How To Improve My Wife's Self Esteem: Helping A Partner With Low Self Esteem

How To Improve My Wife's Self Esteem: Helping A Partner With Low Self Esteem

Having a spouse who suffers from low self esteem can be agony. Common signs of low self esteem are cynical look at things that go around them, the need to reign over you with an iron fist. If you are reading this article because your spouse suffers from low self esteem then I'm sure that you wish that I am going to reveal some magic potion that will build their self esteem and allow you to have a good married life.

Unfortunately, I don't have any magic potions (and either does anyone else have one) and the truth is that YOU can't build their self esteem, only they can. They have to do everything, we are merely their strong support system to help them.

After that disclaimer, though, read on to learn 5 different ways that you can build your spouses self image.

1. Encourage them to pursue past interests. Brainstorm with them what they liked and were good at when they were younger. Encourage them to do more of this or take a class. You never know, you might also find those things interesting and then you can do those things together.

2. Just "out of the blue" buy for them a little nothing. Sometimes it is nice to do little things "just because", such as giving gifts, leaving notes and doing other special things for your partner. These things can (and should) be done outside special occasions too.

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3. No put downs, not when the two of you are alone and surely not in public. Even though you are tremendously frustrated with him/her, refrain from "put downs" and find a less destructive way to deal with your frustration. Remarks like, "you are so lazy" or "stop just sitting around and do something" will further erode their self esteem. Your spouse will use such statements as a proof that he/she is really a total "loser". And, besides this, you should always have the sensitivity not to embarrass ANYONE in public..

4. Be curious in what interests THEM. Do you still remember what their favorite pastime was or is? Have you an inkling of their dreams and wishes? If you don't, then it is a good idea to explore and discover what they are so you can discuss these topics with them. For example, if you discover that your husband likes old cars buy a magazine about old cars. When he starts talking about them listen to what he says (no matter how boring it is to you)". Find out her favorite dinner and make it for her. This demonstrates your love and care for your spouse by actions, which speak louder than words. In addition to building their self esteem, an added bonus is that when you show curiosity in what your spouses does you will also build intimacy.

5. Remember not to go it alone. One of the most powerful compliments that you can give someone is to ask what they thing about something. After you ask them what they think obviously you can't make fun of it. If you disagree then try to have them think that your idea is really their idea. Whether it is a major purchase or just a small thing, ask what your spouse thinks. Whether you are deciding where to go on vacation or changing the color of the bedroom carpet, ask them. This tells them that you trust and value them and this can greatly enhance your marriage.

Your wife's or husband's low self esteem is the root of lots of marital problems. You can't change them yourself but you are definitely in the position to help them to build their self esteem. Take the 5 measures above and enjoy your marriage with someone with a better self esteem.

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Why do so many men foolishly think their wife will be something other than what they themselves are? Why do so many men misbehave on many different levels and in many different ways but expect their wife to behave on all levels and in all ways? Fellows, the "do as I say and not as I do" model does NOT work!

Men, life is designed so that you get FEEDBACK in every area of your life...including your marriage relationship. The attitudes and behaviors your wife projects at you are feedback! Your wife's reactions and responses to you are feedback!

When are you going to start paying attention to that feedback? The better question is, "When are you going to shift your own attitudes and behaviors so that you can start getting the kind of reactions and responses from your wife that you want?" And, a related question is, "Just how long do you ASSUME your wife is going to wait around on you to get it right?"

There are literally millions of men right here in the USA who thought their wife would wait around on them forever...and they were SHOCKED when she moved on.

What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time

Back to the topic of this article... I'm wondering...have you noticed yet how your wife WILL take your negative behaviors and attitudes, morph them into her own personalized versions and exhibit them right back to you?

Do you want some morphed version of YOU coming back at you? No? Then don't LEAD your wife in that direction! The rule is: NEVER show any kind of behavior or attitude except the ones you want your wife to exhibit.

You can't hold grudges, speak sarcastically, act spitefully, talk critically, operate lazily in important areas, behave sloppily, etc. and expect your wife to be a loving, sexual "dream-girl" because it's NOT going to happen.

Well actually, a woman WANTS to be a loving, sexual dream-girl...that's why she so wants a "dream guy" who operates in such a way that it's safe for her dream-girl to come out and "play".

So, what I should have said is that if your mode of operation is primarily negative, then your wife isn't going to be a "dream-girl" with YOU...but she WILL BE a dream-girl for the guy after you who has an attractive, appealing, and sexy mode of operation.

Or, you can hurry up and become her "dream guy" before she moves on and it's too late. Wouldn't you just hate for some other guy to get all the love and sex that's in your wife waiting to come out?

Next, click here now to find out why your spouse is lying to you about the reasons they want a divorce. Follow the information step by step and you will discover the truth, cut through the lies and pain, stop divorce dead in its tracks, and rebuild the strong, intimate marriage you've always wanted... even if your spouse doesn't want to!

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If you've been wondering is your marriage in trouble, chances are very good that it is. We all have an inner instinct when it comes to the relationship we share with our spouse. We can detect quite quickly when something is amiss and when the dynamic has shifted. Even if you two don't openly talk about the friction in the relationship, it can still mean that you're headed right towards an inevitable separation and then subsequent divorce. It doesn't have to end up this way though. If you love your partner and you are committed to keeping your family together, you need to recognize the signs that the marriage is falling apart and then take the necessary steps to fix it before it's too late.

A lack of communication in your relationship may be what brings on the question is your marriage in trouble. Once a couple stops talking about the important issues, the relationship is careening towards a divorce. All relationships take work, and this is especially true of marriage. You have to be able to talk with your spouse about everything that affects you both. If you've delegated the brunt of your conversations to topics that center around your children or finances, you need to address that. Set aside some time to talk with your partner about your relationship and anything that is bothering either of you. Be patient and understanding when they share what they are feeling. You can't rebuild the marriage if you don't have insight into what is troubling your spouse.

What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.

You also have to put your partner's needs about your own if you feel that your marriage is in trouble. It's easy to start to feel resentment towards the person we married if there are issues tearing you two apart. Something like differing views on a parenting situation can actually start to wear away at the foundation of the relationship. If you want to save the relationship, and keep your family intact, learn how to compromise with your partner. Start considering whether winning the argument at hand is worth losing your family over.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. You can save your marriage and rebuild it into a more connected, satisfying relationship.

Do you want to reawaken a committed and loving relationship in your marriage? There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by. Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

Recently, a man said the following to me:

"I am so frustrated! No matter what I do, my wife does not give me love, respect, or sex.

I constantly do nice things for my wife. For example:

o I let her sleep in everyday
o I clean house nonstop
o I take care of the children (the roles between me and my wife are switched)
o I tend to her hand and foot trying to make her feel like a queen
o I try not to let her down in anyway
o I tell her she's beautiful multiple times every day
o I'm always complementing her on how intelligent she is
o I don't get mad and call her names or say hurtful things
o I support her a lot as well as helping pay the bills
o I am currently going to college so I can start a new career and support her and the children better financially

The list can go on and on. I do all of these things and more -- all out of love and because I want to. I do it out of love and because I want to make her happy.

I've always had this strong belief that If you're with someone you should do your best to always keep them happy and I guess me doing everything she asks for is my way of trying to do just that -- to love and keep her happy -- and that is my true motive.

But, I figured since I do those nice things (because I want to) she should feel the same way -- as a 50/50 type of thing -- and that's what I DO NOT get from her.

You know, no one wants their efforts to go unnoticed and under appreciated. All I really want is the same love and respect FROM my wife that I GIVE her. The sex is just a bonus I crave -- LOL!

So hopefully, you can now see why I'm so frustrated. After a while it feels like I'm just being taken advantage of and taken for granted."

This sad story is one that I've heard enumerable times. And, it's understandable why husbands like this guy are so frustrated.

After all, it's only logical that when a husband is nice to his wife that she should be nice back to him, right?

Well, it may be "logical" but "logic" is NOT what drives a woman's heart or desires.

Let me tell you the cold, hard truth...a woman can only SURRENDER her heart and her desires...she can only GIVE her love, respect, and sexuality...to a real MAN...one that she LOOKS UP TO AND ADMIRES.

What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?

To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!

And, there are a thousand and more ways that a man can think, behave, and operate such that he causes his wife to NOT look up to him or admire him.

Granted, the husband may do all kinds of nice things for his wife on one hand. But on the other, he's failing to operate in a way that causes his wife admire him.

Consider yourself. In each of the roles, facets, and aspects of who you are, do you operate in a way that inspires your wife to look up to you and admire you?

Is your mode of operation such that your wife can take you seriously? Can she take you as a man who is a serious contender in the game of life?

If someone were to privately ask your wife to name a few men that she considered to be REAL MEN, would your name be on her list?

By way of example, many a young husband has thought himself to be funny and entertaining and all the while, he was completely ignorant of the fact that he was turning his wife off towards himself. While he's doing all kinds of nice things for his wife and while he's being entertaining (he thinks), HE is creating a reaction and a response in his wife such that she will not give him love, respect, or sex back.

The kind of man that a woman can admire enough to give her heart and desire to him is one who is never silly or foolish. Sure, he knows how to have fun, be fun, and create fun and at the same time, he's grown-up enough...he's mature enough...to have important, serious, and meaningful things going on in his life. He's LEADING his wife somewhere meaningful and important...not leaving all the leading up to her while he sits back and plays the clown.

Now, this is just one example. Like I said, there are a thousand more examples that could be given of how men inadvertently turn their wife off.

There is good news however. When a wife isn't interested in giving her husband love, respect, or sex, it simply means that the husband needs to learn some important lessons about masculinity and manliness.
And, if he'll learn them pronto...before his wife gets tired of being turned off by him and finds another man...he can turn his wife's negative attitude towards him completely around so that his wife WANTS to share her love, respect, and sex with him.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.