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Articles from nancy travers | Selfgrowth.com
- Four Reasons to Quiet Your Monkey Mind - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2014 from nancy traversWith summer here, it’s time to relax. To let yourself daydream. To take time off from your usual frantic schedule. To free yourself from the rigors of daily life and quiet your mind. Lack of structure used to be a feature of summer vacation, but we seem to be increasingly programmed. Maybe it’s ...
Views: 1232 - Why Do We Lie to the Ones We Love? - by Submitted on May 09, 2013 from nancy traversWe don’t want to lie. We love our partner. We understand a good relationship is built on trust, and that trust depends on our honesty. But sometimes we lie anyway. Why do we do it? For one thing, we’re not perfect. Our partners expect certain behavior from us (and we from them) and when we ...
Views: 1222 - Anxious About Anxiety - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversIf you have never suffered from excessive anxiety, then it may be difficult to empathize with someone who has. Anxious people may seem to be worried about nothing of substance, so it’s tempting to disregard the problem. But the fact is, anxiety—including post-traumatic stress disorder, ...
Views: 1219 - Are You Close to Someone with Narcissist Personality Disorder? - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from nancy traversWhen you are a close relative, partner or friend of a person who suffers from Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), you suffer too. People with NPD have an escalated sense of their superiority and importance in the world and a constant need for attention and admiration. They often have little ...
Views: 1219(1 vote) - Dating in the Digital Age - by Submitted on May 23, 2014 from nancy traversI have a friend who protested she didn’t like the “small talk” required in early dating, and wanted to go straight to a relationship. You can go online, research your prospective date and learn everything you need to know about him, right? Wrong. This is one process that you can’t cut short. ...
Views: 1217 - Do You Love an Alcoholic? - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2013 from nancy traversAlcohol abuse and alcoholism are so pervasive that about a third of Americans have someone close to them who has the problem. This means legions of people have relationships that are stressful at best, and damaging at worst. If your spouse is an alcoholic then alcoholism is bound to affect you ...
Views: 1213(1 vote) - Is Your Emotional Foundation Shaky? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from nancy traversFortifying or rebuilding your foundation starts with assessing how solid or shaky it is Our emotional foundation is the personality structure we operate from, much of it formed in childhood. Some of us are fortunate—born into families that shower love on their children, protect them, provide ...
Views: 1210 - Good News for Boomer Offspring - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversThree Reasons Their Divorce Rate May Be Lower Than Their Parents Baby Boomers, that group of children born after World War II, were extraordinarily lucky in many ways. They never had to fear the Nazis, war on their own turf, death camps or serious hunger. They were born after atomic bomb ...
Views: 1199 - Bad Habits That Undermine Your Success - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversLast week I talked about how you can unwittingly sabotage your own good intentions by negative motivation, blaming others and by getting discouraged too easily. Without even knowing it, you can contribute to your own struggles and thwart your goals. Here are a few more things to watch out ...
Views: 1193 - Meditation Fundamentals - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2014 from nancy traversMost of us are so busy that the thought of sitting still for 20 minutes or even 5 minutes a day is beyond us. We know meditation is probably good for us, but rewards seem fuzzy and methodology even fuzzier. What, exactly, is meditation? And do you have to be religious? Meditation is often ...
Views: 1193 - Quotes to Help You Live Life to the Fullest - by Submitted on Aug 02, 2014 from nancy traversAdmit it. It’s easier to slog along in life without great spikes of joy or great valleys of sorrow. It’s easier to follow the path of least resistance. But are you merely existing? Do you feel you could do more with your life? If so, it’s time to jolt out of your comfort zone. Here are a few ...
Views: 1170 - Riding Out Relationship Cycles - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversFashion goes in cycles. Palazzo pants, then skinny legs. Mini skirts, then below-the-knee. The economy goes in cycles, too—boom, bust and boom again. So why not relationships? I have a friend who’s close to her brother. But sometimes she’s closer than others. There were years when they both ...
Views: 1168 - Dating for Guys - by Submitted on May 29, 2014 from nancy traversLast week I wrote about dating from a women’s perspective. But what about men? It takes two to tango, and men find dating these days just as daunting as women do. Maybe more. Here are some tips: Be Self-Aware ‘Know thyself’ is always good advice, and especially when dating. If you are a ...
Views: 1167 - Five Thoughts to Stop Thinking and Start Being Happier - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2014 from nancy traversPeople are unhappy for all sorts of reasons, some of them easier to remedy than others. You may not even realize you’re unhappy, yet if you think about it, you are not living up to your happiness capacity. If you are in a rut of negative thinking that makes you unhappy, stop to think about what ...
Views: 1167 - Good Manners in the Digital Age - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversThe world has changed so fast that it’s hard to know how to behave these days. Old rules don’t apply and new ones haven’t been created yet. Suffice it to say consideration for the other guy is the key to good manners, and we don’t need Emily Post to tell us that. But when it comes to social ...
Views: 1167(1 vote) - Sweet Sleep Can Be Yours - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversWe all know a good night’s sleep is important. We feel better, more productive when we’ve had enough. But when our body is sleep deprived, it weakens our immune system, making us more vulnerable to infection. So why is a good night’s sleep so elusive? There are a number of fairly ...
Views: 1161 - Five Ways to Think Yourself Happier - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2014 from nancy traversAre you are living in a lackluster state? What can you do to shake the dust off and let the sunshine in? Sometimes all you need to do to attain happiness is look at life a little differently and re-adjust the way you think. Here are some suggestions for thinking the way happy people think: 1) ...
Views: 1158 - The Infernal Affair: Are You Caught Up in One? - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from nancy traversMost Americans think adultery is wrong. Almost 90 percent of men and 94 percent of women think it’s always wrong or almost always wrong. But many of those people have extra-marital affairs anyway. One of the most reliable sources for statistics is the National Opinion Research Center at the ...
Views: 1153 - Is It Time to See a Therapist? - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversAbout one in four Americans is affected by a mental disorder in a given year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. How many of those seek help from a mental health professional? Not nearly enough. So quite a few people suffer who might not have to if they sought help. But how ...
Views: 1146 - Great Habits that Build Happy Relationships - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2013 from nancy traversThe habits you develop can have a powerful impact on your relationship with your partner. But all habits take a bit of work to incorporate into your life. Luckily you have great motivation: A happy relationship. Visualize yourself and your partner living together harmoniously. Take baby steps to ...
Views: 1144(1 vote) - Who is SEXTing Anyway? - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2012 from nancy travers“SEXTing” is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days. With technology so readily available, it was only a matter of time until our sexuality made its way to our cell phones. SEXTing refers to anyone sending sexually explicit messages or racy photos to partners, peers, or the public; this ...
Views: 1139 - Tactics Emotional Manipulators Use to Hurt You - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2013 from nancy traversLast week I talked about how Emotional Manipulators (EM’s) make you doubt yourself, make you feel confused, and even a little crazy yourself. The result is you depend a little more on the EM and that is the whole point. Emotional Manipulators use all sorts of tactics to control you. To dominate ...
Views: 1137(2 votes) - Is Your Friend Manipulating You? - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversYou’re feeling vague resentment, but you’re not sure why. Your friend seems to ask more of you, expect more of you, than you’re willing to give. You’re feeling guilty for not capitulating to your friend’s request. You find yourself wondering why you’re doing something when you really don’t want ...
Views: 1134(1 vote) - How a Therapist Can Help You and Your Partner - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversEffective couples therapy depends on a number of factors. Both partners must be willing to make a change. If one has already decided to give up and cannot reengage, then success is probably not possible. The key is to get to a therapist before your relationship has eroded too far. If one or both ...
Views: 1132 - Are You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2013 from nancy traversSticks and stones may break my bones, But names can never hurt me. This childhood ditty may be one reason some people are slow to understand that verbal or emotional abuse is as detrimental as it truly is. After all, words are not as bad as physical blows, are they? But consider this: ...
Views: 1128 - Letting Go Can Be Good. You Can Quote Me! - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversA friend always takes herself out to lunch on her birthday. By herself. She’s been doing this since she was a young girl. It’s a good time to contemplate what you want for yourself in the year ahead. But a good life is not always about what you acquire. It can also be about what you shed. You ...
Views: 1128 - What It Takes to Be a Lady - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversSometimes it’s useful to look back at the generation before us and learn from them. When it comes to being a lady, our grandmothers knew what to do. It’s not about being pompous sticklers for using the fork with the proper amount of tines. It’s about being considerate and behaving in such as way ...
Views: 1126 - From Apology to Forgiveness: Healing and Reconnecting - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2013 from nancy traversEvery relationship suffers from moments of disappointment. He brushes you off when you’re opening your heart to him. She is always late and makes you wait for her. And these are just the small things—not nearly as painful as infidelity, for example. But the small things add up and pretty soon ...
Views: 1119 - Is My Therapy Working? - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2014 from nancy traversIt’s easy to see when your friend needs to dial it down at a party. When your cousin’s behavior is a little off. When things are off balance for someone else. But it’s not so easy to see about yourself. Sometimes you seek therapy precisely because you are not clear about where you are trying to ...
Views: 1114 - The Quest For Perfection: Is The Grass Really Greener or Merely Shades of Grey? - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2012 from nancy traversToday’s society offers no shortage of sexual and erotic material that is easily accessible to interested consumers. More than ever, we are inundated with images, written words, and discussions of what sex is and what sex could be. Sexual fantasies exist in the minds of all of us, but finding ...
Views: 1111(1 vote) - He Said, She Said: Apologies - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2013 from nancy traversWhy is it so hard for some men to utter those healing words, “I’m sorry”? And why is it so important to a woman to hear them? It seems men and women look at apologies from different perspectives. Some women, when they apologize, feel really good that they’ve made a positive effort to mend the ...
Views: 1109(1 vote) - Mustering Courage to Seek Therapy - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2014 from nancy traversSometimes the people who need therapy the most are the very people who find it hardest to seek help. They’re afraid they’re wasting the therapist’s time. They’re afraid they’re wasting their own or their loved one’s money. They’re afraid of exposing their deepest selves—and of trying and ...
Views: 1107 - So Your Spouse Is Cheating on You - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2013 from nancy traversYou’ve seen all the signs. All the sudden he’s working out when you could barely get him to walk to the end of the driveway to pick up the newspaper. He seems emotionally and sexually withdrawn when he used to want sex all the time. He’s constantly on his computer or cell phone and he’s guarding ...
Views: 1107(1 vote) - 3 Steps to Surviving a Verbally Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2013 from nancy traversAre you living in a situation that is unreal to you? Did you think you would have a good life with your partner, but instead, you suffer emotional pain? Does your relationship, which looked so attractive at first, turn out to make you miserable? Even while other people might look on your ...
Views: 1100(1 vote) - Six Essentials to Being a Gentleman - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversA gentleman is a chivalrous, courteous, honorable man, according to the dictionary. You may think gentlemen are people from the past, but thoughtfulness never goes out of style. Basically, a gentleman is considerate of others, and that’s something to which anyone of any age should aspire. Here ...
Views: 1095 - From Love to Despair: Are You an Enabler? - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2014 from nancy traversAt first you just want to help the one you love. He had a little bit too much to drink and you called in sick for him. She gambled away her funds and you transferred some money into her account. Or you covered for him when he embarrassed you with his dysfunctional behavior because he refused to ...
Views: 1094 - What Emotional Affairs are and Why They're Dangerous - by Submitted on May 20, 2012 from nancy traversWhen things are tough, it can be hard to admit you need help. That's when you need safe, reliable Orange County relationship counseling that can heal issues and problems in a calm, productive environment. People who are having emotional affairs often convince themselves whatever is going on ...
Views: 1090 - Happy Couples Communicate - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2013 from nancy traversYou’d think it would go without saying that happy couples like each other. You have to like someone before you can love them. And happy couples love each other. They share a good laugh frequently and often. They pay attention to one another. They communicate. It doesn’t always have to be ...
Views: 1077(1 vote) - Good Listening Is the Greatest Gift - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2013 from nancy traversWhat is the greatest gift you can give your partner? What is the greatest gift that costs you nothing but time and effort? That’s the gift of understanding who she is. The gift of believing in her. Think about it. When your partner knows you “get” her, you are validating her existence to the ...
Views: 1075 - Are You Guilty of Stinkin’ Thinkin’? - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2013 from nancy traversThe other day a friend tripped over her own feet, and I overheard her say to herself, “You are such a klutz.” A harmless putdown, perhaps, but with enough negative talking to yourself, you could create an unhealthy environment that works against you. This is an example of stinkin’ ...
Views: 1074 - Mistakes Even Smart Couples Make - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversThere are different kinds of intelligence. You and your partner may have been good at schoolwork; you may even have an advanced degree or two. That doesn’t mean your intelligence extends to relationships—emotional intelligence. Often being smart in relationships depends on the home you grew up ...
Views: 1072 - Speak Out: How to Ensure Your Needs Are Being Met in a Relationship - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2012 from nancy traversWhen we enter relationships, we do so with the knowledge that we will be providing the person with emotional commodities and that they will be doing the same for us. Every relationship is filled with needs. Each individual will have different needs, and each relationship will provide different ...
Views: 1068 - The Chemistry of Love - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2011 from nancy traversWe’ve all heard our friends talk about chemistry and connections. Rock stars sing about the “chemicals between us” and movies depict racing hearts, sweaty palms, and love at first sight. Have you wondered where all of these scientific, chemical, and physiological terms and ideas manifest in ...
Views: 1058 - New Year’s Resolutions for You and Your Partner - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2014 from nancy traversA happy relationship takes a little thought. I hesitate to quote the cliché that you have to work at your relationship—it sounds so onerous. And it’s really not work to make an effort—it’s an investment of time and energy to make your relationship as great as it can be. Here are a few ...
Views: 1055 - All the Wrong Ones: Re-Evaluate How You Choose a Partner - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2011 from nancy traversWhen you think about finding a partner, you probably have the perfect prospect in mind. When imagining the perfect mate, most people immediately think of physical characteristics. Many people supplement this idea immediately be adding personality traits such as humor, intelligence and charm. If ...
Views: 1049 - How Much Do You Owe Your Abusive Parents? - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from nancy traversAbraham Lincoln did not attend his father’s funeral. When Abe was nine years old, his father, Thomas, left him and his sister for six months in their backwoods cabin in the charge of their 20-year-old cousin, Dennis Hanks. During that time, they often went hungry and barely scraped by. Later, ...
Views: 1048 - Disagree without Being Disagreeable - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2013 from nancy traversA friend’s husband told her early in their relationship that there was no need to fight. He said, “Everyone tells you to learn to fight fair. But I say, we don’t fight at all.” Always a coward in the face of conflict, she thought that was great. And they don’t fight, meaning they don’t throw ...
Views: 1045(1 vote) - Contempt: A Sign Your Marriage Is in Trouble - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from nancy traversThere are as many reasons for troubled marriages as there are people in them. Surely infidelity is a big one. One partner’s selfishness is another. Disrespect for your partner’s opinions and feelings will certainly damage a relationship, as will a lack of emotional intimacy, communication and ...
Views: 1041(2 votes) - Talking to the One Who Makes You Mad - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2013 from nancy traversIf you hate conflict, you could spend a long time stewing in your anger before you express it to the person who caused it. By then, your anger may have built to levels beyond reason. Or maybe you zipped off an e-mail, comforted by the fact that technology helped you avoid a face-to-face ...
Views: 1028 - Do You Give TMI on First Dates? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2012 from nancy traversToo much information can put you at risk—or make a bad impression Are you providing detailed, personal, even intimate information on every topic that comes up on your first dates with a new person? If so, you might be sending the wrong signals. Some people will feel uncomfortable hearing ...
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