The Journey

They told me I was special and exquisite. They told me I would embark on a big journey. And they also told me there would be a big transformation one day and only then I would become special and exquisite. I never understood why I had to go through a process to become something which I already felt I was, but humans, so they told me, only appreciated us once we looked the way they wanted us to look. They told me that I would make someone very happy one day and that made me very happy in return. I thought if my whole existence was to make someone happy one day I don’t mind going through a lot of changes.

I’m very sad that I don’t remember anymore where exactly I was born. They told me somewhere in Africa. It seems like ages ago. I only remember the long journeys from place to place. I was held in many hands and changed owners many times, until I woke up in what looked like a store. Those around me suddenly all looked more or less like me, since we all must have gone through the same sort of transformation. We only varied in sizes. I soon came to the realisation that the bigger ones looked down on me, while the smaller ones looked up to me.

“Whats’s next”? I asked very curious. “Where are we and what will happen now”? I felt the energy in that store to be quite positive. Most people coming in here had beautiful smiles on their faces. I saw a small metal piece in front of me, these metal pieces were everywhere, each of us had one in front of us. There were some signs on them as well. “What is that?” I asked very curious again. “This is your price, silly”! They answered. “The higher the numbers, the more you are worth, the more you are special, and the happier the woman who will get you as a gift.” “Oh my”! I thought. “This is so strange. Why is it that human beings need to pay something in exchange for something in order to be happy?” In that moment I hated my whole existence. I wished I could have made someone happy just by being me, and not because of a metal piece in front of me saying how much I’m worth.

But what was even worse, the cynical among us told me that there was no need to feel so special like I did or to be waiting for something great to happen. They told me that I would be special for maybe 1-2 years and that then I would be exchanged by something called a wedding ring. That I would end up in a box again after that and spend the rest of my life there, or, if I was lucky, be passed on to their daughter to be worn for 1-2 years before I would end up in a tiny and dark box again. But I remained positive. I still believed that I was special and that my magical moment would come. I thought these cynics will stop laughing once they see how magical and special I will be one day.

Then there came the day I had been waiting for. It was a sunny autumn day. Outside the trees and their leaves were so colourful and joyful. There was something magical in the air. I knew it was him when I saw him coming inside the store, but at the same time I had a feeling of uneasiness. He looked nervous, like most men do when they enter the store. The sales woman, incredibly trained at making these men feel at ease, welcomed him with a polite, serene smile and her usual “Je peux vous aider, Monsieur”? Yes, he gladly accepted her help and told her what he was looking for and she immediately accompanied him towards me. I tried so hard to look my best and to send him some positive energy beams. He decided to think about it and left the store again. I felt devastated. Until the next day, when he came in again and went right back to where I was and stood there looking at me for a long time. I wondered what he was thinking. Maybe how I would like on his girl’s finger or whether she would like me. I tried to look my best again, until the sales woman appeared and took me out so he could properly see me. His hands were a bit sweaty, he still seemed so nervous. Suddenly all went fast. I was packed inside a little box, all wrapped up. Soon my moment to shine would arrive. I was feeling ecstatic. I wished I could have shared this wonderful moment with someone.

Again, I went on a long journey. We left that country together and arrived somewhere far away. The air smelled different, the energies were different, the people all looked different. It was loud and noisy. Of course I only had a few glimpses here and there, whenever he took me out of the little box to have a look at me. I still felt his nervousness. “Oh my”, I thought. “Will this young man ever not be so nervous”? I knew he had travelled all that distance to visit his girl. The girl I would make happy. I could hear her voice sometimes. I could hear her laugh. I just couldn’t wait to get out of the box and see the surprise on her face, feel her love and creating a powerful and magical moment which would seem like it lasted forever. A moment which would stay engraved in all our hearts for the rest of our lives.

But day after day went by. Suddenly I barely heard her laugh anymore. I heard them raising their voices. I heard them fighting. I wished I could have jumped out of that box to shout: “Hey, everything will be fine, I’m here, there is nothing to fight about, you belong together”! But the fighting went on, until one evening, I heard her ask: “I know you brought a ring. In two days you are leaving, and I know you are not going to propose, are you”? “A ring? No, I didn’t bring a ring. Why do you think I brought one”? I felt my heart stop beating for a second. How come he would deny the fact that he had spent days looking for me and hours imaging the scenario on how to hand me over to her? I heard her storm towards the cupboard where I was in. She opened his bag and took me out of the bag. “And what is this”? She asked crying.

Most of what happened after I must have eradicated from my mind, it was too painful for me to listen and watch. All I know is that she was wearing me for one to two days but I could feel her pain so strong that I felt sick, I felt like crying a big ocean. He left. She looked at me with tearful eyes and packed me away into some dark corner of her wallet. I was in there a long time. I started thinking that those cynics were right, had been right all along. Only that what happened to me was even worse than anything they had told me. I was supposed to create a magical moment, I wanted to be special, and not being hated and neglected.

After what seemed like an eternity I suddenly heard his voice again. “Oh my God”, I cried. “Maybe they will give it another try”? And then I heard her say: “Please, take this ring back, it was never mine anyway.” He refused to take me back. At this point my feelings were already numb.

The next day I heard them agree on selling me to the same store where he had bought me. They were talking about giving the money to a parentless children’s home. And then I finally understood. My mission, my magical moment was never to make just one person happy. My mission had always been to make many kids happy. I returned to the store with a proud smile and envisioned all those kids and their happy smiles. My journey hasn’t finished yet. Life is full of surprises and I hope I can tell you many more stories of my journeys...

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