4 Factors That Shouldn’t Affect Your Relationship

Relationships are never easy. It takes a lot of effort for two people to get along seamlessly so expect to have a few hiccups along the way. Relationships are most complex when they first start off. Over time you get to know one another and learn to adjust accordingly.

Most failed marriages happen when the couple is young (between the ages of 20-24yrs). When individuals are younger they are still trying to get their lives together. They may or may not have stable jobs. Few of them will be emotionally stable enough to begin a family. When you’re younger you tend to do things for yourself and compromising doesn’t always come easily. Young people have over-romanticized ideas of what it may be like to be married and aren’t able to handle the reality of marriage. Rom-coms may have you believe it’s like a walk in the park- it’s anything but that.

To make a marriage work you have to keep in mind the other person’s wants and opinions as well. Don’t expect to always have things your way, you need to be willing to meet your partner halfway.

Other than not being able to make compromises to accommodate one another, couples tend to let other factors impact their relationship; some of which can be avoided and shouldn’t be a reason for a relationship to fall apart.

Here are 5 factors that couples let affect their relationships when they really shouldn’t.

• Loss of physical attraction

  It is true that physical attraction is an important part of a relationship but it shouldn’t become a reason for a relationship to fall apart. Stephen J. Betchen, author of book Magnetic Partners found that individuals who had not been sexually attracted to their partners at the beginning of the relationship were inclined to resent their partners eventually. For those that settled for partners, they were not sexually attracted to at the beginning of the relationship are likely going to have trouble making the marriage work due to their deteriorating sex life.

  For couples who were sexually attracted to their partners initially but don’t find them appealing because of how they have changed throughout the years – it’s still not over! Have a healthy conversation with your partner on how you feel about their changing appearance and your concern for how it’s affecting your relationship.

  Many women struggle with losing their weight post-pregnancy. There are some women who no longer feel sexual because of how pregnancy has changed their bodies and will distance from their partners themselves. Other times husbands are uncomfortable with their wives’ weight-gain. It’s natural for women to gain weight during pregnancy but many times they undermine how their weight-gain may impact their lives. Instead of letting your weight-gain come between you and your spouse, put in the effort to get back in shape post-pregnancy; your efforts will pay off.

  Don’t make your partner feel like they are being targeted, agree on ways you’ll both contribute to making your relationship work.

• Trust Issues

  Lack of trust in any relationship is never good. There are times where the lack of trust is justified but there other times where it’s paranoia. If you are going through a time where you have difficulty in trusting them then try and talk it out with them. Give them a chance to clear the air and don’t make assumptions. Give them the benefit of doubt and quit looking for an excuse to create drama for no reason.

  Other than having doubts about your partner’s loyalties, there are individuals who struggle with trusting others in general. There are people who get uncomfortable with the idea of not having control over a situation. If your obsession with controlling every situation stops you from trusting your partner with simple tasks like paying off the bills or cooking then consider counseling to help you figure out the kinks in your relationship.

• Financial Crisis

  Money comes and goes. When you’re in a relationship you’re supposed to get through it together. Whether it’s to do with debt or if you’re just struggling to make ends meet, being supportive and comforting each other can help you get through the toughest of times.

  Instead of letting your financial troubles build a wedge between the two of you, communicate your emotions with each other. Be there for one another and plan your steps on how you’re going to get yourself out of this problem. You’ll find that doing it correctly will bring you both even closer together.

• Bad Traits

  No one’s perfect. If you like someone for the good in them then you have to learn to deal with their bad ones too. You can bring to your partner’s attention what bothers you but sometimes life-long habits are difficult to change because they come naturally.

  Provided that there aren’t bad traits that impact the health of your relationship directly, learn to make adjustments. Breaking up over the dishes is a horrible reason to end a relationship and you’ll regret it in a while. We often get caught up in the daily tasks of life and fighting with your partner over them may feel fitting at the time but it can put you in a bad mood which can then affect the rest of your day. Constantly fighting on small things will lead to you upsetting each other and you being unhappy generally. Let the small things go, quit making a big deal out of little things that do not matter in the long run.