Talking to people doesn’t need to be frightening. Making conversation can and should be relaxed and fun, especially in the informal conversations on which this article focuses. There are three main reasons to engage in informal conversation like you would do with your friends or people that you meet socially:
1. The pure enjoyment of expressing yourself and talking with other people
For most of us, the most enjoyable thing we do is spend time talking to people whom we like and with whom we share common interests and can share ideas. If we find another person’s conversation exciting and stimulating this can be a very enjoyable way to spend time. There doesn’t have to be an ultimate aim in this kind of talking to people other than the enjoyment of socializing with others.
2. Getting to know people better
This purpose of talking to people can be very relaxed too. It takes a while to get to know people well but if you practice talking to people, you can develop a deeper, richer understanding of the people with whom you communicate. You will become accomplished at not just hearing people’s words but really understanding how they think, feel and react.
3. Building trust
Perhaps the most significant thing we gain from talking to people is to create a feeling of mutual trust. Again, this kind of relationship takes time as people slowly reveal more of themselves to the other. Talking to people is how we really get to know them.
So these are some of the things that you can gain from talking to people, but how do you do it if you lack the confidence to speak to others? The first thing that helps in this respect is to rid yourself of the idea that every conversation you have has to have some earth-shattering importance or that it has to have a formal topic. Passing the time of day with people is the very fabric of our lives; it binds us together as a community.
The topic doesn’t have to be very exciting at all. Look for inspiration for how to talk to people from the situation that you are currently in with them. You already have a head start at forming this social bond if you talk about whatever it is that has brought you together at this time, even if it is something as mundane as waiting for a bus together.
Don’t be afraid to be the one to begin a conversation. You don’t need to say anything witty or clever; in fact, you probably shouldn’t as that may be off-putting to the other person you are trying to engage in conversation; instead, ask a simple question. Make the question one that is easy to answer and preferably one that does not have a right or wrong answer.
Make it an open question that can’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and it will be a much more fruitful start to your conversation as whoever you are speaking to will have chance to give you a small nugget of personal opinion which begins the process of you getting to know them.
Don’t be selfish in your conversations; take time to really listen to the answers you are given and you will have something to pick up on to carry the conversation forward. Also, share something of yourself in the conversation too; pause and let the other person ask you questions or else it will feel like you are simply interrogating them, not conversing together.
Other than that, relax and let yourself enjoy talking to people and you will find that you soon become much better at conversation skills.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at:
http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Post new comment
Please Register or Login to post new comment.