Being in love is one of the best and the worst feelings in the world. Romance can turn a lot of people blind to signs that their partner is taking advantage of the situation and treating them very badly. When a person is in love, he thinks of his partner like a God who can’t do anything wrong. It becomes very difficult to accept that the God they were worshiping turned into a devil, consuming their happiness day by day. It’s very hard to grasp that a person who promised to take care of us for the rest of our life could also be so awful and possess dangerous qualities.
Due to this exact reason, the first step of making sure that you get out of a toxic relationship is to understand the difference between right and wrong. Where I know that nobody in the world is perfect and you have to overlook a lot of things, there are some things that you simply can’t turn a blind eye to as they are essentially wrong. In this article, I am going to highlight eight things that you should never ever tolerate or ignore while being in a relationship as if you do so; you will be your own worst enemies.
Emotional or Verbal Abuse
The worst mistake that the best of us make is that we casually let emotional or verbal abuse slide by saying that it is a habit of our partner. Where physical abuse comes with bruises and hurts you for a limited time, emotional abuse has an effect that buries deep down your brain and messes you up from within. You subconsciously become afraid of things, or you become a slave to your partner, thinking that you can’t live without them. This is by far the worst feeling to have while being in a relationship.
Emotional or verbal abuse may come in the most subtle of ways as the victim doesn’t even realize what’s happening to them before it is too late. It may include the partner humiliating you in front of your family and friends, treating you like you are beneath them, forcing you to do certain things, and always threatening to maintain control. It could lead to depression and anxiety, which stays with you for the rest of your life. If you notice similar patterns within your partner, you need to get away from them as soon as possible for your greater good.
Physical Abuse
If your partner is physically abusing you, you have to gain some courage and report him to the authorities. It doesn’t matter if it is a man or a woman; no one has the right to lay a finger on you. I understand that getting out of a relationship that involves physical abuse requires a lot of confidence and courage and takes a lot of time, but you need to understand that it is for the best. If you have been suffering from domestic violence, you should immediately call someone like the Los Angeles Domestic Violence Lawyer, as he will guide every step of the way on how to get away from such a partner and hold him liable for the damages that he has done to you.
Sexual Abuse
Many people don’t know this, but being married or being in a relationship doesn’t mean that your partner owns your body. You have every right to say no to sex if you don’t feel like it, and your partner has no right to force yourself onto you whenever he feels like it. As marital rape has become so common in our society, we need to educate the masses on it and to let people know of the consequence if they force themselves onto their partners. It important to realize that marital rape can happen in a non-violent relationship as consenting to sexual acts once doesn’t mean that you give your partner the consent to have sex whenever he wants to. If your partner keeps forcing you to engage in sexual activities without your permission, you should leave him as soon as possible and report him to the authorities.
Body Shaming
Being in a relationship means that you have to accept your partner for who he is. If you don’t like the way he thinks, talks, or walks, you should get out of the relationship instead of insulting them and lowering their self-esteem. If your partner keeps shaming you for your weight or appearance, you need to do yourself a solid and leave him to his own misery. Such partners try to manipulate people by telling them that if you leave them, you won’t find anyone better than them, or you will stay alone for the rest of your life. It is a very sick method of controlling the other person, and you need to see through it. Once you get out of such a relationship, you will love yourself for how you are and working towards your mental wellbeing.
Negative Remarks about Career Ambitions
A relationship is built when both the partners act as stepping stones, and each other reaches the height of success. If one of the partners is acting as a hindrance and pulling you away from succeeding in life, you need to make some immediate changes. You need to learn the difference between constructive criticism and negative criticism so that you are not fooled by your partner when he says he is only criticizing you for your own good. If your partner is always insecure about your success, gets jealous when you achieve something in life, or insults your work ethics, it is a sign that he doesn’t want you to get ahead in life.
Refusal to Publicly Acknowledge Your Relationship
If you and your partner have decided to get into a relationship rather than casual dating, there is no reason for your partner to hide it from the world (unless, of course, both of you have decided to keep it that way). However, if that is not the case and your partner insists on not telling any of your friends or family, you need to be very careful. If you are spending time with someone and you are so close to them, it means that the other person should be proud of you. And if he is proud of you, he will have no trouble to present you as his/her girlfriend/ boyfriend. Doing so might be a hint that they consider you to be a placeholder, or they might be dating multiple partners. You deserve to be someone who respects you and is proud to be with you rather than someone who prefers to hide you.
Overly Controlling and Insecure
Gaslighting is a term common as a trait for controlling partners who poke fingers in every matter. Some people think that a partner who meddles with every affair in your life is just taking extra care of you. It is a very toxic behavior as if your partner controls who you see or talk to, it isolates you from your friends and family, and you become totally dependent on him. When all you have left in your life is your partner, you can trust anyone else, which forces you to continue your relationship.
If you feel like your partner is becoming extra insecure about your whereabouts and social circle, you need to sit down and have a talk with him to make him realize what he is doing. If he still doesn’t change his behavior, you need to distance yourself from him as soon as possible. While your partner has the right to know where you are going or who you are meeting, he has no write to tell you how to dress, who to talk to, or you don’t need his permission to do things. You have a life of your own, and you have every right to make your own decisions without your partner, making you feel bad about it.
Invading or Not Respecting Boundaries
There are some things that a person holds close to himself and doesn’t like being joked about or made fun of. If you have trusted your partner with such secrets and he makes fun of these things, it means that he doesn’t respect who you are or respects your boundaries. No one in the world has the right to joke about the traumatic things you have experienced, even if it is your partner. Does your partner talk about things that make you uncomfortable? Does he engage in behaviors that he knows irritates you? Does he share your secrets with other people? Does he poke his fingers into your personal life despite knowing that you don’t like it? If your partner is doing some or all of these things, you need to let them know that you don’t like them. If he still doesn’t understand right from wrong, you can give them another chance by going to therapy. If none of them work, you know what to do.
Success Coach, Business Development Consultant, Strategist,Blogger, Traveller, Motivational Writer & Speaker
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