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Articles from Karla Downing | Selfgrowth.com
- Are You a Perfectionist or Someone Who Values Doing Things Well? - by Submitted on May 29, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you wondering if you are a perfectionist or just someone who values doing things well? Answer the following seven questions: When you fail or fall short of your expectations, do you: Beat yourself up in your mind with negative self-talk? People who value doing the best they can ...
Views: 1749(1 vote) - Christian Codependency: 7 Signs You Are A Christian Codependent - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency? These 7 signs will help you to decide whether you are a Christian codependent or not. When we are being "codependent" it means we have an unhealthy way of reacting to a problem in a person close to us or a pattern of coping with life that is ...
Views: 1847(1 vote) - Christian Codependency: Four Biblical Reasons You Need Strong Relationship Boundaries - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2012 from Karla DowningIf you are struggling with Christian codependency, you probably have weak boundaries. This article will give you four biblical reasons you need strong relationship boundaries. People will know their choices carry consequences. God has established the law of reaping and sowing to teach people ...
Views: 2053(1 vote) - Christian Marriage Help: How to Face Your Fears - by Submitted on May 24, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian marriage help will show you how to face your fears in your difficult marriage. Fear is a natural response. It is a God-given basic survival mechanism to protect by enabling a person to heighten senses and attend to what is threatening by either fighting or fleeing. Some people ...
Views: 1527(1 vote) - Christian Marriage Help: Let Go Of The Obsession Over Your Husband's Behavior - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help that will enable you to let go of the obsession over your husband's behavior? Whatever takes up your mental and emotional energy and robs you of the ability to live your life is your obsession. When you have marriage problems that your husband will ...
Views: 3013(1 vote) - Christian Marriage Help: Six Ways to Respond to Your Husband's Use of Pornography - by Submitted on May 16, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help because your husband is using pornography? Here are six ways to respond to your husband's use of pornography: Honesty. Be honest about how you are feeling about the porn and how it is affecting your relationship. Be honest about what you need. Be ...
Views: 1328(1 vote) - Christian Marriage Help: What Submission Is and Isn't - by Submitted on May 15, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help? Are you wanting to know what submission is and isn't? Then, this article will answer your questions. Ephesians 5:22-24 says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord" (NIV). Sounds simple, but what does that really mean in a marriage? Some ...
Views: 1066(1 vote) - Christian Marriage Help: Wives Believe Internet Pornography Is Cheating - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help because you are a wife that believes internet pornography is cheating? "Internet cheating" is rampant even with men in the church. It includes viewing pornography, engaging in chat room conversations, sending personal pictures online, and ...
Views: 1950(1 vote) - Eight Things You Can Do To Get Your Husband To Do What You Want - by Submitted on May 02, 2012 from Karla DowningDo most of your attempts to change your husband not only fail but result in distancing him from you and making your marriage worse? If so, you will benefit from the following eight things you can do to get your husband to do what you want: Ask if it is a good time to talk. If you don't ...
Views: 834(1 vote) - Christian Marriage Help: How Do You Respect Your Husband When He Does Things You Don't Respect? - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help to understand the biblical teaching to respect your husband (Ephesians 5:33)? Here are some questions behind the question: How do you respect your husband when he does things you don't respect? How do you show respect to a husband who is doing ...
Views: 1619(1 vote) - Marriage Help For Christians - 7 Signs That Your Spouse's Affair Is Truly Over - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2012 from Karla DowningThis marriage help for Christians will allow you to recognize whether or not your spouse's affair is really over. Affairs don't necessarily end at the first disclosure or discovery. There is often a time period where the spouse says it is over but continues the affair. During this time, the ...
Views: 1358(1 vote) - 4 Steps to Let Go of Denial - Christian Relationship Help - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help? This article offers 4 steps to let go of denial. A friend of mine complained that her college daughter didn't act responsibly while in Hawaii on her parent-paid vacation. The expectation was that she would call home regularly and not get into ...
Views: 1395 - 4 Truths About Biblical Submission in Marriage - Marriage Help For Christians - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2012 from Karla DowningSubmission is the "S" word in church. In this modern day of equality, women's rights, and women working, many pastors avoid it or quickly skip over it, focusing on the man having to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). There is still confusion about how women in ...
Views: 1334 - 6 Scriptural Misbeliefs of Christian Codependency - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2012 from Karla DowningThe following 6 Scriptural misbeliefs form the basis of Christian codependency. They show how inaccurate Scriptural beliefs contribute to codependent choices. The cure is an accurate understanding of what the Bible says about ourselves and how we are to value ourselves compared to others in ...
Views: 1413 - 6 Scriptural Misunderstandings of Christian Codependency - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2012 from Karla DowningThe following 6 Scriptural misunderstandings form the basis of Christian codependency. They show how inaccurate Scriptural understandings contribute to Christian codependency. The cure is an accurate understanding of what the Bible says about ourselves and how we are to value ourselves compared ...
Views: 1950 - 9 Dysfunctional Family Maneuvers by People in the Bible - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2012 from Karla DowningDysfunctional family maneuvers allow the family to deal with their emotions and anxiety without having to face the truth about what is really going on. Dysfunction entered families when sin entered the human race in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve's "first family" experienced dissention, the ...
Views: 3904 - 9 Relationship Red Flags - What Not to Overlook, Excuse, Or Deny - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2012 from Karla DowningThese 9 Relationship Red Flags have the potential of being overlooked, excused, or denied. All are reasons to stop, look, and listen to what is going on and carefully consider whether or not you should continue in the relationship. All have the potential of desensitizing you to their affects the ...
Views: 3197 - A Seven Step Plan For Detaching From Manipulative People - Christian Relationship Help - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian relationship help? Then here is a seven step plan for detaching from manipulative people. People do all kinds of things to pressure us to do what they want us to do. It is up to us to see through the manipulation and do what is right for us. People use guilt, ...
Views: 4797 - Abuse: Five Signs That You Are Dating An Abusive Man - by Submitted on May 01, 2012 from Karla DowningAbuse in relationships is all too common. Once you are in a committed relationship with someone who is abusive, you will find that it is harder to get out of it than when you are dating. This is because you begin to experience a crisis of self-doubt and low self-esteem the longer you are in the ...
Views: 1179 - Abusive Relationships: Changing Your Victim Mentality - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2012 from Karla DowningAbusive relationships challenge our ability to take care of ourselves and leave us feeling victimized. It is important that you work on changing your victim mentality. Many of us complain that we are victims in our relationships. By claiming we are victims, we are giving up our power to do ...
Views: 2915 - Boundaries With Adult Children: Lessons From the Prodigal Son - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2013 from Karla DowningAre you trying to figure out your boundaries with your adult children? Then you will benefit from these lessons from the prodigal son. In Luke 15:11-32, a son asks for his inheritance early and then leaves his home to spend it foolishly. When he hits a bottom and realizes he needs to come home ...
Views: 5544 - Christian Boundaries - 10 Truths About Boundaries In Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2012 from Karla DowningChristian boundaries are a source of confusion for many Christians, especially when they are in difficult relationships. We wonder what a boundary is. We wonder if we have the right to set boundaries. We wonder what our boundaries should be. We wonder if we should adjust our limits when people ...
Views: 1472 - Christian Boundaries - 7 Reasons Why Setting Boundaries Is Difficult for Christians - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2012 from Karla DowningHaving good Christian boundaries is something we need to work on all the time in every area of our lives, yet setting boundaries isn't easy and is a cause of confusion in our relationships. These are the seven reasons why it is difficult for many Christians to ...
Views: 1227 - Christian Boundaries: Five Guidelines to Set Scriptural Boundaries in Difficult Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with setting Christian boundaries? Difficult relationships require you to set boundaries, yet the complicated relationship dynamics make setting boundaries hard to do. To make it worse, there are common misunderstandings about what the Bible says about boundaries that cause us to ...
Views: 5464 - Christian Codependency - How to Detach and Still Stay Engaged in the Relationship - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2012 from Karla DowningThis article addresses Christian codependency by showing you how to detach and still stay engaged in the relationship. Detachment is the opposite of being attached or enmeshed. It is similar to differentiation or individuation where it is implied that you have a separateness that allows you to ...
Views: 3936 - Christian Codependency: 10 Things Codependents Must Do to Change - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2012 from Karla DowningThere are 10 things Christian codependents must do to change the patterns that keep them reacting codependently in life and relationships. If you are a codependent, you live your life focusing on other people. In order to change, you must take the focus off others and put the focus onto your own ...
Views: 1793 - Christian Codependency: Are You a Mary or Martha in Your Relationships? - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency? Answering these questions will help you determine whether you are a Mary or Martha in your relationships. In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and his disciples were guests in the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Mary sat at Jesus' feet enjoying his ...
Views: 1920 - Christian Codependency: Changing the Beliefs Underlying False Guilt - by Submitted on May 03, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency? If you answered yes, then you probably experience feeling guilty often in your relationships. Codependents struggle with guilt in relationships because they hold untrue beliefs about relationships. They need to change their inaccurate beliefs about ...
Views: 2341 - Christian Codependency: Does God Want You To Be Codependent? - by Submitted on May 07, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for help for your Christian codependency? If so, do you wonder if God wants you to be codependent? Christian codependents tend to overly give, ignore their own needs, tolerate mistreatment, and lose themselves while believing God is pleased with them. Many of the beliefs people ...
Views: 1848 - Christian Codependency: Four Beliefs That Prevent You From Nurturing Yourself - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2012 from Karla DowningMost of us don't do well with nurturing ourselves. We are experts at taking care of others' needs and ignoring our own needs. Some of this self-neglect comes from four Christian codependency beliefs that prevent you from nurturing yourself. Which of these beliefs have contributed to you not ...
Views: 1301 - Christian Codependency: Four Things That Will Make You Enjoy Your Life - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you feeling overwhelmed with the pressures, stresses, and demands of life? Christian codependency will rob you of the ability to enjoy your life by keeping you overwhelmed, stressed, unable to say no, and unwilling to take care of yourself, because it convinces you that you have no choice ...
Views: 932 - Christian Codependency: Four Things to Do to Stop Triangulating in Your Relationships - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2012 from Karla DowningIf you are looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help you by providing four things to do to stop triangulating in your relationships. You triangulate when you enter into a relationship dynamic between two other people in an attempt to fix the problem. Here ...
Views: 1762 - Christian Codependency: Helping Those That Won't Help Themselves - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2012 from Karla DowningThere are many facets to Christian codependency. One of them is that there are some people who refuse to help themselves. Martyrs suffer because they get a payoff: They feed an image that says, "I don't deserve anything better, so I'll continue to endure this." Along with the martyr stroking his ...
Views: 13963 - Christian Codependency: How to Recognize Burnout - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian codependency help that will enable you to recognize burnout? "Burnout" occurs when you have pushed yourself too far for too long (usually because you believe you have no other choice and God wants you to), and as a result you find yourself emotionally, physically, ...
Views: 2109 - Christian Codependency: Identifying the Beliefs Underlying False Guilt - by Submitted on May 03, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency? If you answered yes, then you probably experience feeling guilty often in your relationships. If you hold the following beliefs, you will struggle with guilt in your relationships: - You feel overly responsible for other people and as a result, ...
Views: 1360 - Christian Codependency: Keeping the Peace in Unhealthy Ways - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2012 from Karla DowningIs your Christian codependency resulting in you keeping the peace in unhealthy ways? Here is a biblical example of someone who tried to keep the peace by covering up and fixing a problem codependently and as a result, it later escalated and caused more hurt and fallout. Absalom intervened ...
Views: 1248 - Christian Codependency: Loving Too Much - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with Christian codependency and finding yourself loving too much? Jesus told us that the two main commandments were to love God and others. A popular Christian song had the following lyrics: "And they will know we are Christians by our love." Christians know they should love, ...
Views: 1262 - Christian Codependency: Was Jesus a Codependent? - by Submitted on May 01, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for help with Christian codependency? If you are, you are probably interested in knowing if Jesus was a codependent. Many would answer "Yes" based on the following characteristics of Jesus that are typical of codependents: -Jesus was selfless. -Jesus was a servant. -Jesus ...
Views: 3778 - Christian Dating: Be Equally Yoked in Five Areas - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2012 from Karla DowningWith Christian dating, the one Scripture that comes to mind is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness: What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a ...
Views: 1458 - Christian Friendship: Five Things You Simply Must Do To End Loneliness - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian friendship because you feel lonely? "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, NLT). Feeling lonely is indeed ...
Views: 1288 - Christian Friendship: Four Myths About Loneliness - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with how to overcome loneliness by searching for Christian friendship? Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." ...
Views: 1305 - Christian Marriage Help: Boundaries With Sex for Christian Wives - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help regarding boundaries with sex in your relationship with your husband? If you believe you can't say no, are uncomfortable with your husband's sexual requests, find yourself disliking or avoiding sex, or are upset with your husband looking at ...
Views: 2894 - Christian Marriage Help: Change Yourself, Not Your Spouse - by Submitted on Dec 17, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian marriage help will enable you to take back your power to change your life whether your husband or wife changes or not. The problems in your marriage are real and the changes you want your spouse to make are most likely reasonable. The dilemma that you have is that you can't make ...
Views: 1675 - Christian Marriage Help: Five Causes of Weak Marital Boundaries - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian marriage help to enable you to have stronger boundaries? If you have difficulty setting boundaries in your marriage you are probably tolerating more than you should and allowing yourself to be disrespected. Boundaries are simply what you will and won't do and when ...
Views: 1342 - Christian Parenting: How To Teach Your Son To Respect Women - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2012 from Karla DowningIt is your job as a parent to teach your children. Much of this teaching has to be intentional. One of the things that you must be conscious of is how to teach your son to respect women. God created men and women to be different but not to be any less valuable. Throughout history, women have ...
Views: 2355 - Christian Parenting: Three Things Parents Do That Ensures Irresponsible Entitled Adult Children - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for Christian parenting help on how to raise responsible children? There is an epidemic of irresponsible adult children that need help from their parents well into adulthood. While there are justifiable reasons for this such as a bad economy, the high cost of living, the increase ...
Views: 2362 - Christian Relationship Help - 5 Common Fears In Difficult Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help will enable you to understand the five common fears people have in difficult relationships. Whether it is due to someone's addiction, irresponsibility, personality, mental illness, or abuse, life has uncertainty and complications. Here are the five common ...
Views: 1473 - Christian Relationship Help - 5 Steps For Overcoming Fears In Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help offers five steps to overcome fear by enabling you to face your fears and deal with them rather than propagate or avoid them. Relationships stir up many fears in us, especially when people are doing things that we disagree with. Fear is a basic survival ...
Views: 2441 - Christian Relationship Help - Accept The Things You Cannot Change And Make Choices With The Options - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help will enable you to accept the things you cannot change and make choices with the options you have. The key to surrender is accepting the facts of the situation. While I was in Hawaii on vacation, a three-year-old girl was in the Jacuzzi. Her mom was standing ...
Views: 876 - Christian Relationship Help - Fight, Flight, Or Freeze Responses To Fear In Difficult Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help will enable you to identify these three responses to fear in difficult relationships: fight, flight, or freeze. Each results in different problems in the relationship. 1. Fight Many of us respond to fear and anxiety by trying to force ...
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