I truly believe that your thoughts create your life, but I don’t think that your thoughts are easy to change, at least, not by your own will. What you truly think about yourself, you perceive nonverbally before you are three years old. Trying, as an adult, to think positively when your gut feels negative never works. In fact, trying to do or be anything requires lying to yourself.

Here’s one example.

Josh had everything going for him. He greeted his mother every morning with a big smile. He arranged it at the bathroom mirror first. He was convinced that his success in school and in sports resulted from his positive attitude. He maintained a body builder’s physique and dressed in all cotton clothes that enhanced his looks without showing off. Also, he was the star of the high school basketball team.

“It’s all in your mind,” his parents used to say to him whenever he ran home in pain, crying. Gradually, he developed mind control over his body. By age 14, he had memorized The Power of Positive Thinking.

After earning an MBA degree he went to law school. This was part of his game plan. Every day, he checked off at least three actions he had made toward achieving his goal for the month.

When he finished law school, he married a beautiful young lawyer and accepted a position with a Fortune 400 corporation. Floor-to-ceiling windows in his private office on the 24th floor gave him a panoramic view of San Francisco Bay.

On his 28th birthday he picked up a small replica of Michelangelo’s David that decorated his teak desk and threw it at the window. The window broke. He kicked it open and jumped to his death. No one knew why.

Have you heard similar stories?

Josh’s positive thinking took place in his left frontal lobe. His subconscious mind drowned in unshed tears. Denying feelings can be dangerous. Expressing feelings can be dangerous, too.

Children need to learn how to control themselves, but how they do it has long-lasting effects. If you are content with yourself in all areas of your current life, then you found the right balance between emotional expression and self-control. You don’t need to try to be somebody or lie to yourself. If, however, there are any areas in which you are not satisfied with yourself, you can be sure that your subconscious mind is out of synch with your conscious one.

I tell you this story of Josh because I, too, wanted to commit suicide when I was 28. I, too, had everything going for me, on the surface. I had no right to be unhappy, I thought. Luckily, I found help.

Long after my mother died, I started writing to her one day. My letter started out resentful, grew angry, then became understanding and sad—very sad—and finally, forgiving. It took a few pages. I didn’t realize that I had an understanding of her and forgiveness in me. The process mellowed me.

There are many ways to discover what’s on your mind. Writing is mine. It has always worked for me. Hypnosis works, too. Explore. Your subconscious mind won’t lie to you. Just accept whatever comes up, then, if it’s a hot potato, drop it. You can make the conscious choice when to let a feeling go. Feelings are just energy in motion.

Have you stopped trying lately?

Here’s to you.

** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways.html

Author's Bio: 

Evelyn Cole, MA, MFA, known as the Whole-Mind Writer, publishes a weekly e-zine, “Mind Nudges,” and offers an e-course called Brainsweep at http://www.write-for-wealth.com. She writes, “My chief aim in life is to convince everyone to capture the power of the subconscious mind and synchronize it with the conscious mind. That takes knowing how your own subconscious mind operates.” She has published three novels and poetry that dramatize that passion.