because of the tender ages of the ...
Views: 1602(1 vote) - Six Surefire Ways to Offend Someone - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2012 from Janet PfeifferA recent email announcement sent to my entire database promoting my latest book, The Great Truth: Shattering Life's Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life's Sole Purpose, prompted two angry responses. In both cases, the recipients took offense to my ...
Views: 1612(1 vote) - Her Way or the Highway - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2012 from Janet PfeifferFor more than a month I posted her picture on my social media sites. "Please open your heart and adopt 'Odette'. She is a precious yorkie/poodle mix rescued from a puppy mill." Her photo didn't do her justice. She sat huddled in the back of her cage at RBARI shelter in Oakland, her tortured life ...
Views: 1516 - I Don't Do Ugly - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2012 from Janet PfeifferShe's strikingly beautiful: tall, large oval-shaped eyes, full lips, dark flowing hair. Her exotic look could land her on the cover of any fashion magazine. Her personality perfectly suits her ample frame. She's outgoing and bubbly, intense and opinionated and I've enjoyed the two years she's ...
Views: 2362 - The Nature of Nature (Excerpt from The Great Truth) - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI have two acres of beautifully landscaped property with colorful gardens. In each, I’ve planted a wide array of flora: roses, tulips, chrysanthemums, geraniums, daisies, sweet Williams, peonies, and others whose names elude me. One day, while preparing dinner in the kitchen, I heard voices ...
Views: 1784 - That's All Right - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2012 from Janet PfeifferShe was only nineteen, a college sophomore, when she started her own sorority. Disillusioned with the superficial behaviors/attitudes of those already on campus, she wanted one that was all-inclusive of every interested female and one devoted to serving the community. Together with a hand-select ...
Views: 2129 - Oh, Deer! - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI was ecstatic when we moved into our home fifteen years ago. Leaving behind a congested suburb for a more rural area abundant with wildlife was a dream-come-true for me. I’ve always felt a special connection with nature and to be living among her finest was heaven! Herds of deer, magnificent ...
Views: 1456 - THE HARDEST THING - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2012 from Janet PfeifferMy anger management group is no place for the weak. While I am very compassionate and respectful, I have zero tolerance for denial, blame, self-pity and the like. Monday night was no exception. "Sharon" sat down on the large blue sofa along with the other women. As always, I asked the ladies ...
Views: 2177 - The Nail in the Fence - by Submitted on May 28, 2012 from Janet Pfeiffer“The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath.” (The Buddha). A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, “Every time you’re angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you’ve learned to control your anger, start removing them.” Six months later, the boy had removed every nail ...
Views: 4290 - The Silent Assassin - by Submitted on May 17, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI read advice columns. I sometimes find valuable information that benefits me or I can pass along to others. At times I shake my head in awe at the nonsensical issues people seek advice about, like the biggest debate ever in Dear Abby’s history: which is the correct way to hang a roll of toilet ...
Views: 2200 - That Was Really Awkward! - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2012 from Janet PfeifferLast week I spoke to a group of employees at a manufacturing company. The topic was “Dealing With Really B~A~D* People”. No one is immune to these “challenging” individuals. They appear in our place of employment, our communities, our churches and most unfortunately our families. I’m no ...
Views: 2274 - One Part is the Whole - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI have been busy with the media discussing the recent killing of seventeen year old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Florida. A volunteer with a local neighborhood watch committee observed Martin walking alone wearing a “hoodie” sweatshirt draped over his head. The volunteer, George Zimmerman, called ...
Views: 1793 - Only Funny in the Sunday's - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI love reading the Sunday funnies. One of my favorites is For Better or Worse by Lynn Johnston. In a recent comic, the young child, Mike, was having a bad day. Trying to construct a building out of Lego-type pieces, gravity was working against him as the entire structure collapsed. In a fit of ...
Views: 1886(1 vote) - A Year Unlike Any Other - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI’m not much for New Year’s resolutions; I don’t make them at all. People have good intentions and initially put forth a valiant effort. But we all know as January progresses enthusiasm wanes and efforts diminish. By February, most are chastising themselves for being failures and vowing to be ...
Views: 1217 - No Reason - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2011 from Janet PfeifferNo Reason Ten years ago, my Uncle John passed away. Although in his eighty’s, it was hard on his son, Johnny. Three months later, Johnny’s only child, his beautiful fourteen year old daughter, was in a car that plunged into an icy Ohio River where she tragically drowned. Her mother, Johnny’s ...
Views: 1685(1 vote) - I Didn't Order That! - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2010 from Janet PfeifferI admire women who return to school in midlife. Mothers, wives and business women who volunteer and care for their elderly parents, their days are already filled to capacity, their lives overflowing with responsibilities. Yet they seek out the best colleges with the most stringent requirements ...
Views: 2396(2 votes)