How to Let Go and Move On When It’s Over

Part of life is accepting that not all relationships and friendships are meant to last forever. People mature at different rates, change hobbies, meet more compatible friends, move away, grow up, grow a backbone, regress, progress, and fall out of love or in love with other people.

“Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.” Oscar Wilde

Sometimes it’s best to move on. A study by researchers at the University of Missouri found that on-and-off relationships can have toxic psychological consequences.

The following tips are for when you or the other person has a difficult time moving on so you can do so as peacefully as possible.

1) Forgive yourself and him or her if you feel resentment or guilt. It’s normal to take a while to truly feel forgiveness, but be persistent. You don’t always need to tell the other person as forgiveness is for you. Do you feel guilty for ending it? Perhaps it’s for the best so that person is free to meet more compatible people.

2) Meditate on the lesson you were meant to learn from the situation, and also on accepting it, which can help overcome grief, remorse, and other difficult emotions.

3) Replace any grief, regret or other negative emotions with gratitude for the experience and future possibilities.

4) Try to perceive the situation less emotionally and more practically and logically. For example, is it someone who you never got to know very well, or even a stranger? If so, your mind might be dwelling on him or her as a target to fill a love or sex void. Tell yourself that person might not even be compatible or have led to any of the good things your mind was hoping for. It’s time to make room for the future and someone new.

5) Sometimes it’s necessary to spiritually block someone, especially when you sense the need to protect yourself against someone who isn’t being rational or respectful. http://www.lovelifeandspirituality.com/how-to-spiritually-block-someone/

6) Communicate psychically. Did it end before you had the chance to talk? Use these steps to express unspoken words from Stephen’s book Your Love Life and Reincarnation:

Express your true feelings to someone you didn’t have the opportunity or courage to. Use this meditation just before sleep at night.
1. Surround yourself with white light.
2. Thank God, your guides and angels of the Light, and/or your Higher Self for guidance and protection.
3. Visualize the person to whom you wish to give a message as clearly as you can. Picture a pink ray of light connecting your heart chakra with theirs.
4. Tell this person, with compassion, what you want to say (“I feel the need to tell you . . .”). This is spiritual communication, not physical, so the other person can be anywhere and still receive your message on a subconscious level.
5. Complete the message with the following: “I surround you in white light and I thank (or forgive) you.” If forgiveness is appropriate, it’s important to feel the forgiveness and release the person. Holding onto resentment will hurt you. Let them go in peace.
6. Important: After the meditation, disconnect completely from this person. Visualize the pink ray of light dissolving and come completely back into your own energy. Visualize a bright white light of protection surrounding and cleansing you and this other person and separating your energy from theirs.

7) Ask for help, and be specific, from whomever you pray to. Your intent is more important than the wording of your request, but make sure to keep your intent aligned with the highest good for all involved. Here is an example that you can use as is or customize: “God, guides and angels of the Light, and/or Higher Self, please allow me to gain the awareness I need through this meditation and through my dreams and daily insight to move on peacefully from this situation. Please assist me to forgive and release myself and ____________ (and everyone else). Please make your guidance clear and concise so that I may easily understand, interpret, and receive it. I thank you and am grateful for your assistance.”

“New clothes are a great way to deal after a breakup. A good mix CD also helps you get through it and... you know, 72 hours of ice cream.” Jennifer Love Hewitt

Copyright © Stephen Petullo, Scott Petullo