How To Stop A Controlling Husband: How To Stop Controlling Behavior In Marriage
Did you ever wonder where your controlling spouse sprouted up from? You met, and dated and he/she seemed so nice and then... he doesn't let you think for herself and he constantly asks you what you are doing. Did it happen overnight, or simply out of the blue? Obviously not. Nothing in this world happens in a total vacuum.
In this article I'm going to show you 3 of the major reasons why people become controlling. After you pinpoint the root of your spouse's controlling personality it will be easier for you to look for the most fitting strategy to manage it.
1. Imitation. We do what we see around us and this feels natural to us. Therefore if your spouse grew up in a house where he was exposed to a controlling figure he is apt to pick it up. Values are taught and learned from our first school, our home. Most of our firsts are learned and taught from home including our habits and values. It is surely possible to change the negative things we learned when we were young, but it takes a lot of work.
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2. Trauma. A person who grew up being controlled and not being able to make their own decisions can develop a fear that they will live their whole life being told what to do. Because of this they can become controlling themselves, simply out of self defense.
3. Magnification. People who grew among substance abuser or infidel people are so afraid that their spouse is the same way that they magnify and exaggerate even the littlest thing that hints of such behavior. They associate a simple conversation with a neighbor as the beginning of an affair or one beer as alcoholism.
Living with someone who is controlling is not a picnic (to say the least) but the good news is that it is possible to change. However the way to deal with a control freak who was brought up by very controlling parents will be different than the way to deal with someone who simply magnifies your behavior. Therefore the first step to deal with a controlling spouse is to identify its source. After that you can begin to find the proper treatment.
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When you start falling out of love with your spouse, it's time to have a good look at yourself, your spouse, and your marriage. Something has faded sine you and your spouse first met, and it needs to be revitalised, so that your marriage can become whole and happy again.
It could be that you and your spouse, after just a few years of marriage, started going your own separate ways, without even realizing it. You might have taken up a hobby, together with a friend, and that has ended up taking up a lot of your spare time.
Maybe your spouse decided to take up golf with a few friends, and again, every weekend seems to be filled with everything golf-related. Your careers too, might have played a big part in you and your spouse drifting apart. With those very welcome promotions can a lot of extra responsibilities and extra hours at work, when you should have been at home, together.
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All these things, and other factors would be when you start falling out of love with your spouse, and something needs to be done about it immediately if you want to save your marriage. It is vital that you sit down with your spouse and have a really good chat about the situation as it now stands.
The one very big thing you should discuss is how you're going to cut down on your hobby or work hours, and make some extra time for yourselves to have quality time together. Make sure that once or twice a week you do something pleasant together. Go to a show and a restaurant, see a movie, or just have a great meal at home and cuddle up to watch you wedding video together.
Yes, when you start falling out of love with your spouse, think back to when you first started dating. You spent so much time together, and that is why you eventually ended up getting married. It should be no different now - you need to spend lots of quality time together to keep your marriage alive.
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If you suspect your husband does not love you anymore, and you still love him, you're in a difficult spot. Many women who find themselves in this type of predicament decide to let nature take its course. Unfortunately, unless they intervene and do something to win back the love of the man they married they'll be headed straight for a divorce. If you don't want this to happen to your marriage you need to be aware of the signs that your husband's feelings have shifted, so you can get to work making him fall back in love with you.
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
One of the first signs your husband does not love you anymore is the amount of time he spends with you. If you two were inseparable early in your relationship and you now find that he has better things do to, that's a sign that something is amiss. Quite often couples will fall into a routine that includes them spending less time together. If your husband seems more interested in television or working on his car than he is being with you, don't ignore that. It's a clear sign that he's feeling less connected to you.
Another of the warning signs your husband does not love you anymore is how interested he is in family time. If you typically go away together as a family on vacation and he claims to have too much work to get away, that's not a good thing. He may also bow out of family celebrations including birthday parties and anniversaries. Quite often when a man feels less emotionally invested in the marriage, he feels guilty for celebrating with the family. If you notice this change in him, you need to address it before it's too late.
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Wherever you go, whatever culture you have experienced, you will notice that marriage is one of the most sacred of institutions across the world. With the divorce rate reaching up to a monstrous 87% in some places, it can be quite frightening if you are married. If your marriage is falling apart and are trying your best to keep it together you are to be congratulated. Doing it really is not an easy thing to pull off. Allow me to help you get back on track by sharing what I know as I have been in this situation before.
I am very familiar with the heartaches and pain that you may experience when your spouse says that he or she wants a divorce. It can be a devastating experience especially when you do not want it to end yourself. It is frustrating to see all your self-sacrifices and effort go down the drain in a short period. When I experienced this I started to become desperate I wanted to do anything that would help the marriage. Unfortunately, I went for desperate measures.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!
I allowed my emotions to do the thinking which was disastrous. I was not in a rational state of mind and allowed myself to cry and beg my husband to not get a divorce. This should be the very last thing you should ever do. In fact, I don't recommend it at all since it does not help you in any way. Begging and pleading only makes you look pathetic. I'm sure you would not like to have a pathetic spouse, am I right?
Don't allow yourself to act this way like I did. Try your best to control your emotions and by all means do not act desperate. Luckily for me I saved my marriage from shambles and the good part is that you can too. If you can make this first step, you have made a step in the right direction to saving your marriage!
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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