STRESS TRIGGERS Conniving friends!

Have you ever had a so-called friend that turned into your nemesis as time went by and still remained glued to you in some way even though you’ve done all you could think of to push this person out of your life?

Have you ever witnessed how some individuals weave themselves into your every relationship, tinting your every gathering with their presence, always finding a way to be invited through some other acquaintances?

Short of escaping to another part of the world and cutting all communication with previous contacts, there seems to be no way out!

Let’s analyze this person’s behavior.

If you have a spouse, they will undeniably do everything to become part of his/her life as well. At family gatherings, they will have advice as to how to raise your children. They’ll attempt to out talk or out do you at every opportunity. If you talk of making a professional move, they’ll project one as well. They’ll infiltrate your circle of friends and try to get close to the ones you value the most. It’s like if it is the only way they can feel whole!

Are they shadows? Do they crave attention so badly that they need to be the center of your life at all times?

Cunning, manipulative and devious at times, they poison you life.

When crossed, they’ll confront you in public, getting the witnesses to take sides! Their erratic behavior can come to spoil your every moment as you spend countless hours trying to understand their behavior. Having you on guard or baffled seems to be their goal! Very unpleasant and oppressive!

By the time you’re spending your evenings and days off trying to predict their next move, they have you exactly where they want you. Whether they do this consciously or unconsciously matters little. The effect is the same.

They are now in control of your life.

Time to act! Not to say, that if you see this happening you shouldn’t take steps immediately. Analyze and assess. Plan carefully.

Start by setting firm limits. It won’t stop them but you will inch back into control. Preferably keep your thoughts to yourself, as sharing your plan will probably be sensed and known, igniting further assault. It will be a long, demanding, tedious ride back. Hopefully, the person will start losing interest and move on to assault someone else’s personal and professional life.
Cultivate indifference and stand firm. Provide yourself with personal hobbies that are completely out of reach to this person. Develop new acquaintances that are in other domains so that you may have a sense of being without this shadow. This will motivate you and you’ll regain your sense of self to its full strength.

Take a stand in your household and with your relatives as to your positions on issues so that when your usurper tries to take your place on issues that do not concern him/her, your entourage knows your position clearly already.

Do not falter. It will take time. And as last resort, flee! Move elsewhere.

I must warn you though that this type of person exists every where. Your best defense is to spot them right off and set counter measures that are impenetrable. When you are known as being genuine, authentic and honest, people will respect your decisions. This is armor in itself!
Happy Trails,

Elizabeth McNally, Mentor
LICENSED CERTIFIED EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE COACH
http://guidancequest.com

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