How to Cope With an Affair

Your spouse may be having an affair and that may have left you restless and worried. How do you cope with an affair so that it will not harm your health and so that it will not adversely affect your life?

1. Come to Terms With the Situation
Accept the fact that your spouse chose to seek pleasure and fun outside your marriage. Face the reality and avoid pitying yourself so that you can lessen the number of inner conflicts you will have, as well as prevent the situation from causing you sleepless nights.

2. Write Down Your Feelings
Write down exactly how you feel in your journal or diary. Write down your pain, anger, disappointment with your spouse, and the bitterness you feel in your heart. Read over what you have written down once and then close the diary and lay it aside. This action will help to give you emotional release, as well as help to lessen the pain in your heart.
After about three days, read over what you wrote. It will help to remove the sting out of the bitter memories you may be grappling with so that you will find it easier to forgive your spouse.

3. Appreciate Yourself Every Day
This action by your spouse may make you develop self-doubts which will adversely affect your self-esteem and your sense of self-worth. To counteract this feeling, take measures to ensure that you maintain your self-confidence.
• Stand in front of your mirror every day and look at your image for a few minutes. Appreciate your wonderful body and thank God He created you.
• Recall happy times you have shared with your family, friends, coworkers, and with your kids. Be grateful that you have people who love you.
• Think about the good things you have done for people—the acts of charity and the kind words you have said to people. It will remind you of your positive qualities which will make you feel happy.

4. Make Yourself Happy
No one in this world can make you feel happy if you cannot first make yourself feel happy. So, think to yourself that it is not your spouse who will make you happy in the world but yourself. And then resolve to make yourself happy continually.
Here are a few things you can do so that you will feel happy every day.
• Write down five things you are grateful for at the end of each day.
• Think often about your past victories and successes in life.
• Ruminate on possible future successes, such as a promotion you are looking forward to.
• Watch comedy movies often or listen to funny radio programs.
• Dance to your favorite music in your room.

5. Deal With the Stress in a Healthy Way
You may be tempted to start drinking alcohol or start taking drugs so that you can numb your feelings of rejection and sadness. However, avoid these courses of action and instead choose to cope with the affair in positive healthy ways, such as exercising.
Several studies have shown that exercising releases chemicals known as endorphins which help a person to feel relaxed. So, when you exercise often, you can bear the situation better and you will emerge from it a stronger, healthier human being.

6. Spend Time With People Who Will Make You Laugh
The Bible says in Proverbs 17v22 that, “A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones.” In other words, being cheerful can help to cure you of worries and anxieties, and also help to lift your spirits so that the action of your spouse will not prevent you from enjoying your life. Furthermore, associating with people who will help to keep you in a cheerful mood often can help to prevent thoughts that could instigate you to harm yourself. Additionally, such people can help to give you a positive outlook on life and also encourage you to make wise decisions.

7. Pray
The Bible says in Psalms 27 v 10 that, “For my mother and my father have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up (Revised Version). In other words, even if those close to you disappoint you, God will not forsake you or disappoint you.
God can help you to overcome the emotional pain, deal with the bitterness and vengeful thoughts, as well as help you to look forward to the future with hope and optimism.
And this is backed up by research!
A study conducted by the University of Wisconsin-Madison has revealed that people who choose to pray in hard times find comfort and relief during those times. Praying will help you to manage the negative emotions that you will experience as a result of the affair.
Accordingly, you may intone prayers such as these every day, “Dear Father, I thank You that you gave me this opportunity to experience love. Father, my spouse has broken the marriage vows. I am extremely hurt. But I commit the situation into Your hands. Please give me the grace to bear this cross. Help me forgive my spouse for cheating on me. Please give me the strength I need to endure this situation so that I do not get depressed and so that I will not suffer a nervous breakdown. And please touch the heart of my spouse and change him. Amen.”

Conclusion
If you want to cope with an affair in an effective manner, appreciate your body and be thankful for your life, make yourself happy every day, deal with the stress associated with the situation in healthy ways, and ask God to comfort you. By doing these things, you will find it easier to endure the heart ache and get on with your life.