In a world where shoulds, coulds, and expectations have become the norm, life can become a complicated juggling game. “Simplify your life” is a catch phrase many coaches use with clients who are wound too tight—they have tremendous personal and professional responsibilities and stressors (some self-imposed), and the only way that they can slow down to the speed of life is to cut knots or, as I often say, to let go of the rope in a tug-of-war. Even though life is becoming increasingly complex, that doesn’t mean that it has to be overly complicated—an important distinction.
Take the time to define what it is you want in your life. It may otherwise be defined by someone or something else, such as your job, your culture, your past, the media, or parental programming. As long as this is happening, you aren’t free to enjoy life completely. Choices based on external influences box you in. Given the number of those influences and their powerful nature, it’s paramount that you decide what is important to you. Simplify your life, and choose your personal priorities to release you from what is no longer meaningful or relevant. It’s a matter of choosing whether you want to build a life or a lifestyle—another key distinction.
Reduce Self-Expectations
Breathe . . . relax . . . let go of the clutter. Clutter can take on many forms: thoughts, toxic relationships, piles of paper, and juggling all those balls in the air. Learn how to say no to things that drain you of energy and yes to those that energize you. This will start clearing the way toward a simpler life.
Stop Trying to Fix Others
If you’re in a relationship with someone you’re continually trying to “fix,” then it’s time to revisit why you’re in that relationship in the first place. We all have a limited amount of free time, which seems to be continually diminishing. Why not spend it with those who energize and inspire you?
Choices Eliminate Clutter
Everything you create is because of the choices you make, and through choice comes freedom. You can make choices right now that will create a life you love. Many are angry at the rat race, not so much because of what the world has become but because they have not done something about their place in it. We want a better life for future generations, but if all we show them is an absence of the work-life balance, how are they supposed to know better?
Live in the Present
By living in the present, what we do, want, and how we think about life becomes simpler. Use the past as a compass to guide you to where you want to go instead of falling backward into an abyss. Get rid of the clutter so that you can define your priorities and make clear decisions. One by one, reduce your number of commitments, goals, and obligations. This will reduce stress in many forms. Once you’ve simplified what you already have, you will have the mental and physical space to truly enjoy life, people, and experiences. You will get to know yourself better.
Reorient around What Makes You the Happiest
Complexity leaves you with a great deal to manage and juggle, and with that a lot can go wrong. A simple life is rich in its subtleties. Strengthen your strengths, and let go of the notion that you have to be great at everything. Hone your skills so that you’re masterful at them, and leave the rest to others.
Truth itself is always simple. If what you’re creating is complicated, either simplify it, or make sure that every aspect of it is directly connected to your needs in a clear and truthful way. Once you see and act with clarity, you will be sensitized to all that emerges in life with few distractions. Distractions create mind clutter.
Life has gotten extremely complex, rich with opportunities, external stimuli, and limitless possibilities. Juggling your lifestyle, managing your finances, developing your career, and striving to get ahead takes its toll on you. Even wonderful opportunities create pressure at a great cost. Success is seductive and often elusive when we chase after it instead of attracting it to us.
This doesn’t mean that you should walk away from life. Rather, it means that you should let things go until there is very little energy expended to manage your life. It simply flows.
The first step is to get rid of possessions, goals, and behaviors that have complicated your life. Second, redesign your day so that you have at least two hours of free time with nothing planned or scheduled. Get rid of whatever it is that is holding you back. Prune your life of toxic relationships, and let go of situations that are draining you. Remove self-doubt and uncertainty and whatever else is distracting you.
Enjoy Silence
Eliminate a life of expectation. Expect less from people, and disentangle yourself from obligations. Learn to say no so that you have more time and space to say yes to what you want in life.
At home:
* Get rid of stuff you’re always moving from place to place. If you don’t love everything around you, then toss it.
* Do your shopping once a week. Those quick pit stops to the grocery store a few times a week take time away from something else.
* Do laundry less often. Simplify your wardrobe, and you’ll have more pieces to mix and match.
For life:
* Downsize. Now that you have less stuff, do you really need all that extra space?
* Stop the junk mail. Take your name off lists.
* Get out of debt. Live off what you earn. Even better, live off less than what you earn, and invest the rest.
* Eliminate binge shopping. If you buy for need, great. If you buy for the adrenaline rush, then it’s something to seriously look at.
* Automate everything that’s automatable. Don’t you have something better to do with that time?
For your health:
* Laugh more, stress out less.
* Simplify your meals. Eat healthy. They don’t have to be five-course meals.
* Drink more water.
* Get off the treadmill, and go for a walk instead.
* Stop running in all directions. Slow down to the speed of life.
Finally, for you:
* Be yourself. If you’re always trying to please others and be like everyone else, who will be you?
* Trust your intuition. It will never let you down.
* Set your personal boundaries. Trying to place what isn’t acceptable into that gray zone of “almost acceptable” will wear you down. There is no halfway between the two.
* Do nothing once in a while. Let the world in.
Simplicity creates more time and space. Then, it’s your choice as to how you fill both.
** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways.html
Donna is an executive coach, author, lectures internationally, and is founder of Mindsful™, an international research and development team. In response to widely expressed interest in her highly successful and innovative approach to coaching, she established the School of Shadow Coaching™ to enable others to learn the practice. To learn more, visit http://www.abetterperspective.com.
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