The Call of Love: A Relationship Koan

THE CALL OF LOVE
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna

“Each miracle is a gentle winning over from the appeal of guilt to the appeal of love.”

Here we are in the beginning of spring, when all is blooming and the heart, too, reaches for love. And yet, this is a painful time of year for many. There is a sense of being deeply alone, that love has failed them or has come briefly and is now gone. Others feel deep disappointment, that what they had truly hoped for never happened, and never will. And, many hold onto the feeling that they are not deserving of love. The binds of guilt are gripping tightly. All of these individuals may keep trying their best to be more loving, or keep searching around and around for love.

The Course in Miracles teaches that “Each miracle is a gentle wining over from the appeal of guilt to the appeal of love.” In keeping with this, rather than try to repair old wounds and remain in the arms of guilt, we can take another route. Why not take time to stop and explore a relationship koan?

Let’s ask ourselves, what love really is? This simple, pivotal question has the possibility for turning your life around. Soon it becomes easy to see that love is always abundantly available. And, as miracles become everyday matters, the appeal of guilt melts away. The appeal of love is always greater than the painful call of guilt, when we feel that love is possible for us.

So, what is love, truly? So many of us confuse love with a powerful feeling, infatuation, excitement, attachment or even dependency. But feelings necessarily come and go. That is their nature. People we love are with us for awhile and then, they too, must leave one day. Does that mean that love has gone with them? Does love, too, vanish? Real love is not subject to that.
 
“A Feeling That Is Here One Moment and Gone The Next Cannot Be Called Love.”

Real love is not a passing feeling. It is always there for us, simply waiting our recognition. We need only strip away our layers of confusion about what it is. As we cling to passing feelings, people or expectation, we push the true experience of real love away. What we give our attention to, gains power over us.

When we see passing feelings for what they are, simply cobwebs, they have no choice but to dissolve. And, of course as they do, the sun quickly shines right through. It has only been our clinging that has kept us in the dark.

Look through and past your transitory feelings, stand deeply in the essence of who you are. Don’t cling to expectations or memories. Allow the real person to be there before you and allow yourself to be real as well. What happens to the appeal of guilt then?

There’s a beautiful saying, “An eighth of an inch of difference and heaven and earth are set apart.” It only takes an eighth of an inch, a quick decision, a brief moment to allow the sun to shine through. Then, as it does, we become the love we have been seeking and are able to offer it to everyone as well.