How To Fix Your Relationship With Your Girlfriend: How To Fix A Relationship In Trouble
Relationship repair is not easy. Part of this is because while dealing with a relationship that has gone south, one get depressed which can lead to not only anxiety but maybe something even worse, including alcohol or substance abuse. You want to fix the relationship, but it seems so complex that it leaves a lot of us just hanging our heads and giving up. It is imperative that you get help as soon as possible to help with the relationship fix, before it is too late.
The problems many couples face, is that they try a lot of things to get back a once happy relationship, but nothing seems to work. And this turns into arguments, and feelings of futility and hopelessness. This does not have to be the cause. Just like with everything else in life, relationship repair is a learning process. That is why I suggest looking to the professionals to assist. Instead of relying on fixing the relationship by yourself, swallow your pride (obviously nothing has worked up until now or you wouldn't be reading this). There are many books out there that deal with the information and tools needed to get that relationship back to where it was.
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Conflicts can com from physical or psychological problems in either person. One key issue that continues to cause problems is the difference in opinion when parenting. That certainly was the case with me. The wife and I were always on the opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to parenting. The books that are available help each person in the relationship to understand all the issues that exist and can help each person get to the bottom of what is truly causing these conflicts which can, in turn, help in repairing the relationship for good.
The key to having this all work, is both need to agree that help is needed, beyond trying to repair the relationship on their own. It is important that both are ready to work at it and learn what needs to be done to get that spark back. Understanding each other's difference and what fuels these conflicts is the crucial part for getting back on track.
Most likely you and your partner are causing the core problems in your relationship yourselves because of your poor communication patterns, continuing conflicts, intermittent estrangements or even sexual problems. Since your relationship with your partner is fundamental, it will be necessary for both of you to change your underlying communication patterns.
Goal-setting is the second stage of treatment. At this stage, you and your counselor specify the behavioral changes which you believe are necessary to repair the relationship. These can include increases in empathy, the use of skilled problem-solving methods, the demonstration of appreciation and the more frequent use of forgiveness.
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After a breakup, you may still have some feeling for your ex, and even want to give them affection. Is this the right thing to do though? Are you trying to get your ex back and need tips to achieve just that?
Don't Be Too Overbearing
When you do want to show them affection, try to be subtle about it and keep it at a minimum. Hold their hand or simply brush against them on accident. Don't constantly give him affection because it is going to make you look like you are desperate.
Instead of showering him with affection, walk the other way and put a smile on your face. While this may be one of the hardest things to do, it's effective and will get to your ex eventually; especially if they have gotten used to your affection.
Date Others
While you may think this is going to ruin all chances you have, it's really not going to. Your ex may seem like they don't care, but it is going to be killing them inside. Soon enough, they are going to be asking you what you're doing and they are going to start chasing you.
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Improve Your Looks by 100 Times
By improving how you look and looking 100 times better than you did when you were with your ex, is going to drive them simply insane. You're going to be hot and single and your ex is going to realize what they lost.
Take a Vacation
By taking some time off and just having time to yourself, you are going to show your ex that you don't need them. This time alone is going to allow you to perk up a little and stop feeling down and depressed. Stop being around him so often and when you are, talk about the next trip you're taking.
Improve Your Life
There will always be a small part of your ex that is not going to want you to be happy. They are going to want to see you sad and down because you are not with them. Make a change and show them how happy you really are without them.
Don't Show Too Much
Showing too much affection makes you look even more desperate than what you really are. They are going to think you are too clingy and they are never going to want you back. The more you ignore him the more he is going to want you back.
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If you have ever been in a wonderful relationship, that suddenly ended, you know how frustrating it can be. You may continue to have feelings for your ex, but are unsure whether they feel the same. You also are unsure if they have already moved on or if they are still in love with you. There are a few signs that will make you doubt if your ex as any feelings for you.
Pay Attention to Actions
Many times actions will speak much louder than words can. If your ex says that they want to be friends after a breakup but fail to talk to you, than their actions will prove they did not mean it. Your ex can say many things to you, but still not show it in actions.
Your Ex Acts Distant
When you run into each other, your ex does not make eye contact. You may feel as if he/she does not even notice that you are there. More than likely your ex is very uncomfortable and would rather not be near you.
Your Ex Has a New Love Interest
They have found someone new and improved. This is a major sign that your ex may have moved on. Though this can also be a show just to make your jealous, more times than not, it means they have moved on. If they become serious with someone, you will know they have no feelings anymore.
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Strange Emotions
Your ex has started acting strange. When you try to contact them to see when they are available, they are always busy; so busy that they cannot even afford to take a few minutes to talk to you. This proves that they are avoiding you.
They Have no Desire to Contact You
No calls have been made to you, and no form of communication has been given. They do not plan to talk to you, and will do anything to avoid it. Though you attempt to communicate, there is no sign of your ex having any desire to talk to you.
Your Ex is Not the Same
There is no longer a need for your ex to impress you. They have no consideration for your feelings, or care. When you were together they did everything to make you happy. Now it has become the complete opposite because they no longer have feelings for you.
Do Yourself a Favor
Allow yourself to not let your feelings control you. Do yourself a favor, and move on to greater relationships. If your ex is not showing any signs that they still want you, than they never will. If it is okay for them to move on then it is okay for you to move on as well.
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After a breakup, the one thing on your mind at this point, and since you are reading this is to get your ex girlfriend back into your life and to keep her there. Breakups happen to everyone at some point in their life, and with these 7 effective and successful tips, you are closer than you think.
Touch Her
If you run into your ex and you two get to talking, maybe reach out and just touch her arm gently. Don't push this, and if she pushes your hand away, respect her decision. Maybe a goodbye or hello hug will do.
Keep in Touch
This is something that is extremely important and can be something as simple as an e-mail once a week or every few days just checking in on her to make sure she is OK. Maybe ask if she needs anything. Just talk to her casually.
Steer Clear of Other Women
If you are looking to get her back, you are going to have to avoid women. Avoid their company, their calls, texts, everything. Don't let her see you with other women or your chances are pretty much shot.
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Remember Things That Mattered
Important things should be remembered; your anniversaries, birthdays, and other special moments. Remind her of these. Women love this kind of stuff, so this is going to get you in a little further to getting her back.
Text Every Now and Again
Without going too crazy text her maybe once a day or once every few days to say hi and to see how things are going her way. Maybe tell her you were thinking about her and just wanted to see how she was doing. This shows that you care, and is definitely a plus.
Show Her You Care
This can mean something like buying some flowers and delivering them to her. You can also maybe just send a smiley face through a text, or just show her in other ways that you care. Women love being pampered, but remember, you are not her boyfriend so know where to draw the line.
Don't Come Across as Clingy
Being clingy is never a good thing and should actually be avoided at all costs. By being clingy you are only coming across as being desperate. This is something you are trying to avoid, and by putting these things into play, your girl is sure to see that you want her back in your life.
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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit What to Say to Get Your Ex Back to find out more.
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